Realty Bites

, , , , | Learning | November 20, 2017

I’m the idiot of this story. I need a substantial job to pay my bills, so I start searching. One of my friends tells me I’d make a good realtor, so I find a free information night at a realtor office. There are about fifteen people there, ranging from eighteen to seventy-five years old.

I immediately get labeled “Class Bigmouth” when the speaker writes on the board that his “Pet Peav” [sic] is having phones not on silent. I jokingly tell him that my pet peeve is misspelling and show him the proper spelling on my phone.

The speaker then talks about business realty and buying land for businesses, and how sometimes the business wants a certain type of land, and a good realtor will persuade the owners to sell their property if need be.

My status as “Class Bigmouth” already confirmed, I pipe up with a joke about “putting on a monster costume and hoping Scooby-Doo doesn’t show up.”

There is an absolute dead silence at this as I awkwardly try to explain the premise of Scooby-Doo to everyone. Eventually, we move on and I very quickly decide that the realtor life is not for me.

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How Very Tot-ful

, , , , , , | Hopeless | November 18, 2017

Every fall, we run a donation drive to benefit Toys for Tots, an organization run by the United States Marine Corps which collects new, unwrapped toys, and donates them to children whose families can’t afford them for the holidays.

Today, I had a family come through my line to buy a parakeet: a father, his daughter, around 12 or 13 years old, and his son, around 9 or 10 years old. After ringing up the bird, I asked the father if he’d be interested in donating to Toys for Tots. He turned to his daughter and said, “It’s your money; it’s up to you.” She said, “Yes. It’s a nice thing to do.”

This year, we have stuffed dogs, cats, and bunnies available for donation. The bunny is very popular, and when people ask to donate a specific toy, that’s almost always the one they choose. I asked the girl if she cared which toy she donated, and sure enough, she chose the snuggly pink rabbit.

Each toy has a name. The dog is Chance, the cat is Lucky, and the bunny is Hope. So, I told this sweet young girl who chose to spend $5 of her own money, “Thank you; you’re giving a child Hope,” and her face lit up. I won’t soon forget this young girl or her generosity.

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Technology Is Taking A Turn

, , , , , | Learning | November 18, 2017

I’ve worked at various IT support desks throughout the years and they’re always good for amusement. One day I get called in to fix a computer. Given I can’t reach the thing remotely, I walk over there.

I’m greeted by someone giving a course on reanimation to about a dozen students. She points me to the malfunctioning machine, giving no other info than “it’s broken,” and tells me she’ll continue while I work.

Given the PC has been turned off, I turn it on, fully expecting to see an error screen of some sort.

Nothing comes up, and while I ponder this conundrum, the teacher apparently notices the PC is on, and says, “Ah, you fixed it?”

Before I can help myself, I blurt out that I just turned it on, much to her chagrin and to the amusement of the students.

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Unfiltered Story #100141

, , , , | Unfiltered | November 17, 2017

I work in a chain fast food restaurant, at night, and it is pretty slow. A sfamily comes in. At this place you have to ask if they’re eating for here to go, I asked and she said “To go” So I put that in the computer and continued with their order. It was a pretty long one, cause it was a big family, so I made sure everything was right and she said it was.

They go to sit down and I get their order ready and put them into bags. I call her name and she comes over the counter and looks very confused/angry. Then she looks at me and says “Um. I ordered this for here.”

I just pause for a moment and decide not to argue with her. Instead I said “I’m sorry, I can put it onto a tray if you’d like.” A process that would have taken less than a minute, and she grabs the bags from me and says “No. It’s TOO LATE.”

I just think she wanted something to b**** about. Not the rudest customer but probably one of my favorite stories about working there.

Behaving Fairly Fairy

, , , , , , , | Romantic | November 17, 2017

Some friends and I are at a party over Halloween weekend. One of them is dressed as the Good Fairy and carries a wand which is handmade of pretty thick wood, painted, with a star and glitter. She’s also a bit of a goody two-shoes, and every time someone swears she’ll tap them on the head with her wand and say, “The Good Fairy doesn’t like that!”

As the night goes on, people get progressively drunker, and a guy none of us knows has been bugging her for a while. We’re trying to get away from him when he grabs her breasts from behind. She swings around and smacks him in the face with the wand so hard she breaks it in half. “THE GOOD FAIRY DOESN’T LIKE THAT!”

He got kicked out.

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