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Build Up Of Hot Air

, , , , | Right | November 11, 2010

(Our store is mostly outdoors, but it has a small greenhouse where cafe customers often sit and have coffee.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I would like to sit in the greenhouse. Could you open a vent for me?”

Me: “Actually, when it’s windy like today it rattles a lot when the doors are open, so you might be more comfortable with them closed.”

Customer: “But we can’t sit in there without ventilation. What about the greenhouse gas?!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Greenhouse gas! Like global warming! You can’t let people sit in there if you’re letting the greenhouse gas build up!”


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Caught Red Carded

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2010

(A customer comes in to get a replacement debit card. Lost cards attract a replacement fee, but for stolen cards, the fee is waived.)

Customer: “I need to cancel my debit card and get a new one.”

Me: “No problem. Was it lost or stolen?”

Customer: *looks a bit confused* “I’ve only just noticed it’s missing. Does it make a difference?”

(I explain about the replacement card fee.)

Customer: “Yeah, I think it must have been stolen when I left my wallet in the car earlier.”

Me: “No problem. Do you happen to have any ID on you?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(The customer pulls out an old, tattered wallet that also clearly contains a reasonable amount of cash, and gets a driver’s license out.)

Me: “Thanks. You were pretty lucky.”

Customer: “How come?”

Me: “Lucky they only stole your debit card from your wallet.”

Customer: *suddenly looking guilty* “Yeah.”

(Pause.)

Customer: “So I’m going to be charged the replacement card fee?”

Me: “Yeah.”


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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Take It Away, Uncle Sam

, , | Right | November 2, 2010

(Fast food places are often referred to as takeaway stores in New Zealand.)

Me: “Hello and welcome to [Fast Food Place]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “So, what is a tar… key… ah… way…?”

Me: “Um, takeaways. As in food you can take away.”

Customer: “Oh, is it a Maori word?”

Me: “No, sir. It’s an English word. May I ask, are you from out of New Zealand?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m from America, but you’re lying about takeaways being an English word. I’ve been to Canada and they don’t use it there!”


This story is part of the “What Are They Teaching In School These Days?!” roundup!

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Thick Accents, Thicker Heads

, , , | Right | October 19, 2010

(A teenage girl enters the library.)

Me: “Hi, do you need help?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Okay. Are you a member of this library or any other Wellington library?”

Customer: “Oh, no. I’m here with my mother for the US summer ’cause I live with Dad in Florida.”

Me: “We can sign you up to the library for free and issue you a card. The card will cost two dollars.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “So, what book were you looking for?”

Customer:Twilight. Have you heard of it? Most people in America have read it, but I’m not sure if it’s here.”

Me: “Oh, yeah. It was quite big for a while. My sister loved it.”

Customer: “It’s my second favorite book ever, after Eclipse.”

Me: “Oh, did you leave your copy in America?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted a copy from here because everyone here has really funny accents and I wanted to know how that would change the story.”


This story is part of our Libraries Roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Struggle With Reading And Comprehension

 

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Just Wait Until She Finds The Penny Slots

, , , | Right | July 11, 2010

Customer: “I’ll take a $2 scratch-and-win, please.”

Me: “Awesome. Here you go.”

Customer: “I was wondering how much you have to pay for one with prizes?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I got a $3 one, would it have a chance to win prizes?”

Me: “That one you have has a chance to win prizes, ma’am. They all do.”

Customer: *surprised* “Really?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: *excited* “You learn something new every day!”