Unfiltered Story #124585

, | Unfiltered | October 29, 2018

I’m working as the cashier. A woman comes up with a pair of men’s patterned pyjama pants. We have a policy called “love your customer” – whatever they say a price actually is, we have to believe them and change it, even if we know they’re wrong. Her PJ pants scan up as $20.
Her: oh no, they were on special for 12.98
Me: (knows she’s wrong.) Okay. *changes price*
Her: wait … you’re actually changing it?
me: yes, if you say that the others were 12.98 i will change this one
She fumbles as she goes to swipe her card then puts her hands on the counter and breathes heavily.
Her: no I’m sorry, they were 20 bucks, forget it.
me: … okay.

Unfiltered Story #124507

, | Unfiltered | October 26, 2018

I sell big ticket items in a small in town so deal with quite a few people daily most aren’t particularly memorable but this guy was. I’d spent about 15 minutes discussing furniture, TVs and beds with this guy and near the end of the conversation he said he also wanted a bed for the spare room. I pointed out some of the beds on clearance and (since he had a sense of humour) I advised him that maybe he didn’t want a very comfortable bed for the spare room as.. then he broke in – otherwise the f***** c***s will never leave. He then advised that he had to go as it was 2 hours till low tide and he had some fishing to do.

You’re Being Pun-ished

, , , | Romantic | October 23, 2018

(Every weekday, my partner and I drive home from work together. I tend to get out and check the mail, as our mailbox isn’t that waterproof. This occurs on a rather rainy day, when I’ve just bragged about winning a pun war with some friends.)

Me: “I have another one! What kind of tree does a scientist grow? A chemis-tree!” *bursts out laughing*

Partner: “Wow, that’s pretty bad.”

(We pull up to the driveway.)

Partner: “Hey, are you going to get out today?”

Me: “It’s raining, so I—”

Partner: “Because you should.”

Me: “Too many puns?”

Partner: “Out.”

Me: “Aw, man.”

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This Child Is Going Places

, , | Friendly | October 19, 2018

(For Mothers’ Day, the children are doing a craft for a woman in their lives: homemade body scrub. It is just sugar, cooking oil, and a little food colouring, in a glass jar with a bit of waxed paper and a ribbon. Of course, the intent is that the children will take them home and present them to a mum, nana, auntie, etc. At the end of church, I have virtually the same conversation with three or four of my son’s friends, ages four to six.)

Child: “Look what I made!”

Me: “Oh, wow! That’s so cool! What are you going to do with it?”

Child: “EAT IT!”

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Playing A Game Of Political Chairs

, , , , , | Romantic | October 13, 2018

(Australia’s frequent changing of Prime Ministers has become a running joke both there and in New Zealand, and they’ve just got a new one again. I’m getting ready for bed when I knock a stuffed koala off a shelf.)

Me: “Meh, I’ll just replace it. Isn’t that what the Australians do, just replace things?”

Girlfriend: “I’m going to get this for a whole month, aren’t I?”

Me: “Month? By the time that’s over, they will have gotten a new one again.”

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