Missed A Step On The Way To Relationship

, | Romantic | February 21, 2017

I am in seventh grade, and a new boy has started at our school. He is just adorable, with silky, blond hair and big blue eyes.

Of course I, like all the other girls, fall in love.

One day, while classes are in session, this boy and I both happen to have a hall pass to run some errand or other. I am on the third floor, headed down, he on the second, headed up.

So I think… I’ll make an impression; we can chat for a bit. I whip off my glasses (which I had just started wearing over the summer), and sashay down to meet my love.

And miss a step.

And fall down the rest of the stairs, ending right at his feet. Horrified, he asks if I am okay, and I CAN NOT SPEAK. I am dying of embarrassment.

After he figured out I was okay, we parted, but I literally did not, could not, speak to him for six months.

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Pale Potential Papa

, , , | Hopeless | February 21, 2017

I’d been at work almost 14 hours one day, and was pretty worn out. People tell me that I tend to turn rather pale when I’m tired.

I am on the road, and my wife calls me.

“Please don’t freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test. The one I used tonight said it was positive, but I want to make sure…”

I head to a local big box store, and find a multi-pack of tests, so I buy that one. My wife has wanted a baby for years, and I’m sure she’ll want to triple check.

By now I’m exhausted, but I am not stressed or upset.

I go to the cashier, and she rings up the tests, and we’re waiting for the credit card to process.

I haven’t said much to the cashier, and she seems too tired or bored to even notice me.

The cashier then glances up at my face and does a double take. She seems concerned when and stares at me for a few beats.

She suddenly looks at the bag that is holding the pregnancy tests, then back at me.

She hands me my receipt, and as fast as she can, grabs the bag with the tests, wraps the bag tightly around the box, then drops the bag into another bag trying to hide what’s inside.

When she goes to hand me the double-bagged tests, she decides to wrap the whole thing tightly back up again, and hands me everything as a tiny bundle.

I laugh a little, smile at her, and tell her I’m okay. She looks a bit sad and sheepish.

I then thank her and head home.

This was five years ago; it ended up being that the pregnancy wasn’t viable.

I still think of that cashier’s attempt at helping the quite, pale, stressed-out-looking man that I was that night, and it makes me smile…

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Pale Potential Papa

, , , | Hopeless | February 21, 2017

I’d been at work almost 14 hours one day, and was pretty worn out. People tell me that I tend to turn rather pale when I’m tired.

I am on the road, and my wife calls me.

“Please don’t freak out, but I need you to pick up a pregnancy test. The one I used tonight said it was positive, but I want to make sure…”

I head to a local big box store, and find a multi-pack of tests, so I buy that one. My wife has wanted a baby for years, and I’m sure she’ll want to triple check.

By now I’m exhausted, but I am not stressed or upset.

I go to the cashier, and she rings up the tests, and we’re waiting for the credit card to process.

I haven’t said much to the cashier, and she seems too tired or bored to even notice me.

The cashier then glances up at my face and does a double take. She seems concerned when and stares at me for a few beats.

She suddenly looks at the bag that is holding the pregnancy tests, then back at me.

She hands me my receipt, and as fast as she can, grabs the bag with the tests, wraps the bag tightly around the box, then drops the bag into another bag trying to hide what’s inside.

When she goes to hand me the double-bagged tests, she decides to wrap the whole thing tightly back up again, and hands me everything as a tiny bundle.

I laugh a little, smile at her, and tell her I’m okay. She looks a bit sad and sheepish.

I then thank her and head home.

This was five years ago; it ended up being that the pregnancy wasn’t viable.

I still think of that cashier’s attempt at helping the quite, pale, stressed-out-looking man that I was that night, and it makes me smile…

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An Argument For The Separation Of Church And State

, | Friendly | February 21, 2017

This took place a few years ago when the Fourth of July, the day the United States celebrates its founding, fell on a Sunday. Every year our church hosts a different young minister from England as a staff intern for several months, and on this particular Sunday the new minister and his wife have just arrived and are introduced from the pulpit. And right after their introduction? The congregation stood and sang “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.” Most everyone seemed oblivious, but to me it was a bit awkward that our guests were being “treated” to their own national anthem, “God Save the Queen,” with American lyrics.

I quickly scanned the worship service bulletin, hoping that was the end of the awkwardness. It was not. I was mortified to see that the church organist had selected a patriotic march to play at the end of the service: John Philip Sousa’s “Liberty Bell March.” Yes, our British visitors’ first American church service ended with the theme to “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”!

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You Wood Not Believe Where He’s Been

| Learning | February 20, 2017

In first grade, I was extremely bored and hated going to school. My siblings and I were being watched by a neighbor for about 10 minutes after my parents left for work.

After my sister and brothers left for school, I would lag back, and then go home. I would spend the day in the woods.

My parents finally found out when they were told I missed 87 days!

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