Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Surprised You Haven’t Gone Loony Already

, , , , , , | Right | October 3, 2019

(I work near the United States border at a business which mainly caters to Canadians. I wish I had a loony for every time this exchange took place.)

Me: “Okay, your total is $5.00.”

Customer: “Hmm, how much is that in Canadian?”

Me: *already wary* “If you have $7.00 Cdn, that will cover it.”

Customer: *hands me a $10*

Me: *deep, calming breath* “Okay. This Canadian ten is worth seven US dollars. You owe us five US. So, I’m going to give you two US in change. Okay?”

Customer: *thinks*

Me: *thinking* “Please understand it… Please understand it… Please understand it…”

Customer: “But you owe me $3!”

Me: *wishes we had conquered Canada back in 1812*

We Tire Of Online Names

, , , , , | Right | May 9, 2019

(The place where I work has a business model based on the following facts. The first is that many companies will not ship to Canada, or charge a massive fee to do so. The second is that we are a hop and a skip from the US/Canadian border. Normally, when our customers come in for their packages, it’s just a matter of verifying their ID and making sure that they are properly registered in our system. There’s a fair bit of paperwork involved, but everything tends to run smoothly. On this particular day, which is busy due to the holiday season, a customer comes in demanding a set of tires. My boss looks up his account, and I overhear some of what goes on.)

Boss: “I don’t see any tires under your name.”

Customer: “It came under [Wildly Different Name].”

Boss: “If it came to [Different Name], then they’re [Different Name]’s tires. He has to come to pick them up.”

Customer: “No, they’re my tires! [Different Name] is my eBay account; everyone knows that!”

Boss: “We don’t know that! We don’t know who the heck [Different Name] is! Do you think we hire what’s-her-name, the psychic lady?”

Customer: “[Different Name] is my eBay account! They’re my tires!”

(After some back-and-forth, my boss has had enough.)

Boss: “[Coworker], could you take care of Mr. [Different Name]?”

(My coworker came and got the guy’s information, and they eventually settled the matter and headed outside to give the guy his tires. When my coworker came back, we learned that the guy announced that not only would he be leaving and taking sixty friends with him — we doubt he has six friends, let alone sixty — but he also claimed he’d get Toronto’s senator to shut us down. Buddy, we’re on the USA side of the border; I doubt you could do much if you WERE a Toronto senator, and given how popular we are with the rest of our customers, trying to shut us down would be political suicide.)

Pulling A Queen From Your A**

, , , , | Right | November 15, 2018

(I work nights at a hotel and am pretty used to the random types of people we get. This night I am sitting in the back office behind the lobby counter. We have an arcade right next to the lobby.)

Coworker: “There’s a couple of hookers with two guys, and they want to play pool.”

(I go to the side of the counter and look at the window’s reflection to see four people hanging out around the pool table. One of the girls is digging through her purse for change and the other looks like she is picking a wedgie when…)

Wedgie Girl: “I found a 20-dollar Canadian bill in my butthole!”

(I laughed so hard I had to go into the back and wipe the tears from my eyes.)

Flash With Anger

, , , , , , | Right | April 24, 2018

(I work for a company which captures people’s photos before they go on the attraction. We are entirely separate from the location in which we rent from. Often, we are dealing with thousands of people on a constant basis. They are placed into a waiting room and we’re tasked with capturing their picture in front of the green screen. Technically, nobody has to actually take the photo, but we try, anyway, because it’s drilled into our heads to capture as many as possible. However, it is entirely up the family, people, or group to actually have their photo done if they wish to. I am not one of those who takes the photos, I’m merely a salesperson who is tasked with showing the photos after the ride and selling it if the individuals want their picture. I am often busy showing numerous people their photos and taking the payments. A lady comes up to our sales desk.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’d just like to know, what kind of flash do you use for your photos?”

(I don’t know much about the equipment in which we use, as I am just a sale’s supervisor. Further, I’m contractually obligated not to disclose the company’s equipment or procedures.)

Me: *busy, and rather distracted* “It’s just a flash, like every other flash used to take a picture.”

Customer: “But it was so bright and so sudden! Is it necessary?”

Me: “Of course! The picture would come out pitch black without it! I’ve seen it happen when our flash stopped working.”

(By this point, the lady releases how distracted I am, and proceeds to another one of our sales staff.)

Customer: “What kind of flash do you use here?”

Coworker: “I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “It’s just that… I’m pregnant! That flash was so strong and so blinding! And I’m pregnant!”

(She’s holding her belly, and we assume she must be in her early term as she’s rather skinny.)

Coworker: “Miss, I can assure you that the flash is perfectly safe. It is not an xray; it’s simply a flash. Many new parents actually have their newborns take photos with flash. The light may not be the greatest things for their eyes, but your baby would not have been exposed to it.”

(The lady leaves us. We’re a bit surprised by her questioning and find it somewhat silly. However, I mention to my coworkers that it’s possible the lady has miscarried, or REALLY wants the baby and is genuinely scared that anything could mess things up. But this isn’t the end of things with this woman. After she deals with us, she goes upstairs to where we do stunt shot pictures. She waits in a long line-up to speak with the coworker there, who actually happens to be the manager.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I had a photo taken downstairs. I’m pregnant and that flash was really rough.”

Manager: “Oh, I’m very sorry about that. But the flash will not hurt your baby.”

Customer: *getting upset* “How do you know?”

Manager: “Miss, if you head outside, you’re exposing yourself to radiation from the sun. The flash has none. It is just light produced by electricity. Just like the lights from above us. I promise you, the baby is safe.”

Customer: “Well… you know, you should really tell everyone that the photo is not for security purposes! We thought it was! We wouldn’t have done it!”

Manager: “Miss, we have no time to explain to customers that it is not for security purposes. If you ask the staff taking your photo, they will tell you that it is just a souvenir shot. We are not allowed to mislead.”


Manager: “I am very sorry that you feel that way. Again, nobody ever told you that it would be for security purposes; we go through thousands of guests and have to keep the line moving. And I promise you, the baby is unharmed.”

Customer: “THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! I would like to speak with the manager!”

Manager: “I am the manager. I do not know what you would like me to do for you.”

Customer: “Is there a phone number? Is there no one who can be reached so that we change the rules?”

Manager: “There is nothing to be done, as no harm as been done. Miss, with all due respect, I have to get back to my work. I can do nothing more for you but reassure you.”

(The lady stood there huffing angrily, while unfortunately the manager had no choice but to continue working and ignoring her. She eventually left, and there was no follow-up. But the entire situation was a new one for us, especially with how difficult it was for us to explain that the flash could not harm a baby or cause a miscarriage.)

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3

, , , , | Right | August 28, 2013

(I work at a gift shop in Canada, just beside the US border, so we usually have a lot of American tourists. Our gift shop is one of the only places in the area that lets a customer perform their transactions in US currency.)

Customer: “Do you take real money?”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean?”

Customer: “Real money!”

(The customer holds up US currency.)

Me: “Oh, yes, we take Canadian or American, and we’ll give you American change back if we have some in the till.”

Customer: “Good. You people here are weird about your money.”