Minimum Balance For Maximum Charge

, , , , | Working | September 23, 2017

I used to work at a bank as a teller, then in their main offices. During this time I did not do my personal banking with them. While I was working there, they started an initiative to get all the employees to move their accounts from their old banks to them. As a reward, they would “be able to expedite the processing of paychecks,” so we would get paid a whopping one day earlier.

The only problem was, this same bank severely underpaid its staff and, because this particular bank was made for higher-end customers, the employees would never be able to meet the minimum-balance requirements. Sadly, not every employee saw through this obvious trap, and they were hit with a lot of minimum balance charges.

This was only one of many ways in which this particular business tried to screw over its own employees.

Remember, if you work for a larger company, always take what they tell you with a grain of salt. Their priority is money, nothing else.

The Hat Is Key

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

This story happened years ago when I worked at a small fast food franchise. I was responsible for opening the store on Saturday mornings, so Friday nights I needed to remember to pick up the key before going home. I also wore a hat most days when I worked, so I wouldn’t get hair in the food.

One Friday night, I was already in my pajamas and relaxing for the night, when I suddenly remembered I forgot to pick up the key. It was almost closing time, so I leaped into my car without bothering to change and drove full-speed to the store. By then it was closed, but there were still coworkers present to put away food and do final cleanup.

When my coworker saw me banging on the door — in my pajamas, hair a mess, and wearing a pair of gardening shoes that were the first thing I could find to throw on my feet — she opened the door and gave me a shocked look.

“I almost didn’t recognize you!” she told me. “You’re not wearing a hat!”

Turned Into A Corny Story

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

I was listening to music while eating candy corn. It was a slow day, and my boss was incessantly interrupting me to talk about video games. Thinking his interruptions were about work, I kept having to take an ear-bud out and then put it back in.

Finally, after being interrupted too many times, I ended up putting a candy corn in my ear and trying to eat one of my headphone ear-buds.

I thought to myself, “Why does this candy corn taste like earwax and failure?”

Provide Assurance Before Insurance

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2017

It was near month end when a lot of car insurances were coming due. Near closing time, a young man came in with that tell-tale look of desperation and panic that just told us something was up.

He came to the counter and I was to serve him. He blurted out, “My insurance is due tonight, and I don’t have the right paperwork, and I don’t get paid until tomorrow, and I think I may owe money for some fines, and I don’t know what to do!!”

I calmly took his papers, looked at them and then to him, and said “Okay, first thing we do is PANIC!” I took a beat, held eye contact, then said, “Okay, good. Nailed it. Now we just need to figure out how to make this work for you.”

I don’t think he exhaled the whole time.

A Weird Beard Exchange

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 22, 2017

I regularly played guitar on Sunday mornings with the music team at my church, and had for many years at the time of this story.

This particular Sunday was during a period where I was in between jobs, and I had let my beard grow out for a couple months due to laziness, and a little curiosity.

An old lady that I recognized, but had never talked to before, came up to me after service. “Excuse me,” she said, “I was looking at you during worship today, and I was just thinking that you used to be such an attractive young man. I just wish you’d take better care of yourself.”

To this day, that has been the only exchange between that woman and me.

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