Police Work Doesn’t Have To Go To The Dogs

, , , | Legal | July 25, 2018

(I’m walking my Labrador dog at a nearby, off-leash dog park. As most people know, Labradors are generally grinning, friendly, food-obsessed goofs. If you want a guard dog, get a German Shepherd or a Doberman, not a loopy Labrador! Anyway, I see a man walking towards us. He doesn’t have a dog, which is a bit strange in an off-leash dog park. I can see my dog is thinking about going up to say hello, and realising that not everyone appreciates strange dogs doing that, I call him. He obeys immediately, never coming within 15 feet of the guy. As the man passes us, I hear him mutter something under his breath.)

Me: “Excuse me? What was that?”

Man: *waiting until he’s a good distance away from me, then shouting* “I said you should have that f****** ugly mutt on a leash!”

Me: “It’s an off-leash dog park!”

Man: *still walking away* “Don’t f*** with me, b****, or I’ll report you and have that f****** dog shot!”

Me: *getting angrier now* “Hey! Come back here and say that to my face! We haven’t done anything wrong! Don’t be a f****** coward!”

(Right at that moment, I hear a calm, deep voice behind me. I turn around and find myself staring up at a very tall policeman. I don’t know where he came from but he clearly heard the whole exchange.)

Cop: “Please wait here, miss. Sir! Sir, please come over here. Yes, sir, you, the one shouting threats. Please approach.”

(The man shuffles back over to us, looking alternately furious and scared.)

Cop: “Thank you. Now, sir, from what I heard, you threatened to report this dog and have it euthanised. Please tell me what happened.”

Man: “It’s not on a leash! It was going to charge me! It could have attacked!”

Cop: *looking down at my Labrador which is now leaning against his leg and slobbering on his trousers* “…this dog?”

Me: “It’s an off-leash dog park! There are signs!”

Cop: “Miss, please calm down. Sir, please take a deep breath and answer my questions carefully. Question one: did this dog physically attack you?”

Man: “No.”

Cop: “Did this dog growl, snap, or bark at you?”

Man: “No.”

Cop: “Did this young woman at any time give her dog a command that you might have interpreted as a sign to attack?”

Man: “No.”

Cop: “So, would you now please clarify what this dog has done that warrants being reported and subsequently euthanised?”

Man: “It was her! She started yelling at me!

Cop: “I see. So you’re saying she should be reported and euthanised?”

Man: “Uh…”

Cop: “Sir, you are clearly not a dog lover. That’s okay — not everyone is. But I do suggest that for your peace of mind, and your blood pressure, you take your walks somewhere that is not a registered, off-leash dog park. You see, yelling threats like this to someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve them could end badly for you, when all you needed to do is avoid registered dog parks. Okay? Good. Now, let’s all of us carry on with our day. Miss, enjoy the rest of your walk.” *gives my dog a good pat and ruffle on his head and neck* “Good boy. Sir, come along. Let me escort you from the park. There’s a good chance you’ll run into other dogs, otherwise.”

(It worked. We’ve never seen that guy in the dog park since. Lovely Mr. Tall Policeman, if you’re reading this, thank you so much!)

Puts You In A Sun-Daze

, , , | Working | July 24, 2018

(My dad goes to get ice cream. At most shops in this area, a normal scoop costs around $2. This shop, however…)

Worker: “Sorry, we don’t have any more ice cream. But we can make sundaes for $7.50.”

Dad: *pause* “If you have no ice cream, what do you make the sundaes with?”

Worker: “Uh…”

Éclair Unfair

, , , | Right | July 24, 2018

(I work in a bakery. A woman has come up to the counter and is being served by my coworker. I am waiting at our second till for our next customer. We don’t have a scanner; we enter the prices manually on the till.)

Customer: “Hi there! Can I get this—” *a filled roll* “and a chocolate éclair, please?”

Coworker: “Certainly. That comes to [amount].”

Customer: “That’s wrong.”

(My coworker, confused, cancels the order and rings it up again. It’s the same price. She explains the prices of each item to the woman.)

Customer: “No, that’s wrong. The éclair is [amount].”

Coworker: “We’ve recently increased our prices. They are now [higher amount].”

(I realise that she is a customer I’ve had before. Another coworker had a similar argument with her, and our boss unofficially changed that price back to get rid of her.)

Customer: *to me* “Do you recognise me?”

Me: *shaking my head* “We get a lot of customers walking through those doors.”

(I turn to serve another customer, and my coworker walks out to the front of the shop and shows the woman the sign for the éclairs. She pays the full amount.)

