Fast Food, Slow Reply, Worth The Wait

, , , , | Hopeless | October 9, 2018

A friend of mine lives in the US. One day, he mentions going to a popular fast food chain that doesn’t exist in Germany. As I’m a curious person and always eager to try new foods, this makes me want to try said chain. I already know it doesn’t exist in Germany, so I do a bit of research; there are only two stores of this chain in all of Europe, and I feel it’s not worth it to travel all the way for some fast food.

I’m sure a lot of people will call this story fake because what I do next is flat-out absurd, but I decide to write to this company. This, however, proves difficult. Their webpage has a contact form, but you need a receipt from one of their stores, and a valid US address and phone number to use it, neither of which I can provide. Frustrated, I do a bit of research, and after a while, I come across the mailing address of this fast food chain’s parent company. Thus, I take a pen and a sheet of paper and start writing:

“Dear Sir/Madam!

Ever since hearing about [Fast Food Chain]’s food from a friend who lives in the USA, I’m eager to try it myself. Unfortunately, there are no [Fast Food Chain] stores in Germany. Could you please open a store here, preferably in [City I live in] or [Next City]?


[My Name]”

I then find an old postcard with a floral design in my desk, put it in the envelope with the letter, and add:

“PS: In case you’re not the person in charge of this decision, could you please forward this letter for me?

PPS: I added a postcard because unfortunately, if I sent you real flowers, they’d probably die before this letter arrives.”

I then send this letter, not really expecting a reply. A few months go by without a response, and I nearly forget about the whole thing.

Then, a package arrives. It contains a lot of [Fast Food Chain] merchandise — a shirt, a tote bag, a water bottle, some plastic fast food toys, etc — and a notebook with a reply to my letter on its first page.

“Dear [My Name],

Thank you so much for your letter! It totally made our day. The postcard is now sitting on our desk. Unfortunately, we don’t know if or when we can open a [Fast Food Chain] store in Germany, but we forwarded the letter for you. In the meantime, please enjoy these gifts from [Fast Food Chain].

Your friends at [Parent Company],

[Employee #1] and [Employee #2].”

There’s still no store from this chain in Germany, but I’m now saving up money to visit them some day and try [Fast Food Chain] together with my friend.

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Assuming Intelligence? That’s A No-No

, , , , , | Working | October 9, 2018

At the front desk we have a monitor that is connected to all of the security cameras in the building. We are never supposed to turn this monitor off because for whatever reason, this confuses the poor little PC that runs the system and everything has to then be rebooted for the PC to realize it is, in fact, connected to a monitor.

Apparently, not turning off the monitor is an incredibly difficult concept to grasp, as is reading a simple sentence in the English language, which is the first language for all of my coworkers at the desk.

I put a bright-a** green post-it note right over the d*** power button on the monitor, saying, “Please do not turn off the monitor.” And what happens? Yep, it gets turned off. Someone had to literally move the bloody note to push the button, and then they stuck the d*** note back on.

So, this time, assuming I am working with toddlers who have the intelligence of a certain president, I put a piece of tape over the button with one word on it: “NO.”

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Em-Bra-ce The Advice Of A Senile Old Woman

, , , , , | Related | October 9, 2018

My great aunt is 98 years old and has Alzheimer’s. Other than that and some eye trouble, she is very fit, and often gets in trouble at her nursing home for zooming with her walker up and down the hallways.

Unfortunately, her memory is completely shot, and she doesn’t recognize any of her family, and often refers to friends that passed long, long ago. Regardless, my mother makes it a point to go out of state to see her at least once a year. She has spent the last week there, and has just gotten back home. I ask how it went.

My mother tells me that she and my great aunt sat and talked for a while, and then my mother reminded her that it was dinner time and offered to walk her down to the cafeteria. My great aunt happily agreed — it was a good day, though on bad days she can be a bit… grouchy — and they went down. Once seated they talked for a little while longer.

My great aunt had no idea who she was or where, and seeing how out of touch with reality she was, my mother was a bit bleary eyed and emotionally drained, and decided it was time to head out. She told her aunt how great it was to see her, but that she really must be going. My great aunt was disappointed, but understood. Just as my mom stood up, my great aunt popped up and wished her a warm goodbye:

“It was so nice to see you. We should do this again soon, [Name that my mother doesn’t recognize]. Be safe. Keep your bra clean.”

This made my mom smile, and when she left, she felt a bit better. My mother tells me that if this is her last memory of her aunt, then she is okay with that.

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New Facebook Recruitment Techniques

, , , | Right | October 8, 2018

My other half works as a team leader at a highly popular family theme park in the UK. She had a lady with her kids come up to her the other day to make a ridiculous complaint. The lady had apparently arrived at the entrance of the park and planned to meet her friend in the car park so they could enter the park together.

Unfortunately, this lady had left her phone at home and had no way of contacting her friend to organise where exactly in the large car park and entrance they were going to meet up. So, the lady approached one of the staff members at the turnstile gates who normally check wristbands, tickets, etc. She asked the staff member if she could get her phone out, go on Facebook, add the friend she wanted to meet up with, and message her on the lady’s behalf as to where they should meet.

Obviously, the staff member refused, explaining she was not allowed to have her phone on her at work, and even if she was, she wouldn’t be okay with doing such a thing. Unsurprisingly, the clueless lady then demanded a superior to complain to about the staff member’s lack of cooperation and helpfulness. The superior taking the complaint was my girlfriend.

We still wonder, a few days later, if she has ever gone up to any other strangers in the past and asked them to add other strangers on Facebook to message them for her.

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Unfiltered Story #122764

, , , , | Unfiltered | October 8, 2018

A woman comes in with a blouse to exchange and finds some other items to purchase. She comes in with a return – from a different location – on a super busy day when the tills are lined up, so we know she’s a bit self-involved to start with.

I start to process the return portion and she shouts out in a loud and really snotty tone that I am trying to “disadvantage” her in this transaction because I have to do the return and sale separately (company policy BTW). When I ask how I am doing that, she says “I had a discount on that blouse, now you’re going to make me pay full price.” I say “No, you will get the new one at the same price” and she tells me that this would be impossible and ends the paragraph with “so how will you do that?”
“Same way I would if I were doing this in one transaction, by price-matching the blouse”.

This was not enough. As I told her the total of her purchase, she again began berating me loudly for trying to “rip [her] off”. She insisted that the total I gave her was twenty four dollars too high. I had to get out the calculator (because apparently the cash register doesn’t know how to add) and go over every single item and get her agreement on what the price should be before she finally admitted that she had her math wrong. This is the second week in a row that I have been yelled at by a customer for failing to bend the rules of mathematics to suit how much they think they should be paying. (Last week, it was a woman who refused to believe that 16X4=64.) It was lucky that none of the customers in line behind her suffered an injury from all the head-shaking and eye-rolling going on. There’s a reason we have to keep a calculator beside the tills.