(I have invited my two oldest nephews to my home for a week-long visit over summer break. The younger of the two, age six, refuses to eat any food that is prepared for him for the duration of the visit — even foods that he normally loves and will devour at home. We figure it’s just a “how much can I get away with when Mom isn’t around?” gesture on his part, but his older brother is taking this matter very seriously. One afternoon, while having a snack that includes baby carrots and ranch dressing, the six year old is whining about how much he hates carrots, despite my knowing that’s not true. As I’ve told the boys that we can’t go out to play until everyone’s finished their food, his older brother, age nine, decides to try and help out.)

Oldest Nephew: “Hey, [Brother], just do what I do! I put the carrots into my mouth, and chew them up really small, and then I swallow them. Easy!”

(Most of us just call that “eating”, but I guess my nephew thought he was really on to something with that one!)

(Dinner at my nephew’s wedding is delicious. It’s also Southern: barbecue, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans cooked with onion and a ham hock. The wedding cake is red velvet. There is one lonely-looking salad, included perhaps to keep the entire menu from being blackballed by the American Heart Association.)

Out Of Town Guest: *poking the chicken dubiously* “Maybe if it was baked…”

Local Guest: “Oh, honey. This is Missouri. We don’t bake anything.”

(We are having a girls only weekend away with my sisters-in-law and the oldest nieces, including one nephew’s fiancée. The beach house we are staying at is next to a boy’s party house. All of the nieces end up partying on the beach with the boys.)

Niece: *coming into the bedroom we are all sharing* “What are you doing in bed, [Fiancée]? You should be out partying with us. You might meet a nice boy!”

Fiancée: “Meet a nice boy? No, thanks, I’ll stay here.”

Niece: “Oh, are you sure? The boys are great; you could have so much fun.”

Fiancée: “I. Am. Engaged. To. Your. Brother.”

Niece: *shrugs* “Oh, well, are you sure?”

Fiancée: “YOUR. BROTHER. ENGAGED.”

Niece: “Oh. Okay.”

(My nephew has a favorite robe that he still wears even though it is several sizes too small. One day he is home alone, and my mom stops by to check on him. He answers the door wearing nothing but his favorite robe.)

Nephew: “Oh, hi! Next time, Grandmom, call me and I’ll put on pants!”

(My mother is singing a children’s song to my four-year-old nephew. My nephew is bi-racial, black and white; I am super pale white.)

Mom: *singing* “God loves all the children of the world, black, yellow, red, and white.”

Nephew: *stops my mom singing with a frown* “Wait, Grandma! There is no such thing as red children! Or yellow or white. There is only brown!”

(He says this so matter-of-factly that mom can’t help but laugh.)

Mom: “Is that so? Then what color is your mom?” *his mom is black*

Nephew: “She’s just brown. I’m light brown. Uncle [Name] is dark brown.”

Mom: *thinking she’s got him now* “What about Aunt [My Name]?”

Nephew: *considers this for a moment* “Aunty is light light light light LIGHT brown.”

(He’s got the world figured out.)