Daylight Save Me From This Stupidity

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests

(We have a certain time by which all paper carriers should be finished. On weekdays, it’s 6:30 am.)

Customer: “I need to make a complaint about my carrier! She’s late every morning now!”

Me: “I do apologize. Is she delivering after 6:30 in the morning?”

Customer: “Well, no. But ever since daylight savings, it’s light outside when I get may paper!”

Me: “But she isn’t delivering after 6:30?”

Customer: “No, but it’s light outside!”

Me: “But the paper isn’t being delivered later in the morning?”

Customer: “It’s at the same time it always is; it’s just too d*** bright!”

Me: “…well, I’m very sorry to hear that, sir.”

Time To Sign Up For Delivery By Delorean

| USA | Extra Stupid, Time, Top

(I’m answering the main line at a busy newspaper on a Saturday.)

Me: “[Newspaper], this is [name].”

Caller: “Yeah, it’s dark out.”

Me: “…Okay?”

Caller: “Yeah, it’s… what time is it?”

Me: “It’s 10:12 p.m., sir.”

Caller: “Yeah, it’s 10:12 p.m. and I still haven’t gotten my Sunday paper.”

Me: “Sir, it’s 10:12 p.m. on Saturday. We’re still making the Sunday paper.”

Caller: “But I haven’t gotten my Sunday paper!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I understand. That’s because it’s Saturday. Your Sunday paper will be delivered as usual in the morning.”

Caller: “But it hasn’t arrived yet!”

Me: “It’s still Saturday night. The Sunday edition will arrive Sunday morning.”

Caller: “I haven’t gotten… oh, wait. It’s Saturday?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, then… I’ve been working nights. I’m very confused about things now. I just knew it was dark.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir.”

Caller: “This never happened.”

Me: “Deal.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 2

| Uncategorized

Me: “We’ll need to put this on a credit card.”

Caller: “I don’t have a credit card.”

Me: “You can pay by check, if you’d like.”

Caller: “Can I fax you a check? I really need this to start right away.”

Me: “We can’t accept a faxed check, sorry.”

Caller: “Well, can I fax you cash then?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing

One Foot In The Grave, One Hand On The Printing Press

| Uncategorized

Me: *on the phone* “**** Newspaper, can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, is this the obituaries?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, it is.”

Caller: “I need to place one.”

Me: “OK ma’am. You can send that to me via fax or email.”

Caller: “What do they typically say?”

Me: “They vary, but some good information is where the individual was born, when they passed away–”

Caller: “Oh, he’s not dead yet.”

Me: “I–I’m sorry?”

Caller: “He’s very sick, though. Should be any day.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t run an obituary until the individual has died.”

Caller: *sighs heavily* “Well that’s VERY inconvenient.” *hangs up*

Lost In Translation

| Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, this is Classifieds, can I help you?”

Customer: *with a heavy accent* “Yays, I put een an ad, and eet sayes ‘peacock truck’ but eet should be ‘peacock truck’.”

Me: “The ad says ‘peacock truck’, but it should be ‘peacock truck’? I don’t understand the difference. Did they get the color wrong or something?”

Customer: “No, no, peacock – eet ees not a color, eet ees a peacock, a peacock truck!” *starts swearing in Spanish*

Me: “Sir, is there anyone else there who might be able to talk to me? I’m sorry; I can’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

Customer: “Eet is seemple, eet ees a peacock truck – Pee, uh, ee, ee, uh…”

Me: “Sir…are you trying to spell ‘pickup’? Is it a pickup truck you’re selling?”

Customer: ‘Yays, yays, eet ees a peacock truck, like I say before.”

Me: “Right, sir, I’ll fix that for you. We’ll run the ad for two days extra, to make up for lost time”.

Customer: “Thank you. Goodbye.” *hangs up*

(I receive another call later that day.)

Me: “Hello, this is Classifieds, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I went to look at this truck that was advertised in your paper, and it wasn’t what they said it was. It’s false advertising!”

Me: “What was the problem? What was wrong?”

Customer: ‘Well, the ad said it was a peacock truck, and I love that color. We went to see it, and it was black! That’s not peacock!”

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