Getting Stick For The Dongle

| New York, NY, USA | Romantic | October 30, 2013

(I am female, and at a party. I work with a computer program that requires a key, or dongle, to operate. It looks something like a USB thumb drive, and at this moment I am wearing it around my neck.)

Friend: “Is that a USB stick?”

(I explain to them that it is a dongle, and not a USB drive.)

Me: “You’re like the ninth person to ask me that. I swear I am going to have sex with the first person to get it right.”

(Just then, my girlfriend arrives.)

Girlfriend: “Are you wearing your dongle?”

(I do a victory fist-pump and our friends crack up. It takes a while to explain to my girlfriend what had happened!)

H2-Woah, Part 2

| London, UK | Right | November 5, 2012

Me: “Hey, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I would like two bottles of water, please.”

(I give the water to the customer.)

Me: “That’s £5 please.”

Customer: “Excuse me? How much?”

Me: “£2.50 each, so £5.”

Customer: “That’s disgusting. How do you get away with charging that much for water? I am only willing to pay 50p for both as it’s only bottled tap water.”

Me: “It’s not tap water; it’s mineral water. Tap water is free if you want it.”

(The customer hands me £10.)

Customer: “I expect £9.50 change as I’m not paying that much.”

(I hand the customer £5 change.)

Me: “No, it’s £5 change.”

Customer: “I’m just f***ing with you. You’re just so beautiful I thought you deserved some abuse!”


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No ID, No Idea, Part 8

| Greenville, SC, USA | Right | June 20, 2011

(I work security at a nightclub.)

Me: “ID, please.”

(I look at the customer’s ID.)

Me: “Sir, are you sure you want to use this ID?”

Customer: “It’s mine. I’m old enough.”

Me: “I don’t think so, sir. And, if I’m right, you’ll be spending time explaining things to the nice officer in the office.”

Customer: “That’s my ID and I’m 21.”

Me: “Okay, let’s go.”

(I begin escorting him to the office.)

Customer: “I don’t get it. What was the problem with it?”

Me: “Well, for starters, I’ve seen a lot of IDs come through here. I’m not aware of any state that uses photos with a beach scene background.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 7
No ID, No Idea, Part 6
No ID, No Idea, Part 5
No ID, No Idea, Part 4
No ID, No Idea, Part 3
No ID, No Idea, Part 2
No ID, No Idea

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