Has No Idea What Is On The A-Gender

, , , , , | Learning | December 29, 2017

I am in a college English Language class, but for some reason a substitute teacher has decided to bring in some strange gender theory that means nothing to our coursework, exam prep, or subject. She has conducted an experiment with three groups: one of all girls, one of all boys, and one of a roughly equal mix.

Unfortunately, for whatever theories she is trying to demonstrate, she says this as we are entering the classroom, and consequently we all sit in the groups she requested with no difficulty… by sitting in the seats we always sat in. One table now consists of all girls who have been a friendship group since they were eleven, one is all boys who mostly form up the college football team and their close friends, and the third table, mine, is a group of mixed gender people who usually annoy our regular teacher by goofing off for most of the lessons and yet still turning in technically perfect assignments. At once, we see that whatever this new person is trying to prove is doomed to fail.

The sub then announces that we are to build the tallest house of cards we can in twenty minutes; her wording, however, is that she will measure from the table to the top card, not that she will measure the number of tiers or how many cards are used. Her second mistake.

The third mistake is to then attempt to use this twenty minutes to do something else which involves leaving the room. She sets a timer and leaves. The all-girl table immediately sets to work trying to make a house of cards, finding that the table is too smooth and the cards too slippery to get much resistance. The all-boy table decides that they have already lost and it is much more important to talk about other things and mess around. And my mixed table also decides we have things that really need doing: mostly discussing who is the biggest diva between a guy and a girl who accidentally came in with the same handbag. But in the final few minutes, we do have the presence of mind to haul a few chairs onto the table, stick a bottle of water on top, then balance the whole pack of cards on the bottle, thus creating what is by far the greatest distance between table and highest card.

At the teacher’s return, she attempts to argue that it is gender that dictates the fact that the girl group tried, the boy group didn’t, and the mixed group cheated. Never did find out what point she was trying to make, but we did all fail our next exam, regardless of gender, as a third of the material was never covered with us.

Some Sales Are Worth Crawling For

, , , , , | Right | December 28, 2017

Many years ago I was working at a supermarket as night-fill staff, where we restock the shelves after closing time. It was about 10 pm, and the roller shutter was three quarters shut, the lights in the mall were off, and the front of the shop was full of boxes.

A woman crawled under the mostly-shut roller door, then asked if we were open and if she could buy a couple of things!

Have A Bad Feeling About This

, , , | Healthy | December 28, 2017

I have a regular gynecologist who I’ve been seeing for several years. Usually before she begins the exam, she’ll touch the speculum to my thigh, and move it up my leg, saying ‘Feel this, feel this,’ to get me used to the feel and temperature before she begins the exam. Today, she’s asked me if it’s all right if an intern does my exam while she supervises, and I agree.

The intern is super nervous, and admits to me that I’m the first patient today that’s agreed to it. When she begins the exam, she picks up the speculum and starts tapping it to the side of my knee. “Um, so… You’ll feel this…”

My doctor and I both burst out laughing, and my doctor had to correct her. I hope I didn’t break her confidence!

Giving You A Mall-ing

, , , , , | Working | December 27, 2017

Years ago, I worked for a company on the team that set up new store fronts. That year, the CEO made a promise to stockholders that we would have five new stores open by Black Friday in the state.

Unfortunately, one of the new stores was being put in a mall that was being built. They ran into problems, and the construction of the mall was delayed by six months. This pushed the store set up long past the holidays. We found this out early and reported it to corporate.

The next morning, my direct supervisor got a furious call from the CEO. He said he had promised a store ready to go by Black Friday, and we would provide it, no excuses.

So, October of that year we went to the active construction site of the future mall. We had to carry racks and merchandise from a block away by hand, as we couldn’t get a vehicle close, and we had to wear hard hats to go to and from the store. There was no plumbing or electricity, so we had to rent generators to run rented lights and a heater while we worked. The windows weren’t installed yet, so we had tarps taped over them.

Finally, after the most difficult store set up ever, we took pictures of the set up and sent them to corporate.

They responded to now pack everything back up and ship it back to corporate. By the time the store could have customers, everything would be seasonally changed, and they didn’t want anything valuable left behind.

So, we taped the boxes back up, undid everything, and carried it out to be shipped back. The whole process was three weeks of labor for a team of six, plus hotels, travel, shipping, and rental costs.

The photos of the “finished” store went out to stockholders, captioned that the CEO met his promise of having the store ready for Black Friday.

Six months later, they sent us back to set up for real this time.

The company went out of business since then, and every Black Friday I remember this story that demonstrates why.

Fight Fire With Kindness

, , , , | Hopeless | December 25, 2017

When I was four, our century-old wooden farmhouse burned to ash. It was January, so all our Christmas gifts went up in flames along with everything else we owned. We literally were left with only the clothes on our backs.

My parents didn’t know how they were going to afford to replace the necessities. They were not rich, and due to the age of the house there wasn’t much in the way of insurance. With two small children to care for, things were looking rather grim.

Then the donations started to arrive. Friends, neighbors, and local clubs and businesses all pitched in. These people, many of whom were strangers, gave money, clothes, furniture, and even toys. This support was especially heart-warming considering that January tended to be a difficult time of year for folks. Our rural community came together and did what they could to help my family through one of the most difficult periods of my life. Even though I was only four at the time, I still smile when I remember their kindness.

Page 122/205First...120121122123124...Last