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Leuk Who’s Talking

, , , , , | Right | December 24, 2010

(A lady jumps the extremely long line to see Santa.)

Lady: “Hey, do you mind if we go next? My son actually has leukemia and we need to get to the hospital to get his treatment.”

Child: “Mum, I don’t have leukemia.”

Lady: “I told you to SHUT UP!”


This story is part of the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

Read the next Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup story!

Read the Children-Behaving-Better-Than-Their-Parents roundup!

Totally Lost The Pot

, , , , | Right | December 22, 2010

(I am working checkouts when a customer comes up with a stack of small buckets.)

Customer: “There should be about 23 of those.”

Me: “What do you use these for?”

Customer: “My husband uses them to mix cement, and then he just throws them out.”

(I begin scanning the buckets. Suddenly, the customer comments loudly.)

Customer: “We are not using them to grow pot!”

Not-A-Brainer Might Have Been More Apt

, , , , , | Right | December 21, 2010

Me: “We do have seats available on that flight, but if you were willing to leave an hour later the fare would be $200 less. Would that work for you?”

Elderly Customer: “That’s not a brainer!”

Me: *laughing*

Elderly Customer: “That’s what the kids say, ‘not a brainer.’ I’m going to use it on my grandson to show I’m hip with the kids.”

Me: “I think ‘that’s a no-brainer’ might be more usual.”

Elderly Customer: “You know what else the kids say? ‘Go f*** yourself’!”


This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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Read the Shocking Old People roundup!

I Put A Cell On You

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2010

(I have just finished helping out this really nice, elderly lady.)

Customer: “Oh, and do you happen to know the date?”

Me: “I will just look–”

(I start to pull out my mobile phone.)

Customer: *excitedly* “Ooh! You’re pulling out your little magic box!”

They’re In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2010

Me: “Hello, miss, can I help you?”

Patron: “Yeah, I’ve been searching these shelves for about ten minutes and I can’t find any books on this one guy.”

Me: “Who are you looking for books on?”

Patron: “Oh, I think he’s quite famous! Wait, I know his name.”

Me: “Well, what did he do?”

Patron: “Something to do with the army…”

(The patron pauses for a bit before realizing.)

Patron: “Oh! Darth Vader!”