Shouldn’t Strip That Down To Basics

, , | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Working | October 27, 2016

I work at a bookstore. Our managers have the bad habit of making up stupid little rules to be more efficient. One ‘rule’ is the demand that we abbreviate our requests over the PA system. However, they clearly didn’t think it through…

Originally an announcement was: “Supervisor and/or Manager to loading bay for strip cleaning.”

“Strip cleaning” meant they gathered up all the hoarded garbage, boxes, and pallets from a shipment to take out all at once.

However, the abbreviated version was…

Over PA System: “S & M to strip, please. S & M to strip!”

This was done in a store full of customers… The abbreviation rule was immediately dropped and never spoken of again.

And They Don’t Like Your Shirt Either

, | Victoria, BC, USA | Learning | October 25, 2016

One day we’re visited by an educator from the Vancouver Island Health Authority, who’s there to tell us about mental health issues and how to recognize them.

During her presentation, I stretch by pulling my arms over my head, and she does a minor double take before carrying on about how schizophrenia manifests in teenagers and what to do about it if we start noticing signs or symptoms.

It’s only once I leave the classroom that I remember I’m wearing a t-shirt that says, “I hear voices and they don’t like you.”

A Poetic Resolution

, , | MI, USA | Learning | October 22, 2016

It is the first day of class with a horrible poetry teacher.

She knew kids hated poetry, so she hated all of us right off the bat.

She tells us that fifty percent of the grade would be to recite a memorized poem. I raise my hand and ask if I can do it right then.

She was completely shocked, and loved me for the rest of the year.

The Pipes To Their Brain Must Be Blocked Too

, | Wauwatosa, WI, USA | Right | October 21, 2016

The public bathrooms at the store I work in have stopped working. Apparently, the sewage is backing up. Not a pretty sight. Or smell.

Because of this, my managers make d*** sure no one is getting in, so they put up chairs and baskets and signs that say “Bathroom Out of Order” all over. The entire area is blocked off with rope and chairs.

Funny enough, two people force their way through only to be greeted by the wonderful aroma of backed up pipes.

We told you they were closed, but you didn’t listen. They then had the audacity to tell us that we weren’t clear enough!

On Autobot Autopilot

, | ID, USA | Right | October 21, 2016

I’m the customer in this story. I got a necklace at a Renaissance Faire not too long ago that’s essentially a tiny book on a chain, and since I work as a librarian I’ve been wearing it to work every day and I’ve gotten a LOT of compliments on it.

A couple weeks after getting it I end up going to the post office on my lunch break to send a package, and as she’s helping me the clerk compliments me on my necklace. Without thinking I reply “Thanks. I work at the library.”

The clerk gives me a weird look but says nothing, and finishes up with my package. It’s not until I’m out the door that I realize I’m NOT wearing the book necklace today, but a pendant with the Autobot symbol from Transformers on it.

I can only wonder what was going through that clerk’s head when I responded to a compliment on my “geeky” necklace with a complete non-sequitur about my job.

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