Coworker: *to me* “She said she wasn’t impressed with your attitude.”

Me: “Attitude? I told her the truth. I didn’t recognise her.”

(Haven’t heard from her since.)

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Unfiltered Story #117413

, | Unfiltered | July 23, 2018

I work as a waitress at a popular restaurant. One day a family comes in consisting of a father, a mother, an cute older son my age, and a younger boy. It’s the parents anniversary. The younger boy gets really excited and talks a little loud, but not disruptively, and flaps his arms about. The arms flapping is what drew my attention.

They take their seats and look over the menu. That is until the woman having dinner with her daughter and daughter’s fiancée beside them decides to speak.

Woman: Is there something wrong with your son?

Mother: (taken aback) He’s autistic.

Woman: What did you bring him in here for? I came to have a nice evening with my family and now I have to listen to your screaming kid.

Young son: (confused) I’m not screaming.

Woman: Am I talking to you?! No, shut up.

Father: That was uncalled for. He hasn’t done anything wrong.

Woman: (glares) Yet.

I went to find the senior staff member, but she had a family emergency and had to leave, so I spoke to security and told them I was going to intervene. A few patrons intercept me on my way and complain about the woman being too loud.

Me: (Walks over to the two tables) Is everything alright.

Woman: Finally, some help. I want this family removed. Their autistic (slur) has been screaming while I’m trying to eat. It is very distracting and annoying.

Another important note is that I’m autistic as well, and I notice she is waving her hands about and avoiding eye contact.

Me: Are you aware that avoiding eye contact is a sign of autism?

Woman: What?! I’m not autistic.

Me: It’s also a sign of lying.

Woman: And blindness.

Me: I served your table and you read the menu perfectly fine. Other common autistic traits are flapping, and talking loudly. Both of which you were doing.

Woman: (Stands up an shouts) I am not autistic! Autistic (slur)s are demon children. They’re all going to hell. I am a good Christian woman. The demons can’t make me autistic.

Me: One, that’s not who it works. Two, so, you hate those with autism?

Woman: Obviously.

Me: He who does not love does not know God because God is love.

Woman: Love what is good and hate what is bad.

Me: Love thy neighbour. Love thy enemy. He who has not sinned my throw the first stone. Even Jesus loved those and healed those actively possessed but demons. He even healed the ear of a man who would be involved in his death, and that man had nothing wrong with him. Now, you’re telling me this little boy is going to hell for something he can’t change.

Woman: God can heal him.

Pastor (he was sitting listening): When Job was sick and lost everything, he prayed for help from God. But, God didn’t intervene because he was allowing Satan to test him. He had leprosy. Perhaps God is testing this family and your words are certainly not making it any easier. Also, that kid has behaved very kindly and good this evening, two fruitages of the spirit, while you have been very hateful and angry.

Woman: Well, I… They’re not even Christian.

Me: And, your example will make them convert, how?

The woman screams in a huff and marches out, leaving her daughter and fiancée.

Me: (To the family) I’m sorry for that.

Mother: It’s not your fault. That isn’t an uncommon thing.

Me: If it is of any condolence, I’m autistic as well.

She started crying and the daughter of the woman decided to pay their bill. The pastor also spoke to me and said he would have intervened earlier, but I beat him to it. And, he was impressed. Guess who else turned out to be autistic! The older son! We’re getting married!

The Rains Of Karma

, , , , | Right | July 10, 2018

(I am employed as a baggage handler at a small bus stop for interregional buses. There is a two-hour stop for one of the more popular routes. Customers can leave as many bags as they want with me for $2, so they can get something to eat and explore the town while waiting for their bus. On this particular day it is pouring with rain. The customer throws his two large duffel bags at me and starts to walk away.)

Me: “Excuse me; it’s $2 to store your bags.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “If you don’t pay, I’ll have to leave your bags outside, and it’s raining quite heavily today.”

Customer: “You listen to me. This service should be part of my bus fare, and I am not giving you a single cent. My bags had better be with you when I return, or you’re not going to like what happens next.”

(He then stormed off, ignoring my warning. I picked up his bags and took them outside, The bus station was well-known for not having any outside shelter, so I left his bags where no one would trip over them, but still in the rain. He wound up coming back just when his bus was about to leave, and saw his bags sitting outside. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but couldn’t risk missing his bus. He picked up his bags and it was like a waterfall with all the water coming out if them. I never heard from him again. Thing is, if he had polite, I would have stored his bags for free, given how bad the weather was.)

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