Enveloping An Attitude

, , , | Right | December 20, 2017

(I work part-time in a retail store. We are primarily a book store but also sell stationery, magazines and cards. At the moment we have a display of boxed Christmas cards at the front of the store.)

Customer: “Do you have any Christmas cards that will fit this envelope?” *holds up a bunch of very thin, very long envelopes*

Me: “We might do! Have a look around and see what we have.”

(The customer is looking at the cards on display and clearly didn’t hear me.)

Customer: *a moment later, already with attitude* “Well, do you?”

Me: *repeats, still cheerfully* “Yeah, we might do!”

Customer: *quite aggressively* “No I want you to come and HELP me find one.”

(I was just about to cash up one of the tills as it’s near closing.)

Me: “Oh, okay, sure.” *I walk around the counter and approach her* “May I have a look at the envelope size you have there?”

Customer: *hands me one of them* “See, because they’re all pre-paid for and I’ve written on them already.”

Me: “Okay, I see.” *I start comparing the envelope in my hand to cards in the boxed packs she’s looking at* “These ones here look like they might fit?”

Customer: “No, you have to take it out of the box to see for sure.”

(It sounds like a mild suggestion to me. I don’t oblige because we typically don’t open packaging unless they’re going to buy it. Sometimes we do make exceptions but these boxed packs of cards aren’t a simple open and close. I keep comparing the card sizes inside the boxes.)

Customer: “What about these ones? These are nice.” *hands me a pack*

Me: *checking* “Yeah, they look like they’d be a good fit!”

Customer: *snaps* “No, you have to take it out and LOOK!”

(I’m surprised, not really sure what to say for a moment because, again, we don’t typically do that. I open my mouth to speak… but apparently too late.)

Customer: *practically yelling now* “Look, if you don’t WANT to help me, I’ll just go somewhere else!” *snatches the envelope from my hand and storms off*

(I just let her go with a very bewildered “Okay…?” Who wants to serve a customer like that, anyway?)

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Last Flight To Mordor Now Departing From Gate Bree

, , , , , | Friendly | December 18, 2017

(The other day I was driving in my car, listening to an interview on the radio. The interviewer was talking to a singer who was coming to perform in New Zealand. I can’t remember who she was, but I will never forget the interview:)

Singer: “Now, who am I talking to here? Is this Australia or New Zealand?”

Radio Host: “You’re talking to New Zealand, and we’re looking forward to you coming out here!”

Singer: “New Zealand! Oh, my. I can’t wait to visit. I have never been before, and I won’t have much time, but I’m determined to see an orc.”

Radio Host: “A… I’m sorry, an orc?”

Singer: “Obviously it would have to be in captivity. I wouldn’t want to run across one in the wild!”

Radio Host: *playing along* “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but orcs are extinct.”

Singer: “Awww, really? That’s so disappointing! You don’t have any, not even in captivity?”

Radio Host: “No, we wiped them out. They weren’t very nice. Sorry.”

Singer: “Well, that’s a shame. Can you still visit parts of Middle Earth?”

Radio Host: “That you can do. Make sure you include Hobbiton on your tour!”

(After that, the host changed the subject to the singer’s latest album. But she was so sincere about the orcs, and sounded so truly disappointed to find out she would not be able to see one, that I’m not sure to this day whether she was kidding or not!)

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Your Irony Is Going Up In Smoke

, , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(We are coming up to Guy Fawkes Night, which many people celebrate with fireworks.)

Colleague: “I don’t believe in fireworks. You’re just setting fire to $20 and watching it go up in smoke.”

Me: “A perfectly reasonable reaction, except that you’re a pack-a-day smoker.”

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Unfiltered Story #101671

, | Unfiltered | December 17, 2017

I work in the housekeeping of a luxury hotel and at the time we are housing a famous athlete, who’s room happens to be in the corridor I clean in. We offer a laundry service within the hotel that the guest has to call and arrange for.

Booming man voice, to no one in particular: “WHY WASN’T MY LAUNDRY TAKEN????”

I come out of the room I was cleaning to see the famous athlete standing in his doorway.

Me: “How can I help sir?”
Famous athlete: “Why wasn’t my laundry taken this morning?!”
Me: “Sir did you call the operator before you left your room this morning?”
Famous athlete: “ITS THE 9 O CLOCK LAUNDRY SERVICE!!!!”
Me: “I’ll find out what’s happened for you sir…”

I go back into the room I was cleaning and call down to my department’s office.

Me: “The guest in room [room number] wants to know why his laundry wasn’t taken this morning… he seems uh, rather upset”

Five minutes later I hear the laundry service knock on his door… Apparently he had not read the big bold instructions at the very top of the laundry form that states you must call the operator before 9am to have your laundry picked up.

For some reason he assumed the hotel would know he had laundry that needed to be taken on that day?

Should Have Just Eggspected That

, , , , | Right | December 13, 2017

(I work in a takeaway that sells fish and chips, burgers, and Chinese food, which is not unusual in New Zealand. While most phone orders get through fine, sometimes the caller is difficult to hear due to the burners and fans in the kitchen, which means I repeat the item as they order, and the whole order again at the end to minimise errors.)

Caller: “…and a bacon—” *unintelligible*

Me: “…and a bacon and egg burger?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s all.”

Me: *finishing repeating the whole order* “…and a bacon and egg burger.”

Caller: “Yes, that’s right. Put it under the name [Customer].”

(Later, the caller’s son comes back to pick the order up.)

Me: *finishing repeating the order to ensure it’s the one he’s after* “…and a bacon and egg burger.”

Customer: *really doesn’t know what’s going on* “Yeah, whatever; if it’s under [Customer], that’s the one.”

(He pays and leaves. Later I get a call from the mother over an incorrect order. She sounds very upset and rants for a little while.)

Caller: “You gave me the wrong item; I wanted a BACON EGG FOO YOUNG.”

Me: “I apologise for my mistake; I seem to have misheard you. Did you want to come back and pick up the egg foo young, or would you like us to take down your details so you can receive a free one on your next order?”

Caller: “Well, what I have isn’t enough, so I’m going to have to send someone to pick it up.”

Me: “All right. Sorry again for my mistake.”

(The son returns to pick it up. He’s not very polite about it despite my best efforts to apologise yet again, even though it was a communication error, and partly their fault for not clarifying the order with each other to save time going back to get the correct dish. Some weeks later, I get the same order by the same caller. The son comes to pick it up again.)

Me: *finishing repeating the whole order* “…and a bacon EGG FOO YOUNG.”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever, as long as it’s under [Customer]. Better get it right this time because you messed it up last time.”

Me: *screaming internally* “Sorry about that.”

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