I was in the supermarket yesterday and saw something so crazy that if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed that someone would be that horrible!

I was waiting in line to pay for my shopping when I saw an older lady following an employee, berating him, as there were no shopping trolleys nearby. It was obviously his job was to collect them from the car park — it was raining really hard so I guess he was waiting a few minutes — and she was actually pulling on his uniform shirt to try and get his undivided attention.

She stopped shouting all of a sudden, turned around, and found a shopping trolley behind her. It was not quite empty — it had a newborn baby in a capsule in the main compartment of the trolley — but the mother’s back was turned. She took the baby out of the trolley, dumped the capsule in the middle of the aisle, and then took the shopping trolley off with her.

I was standing there gobsmacked, but so stunned it took a minute to realise what had actually happened. The mother had turned around to get something and was talking with another employee. She turned back and just about freaked out when she couldn’t place her hand on her trolley! By this time, there were now three employees chasing the older woman down the aisle — including a huge security officer — and she was screaming, “No! It’s mine! I found it!”

The mother calmed down a bit, picked her baby up out of the capsule, and stood there like a deer in the headlights. Honestly… Was it that important to have a trolley that she had to oust a tiny baby out of it?

The kicker was that after being escorted out of the store by the security officer, the lady was carrying only a loaf of bread. Did she really need a trolley for a loaf of bread?! The hardest thing I found to comprehend was that another woman had taken out the baby with no thought for the baby itself, leaving it in the main thoroughfare where anyone could have hit the capsule, and she honestly didn’t think she’d done anything wrong!

(I’m standing in line at the supermarket checkout. In front of me is an elderly woman, and in front of her, checking out, is a young woman. Her purchase includes a couple of boxes of tampons.)

Elderly Woman: “Excuse me, dear? You do know you can buy those at the pharmacy, don’t you?

Young Woman: “Yes, but they’re cheaper here.”

Elderly Woman: “It’s far more discreet to purchase them at the pharmacy. In my day, we were always very discreet about buying anything that had to do with ‘down there.’”

(She waves her hands in the general region of her waist.)

Young Woman: *looking in the elderly woman’s trolley* “Is that so? Then I guess you’ll be putting that toilet paper back on the shelf and purchasing it online, instead?”

(The cashier let out a snort of laughter and then abruptly stopped. I, along with the others in the line, had no such qualms. We all erupted with laughter, and the silly old lady kept her opinions to herself from then on.)

(My older sister is playing with my young brother, who is around six or seven years old. My older sister decides they should race together across the field, so they hold hands and run. Somehow my brother trips very awkwardly and dislocates his shoulder. Since neither my sister or mother know how to set it, they take my brother, crying in pain, to the hospital, where they quickly put it back. However, since my brother is quite young, they need to ascertain, as per usual, whether there is the possibility there has been child abuse. They ask him repeatedly how he hurt his shoulder. He tells them what happened, but somehow they keep pressing the matter, as “I was running and I fell” probably sounds like a dubious answer. They ask him, talk for a bit, and then ask him again. Finally, he gets fed up with the whole thing.)

Medical Staff: “So, tell me again: how did you hurt your arm?”

Brother: “A crocodile bit it!“

(They stopped asking him after that.)

(I’m walking my Labrador dog at a nearby, off-leash dog park. As most people know, Labradors are generally grinning, friendly, food-obsessed goofs. If you want a guard dog, get a German Shepherd or a Doberman, not a loopy Labrador! Anyway, I see a man walking towards us. He doesn’t have a dog, which is a bit strange in an off-leash dog park. I can see my dog is thinking about going up to say hello, and realising that not everyone appreciates strange dogs doing that, I call him. He obeys immediately, never coming within 15 feet of the guy. As the man passes us, I hear him mutter something under his breath.)

Me: “Excuse me? What was that?”

Man: *waiting until he’s a good distance away from me, then shouting* “I said you should have that f****** ugly mutt on a leash!”

Me: “It’s an off-leash dog park!”

Man: *still walking away* “Don’t f*** with me, b****, or I’ll report you and have that f****** dog shot!”

Me: *getting angrier now* “Hey! Come back here and say that to my face! We haven’t done anything wrong! Don’t be a f****** coward!”

(Right at that moment, I hear a calm, deep voice behind me. I turn around and find myself staring up at a very tall policeman. I don’t know where he came from but he clearly heard the whole exchange.)

Cop: “Please wait here, miss. Sir! Sir, please come over here. Yes, sir, you, the one shouting threats. Please approach.”

(The man shuffles back over to us, looking alternately furious and scared.)

Cop: “Thank you. Now, sir, from what I heard, you threatened to report this dog and have it euthanised. Please tell me what happened.”

Man: “It’s not on a leash! It was going to charge me! It could have attacked!”

Cop: *looking down at my Labrador which is now leaning against his leg and slobbering on his trousers* “…this dog?”

Me: “It’s an off-leash dog park! There are signs!”

Cop: “Miss, please calm down. Sir, please take a deep breath and answer my questions carefully. Question one: did this dog physically attack you?”

Man: “No.”

Cop: “Did this dog growl, snap, or bark at you?”

Man: “No.”

Cop: “Did this young woman at any time give her dog a command that you might have interpreted as a sign to attack?”

Man: “No.”

Cop: “So, would you now please clarify what this dog has done that warrants being reported and subsequently euthanised?”

Man: “It was her! She started yelling at me!”

Cop: “I see. So you’re saying she should be reported and euthanised?”

Man: “Uh…”

Cop: “Sir, you are clearly not a dog lover. That’s okay — not everyone is. But I do suggest that for your peace of mind, and your blood pressure, you take your walks somewhere that is not a registered, off-leash dog park. You see, yelling threats like this to someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve them could end badly for you, when all you needed to do is avoid registered dog parks. Okay? Good. Now, let’s all of us carry on with our day. Miss, enjoy the rest of your walk.” *gives my dog a good pat and ruffle on his head and neck* “Good boy. Sir, come along. Let me escort you from the park. There’s a good chance you’ll run into other dogs, otherwise.”

(It worked. We’ve never seen that guy in the dog park since. Lovely Mr. Tall Policeman, if you’re reading this, thank you so much!)

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(My dad goes to get ice cream. At most shops in this area, a normal scoop costs around $2. This shop, however…)

Worker: “Sorry, we don’t have any more ice cream. But we can make sundaes for $7.50.”

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Worker: “Uh…”