This occurs shortly after I place an item up for sale on a well-known auction website.
Customer: “Would you take a ‘best offer’?”
In other words, the person wanted to haggle. The item in question cost $3, and this was one of many auctions from which all the proceeds would be donated.
We get a walk-in customer.
Customer: “We want the large one-topping pizza for $6.”
Me: “Awesome! What topping would you like on that?”
Customer: “Mushroom and pepper.”
Me: “Which peppers would you like? Jalapeño, banana, or green? And just so you know, it will be a little extra for the second topping.”
Customer: “Okay, yeah, we want the one for $10. And jalapeños aren’t spicy, right?”
Me: “Jalapeños are spicy, actually.”
Customer: “Okay, green peppers and mushrooms, then. For $10.”
Me: “Okay, that will actually only be about $8.”
Customer: “Okay, and bacon.”
Me: “Okay. So, a large mushroom, green pepper, and bacon?”
Customer: “Yes.”
I ring it through and cash them out.
Me: “I’ll have that ready for you in about ten minutes.”
Customer: “Is the hot sauce spicy?”
Me: “A little, why?”
Customer: “Only put the hot sauce on half the pizza, then.”
Me: *Confused* “You didn’t order anything with hot sauce on it.”
Customer: “The chicken! The chicken pizza with the hot sauce!”
Me: “Oh, did you want to order another pizza with that on it?”
Customer: “No, no… On the pizza. The chicken… hot sauce on half.”
Me: “You didn’t order anything with chicken on it… or hot sauce.”
Customer: “The pizza! With the chicken! Only put hot sauce on half!”
Me: “You didn’t order anything with chicken. You have a large with mushroom, green pepper, and bacon.”
Customer: “No! Chicken… mushroom… banana pepper.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll change that for you. And hot sauce on half?”
Customer: *Exasperated* “Yes!”
My girlfriend is a bit childish — not as in being immature and acting spoiled, but she likes some things popular with kids and is easily excited.
We’re shopping for shoes we need for our jobs when she spots a huge teddy bear all the way at the other end of the store in the toy section. She races to it like the Roadrunner. It’s blue and purple, and covered in glitter, and I can tell from her huge smile it’s going home with her. She grabs it and carries around instead of putting it in the cart.
We already have our shoes, so we get in line. The line is long, so she talks to me all about the bear — what she’s going to name it, where she’ll put it, hugging it, and going on about how adorable it is. Lots of the other customers are chatting in line, too, so I’m certain we aren’t disturbing anyone until:
Customer Behind Us: “Shut the h*** up!”
The customer is loud enough to draw the whole line’s attention and quiet them.
Customer: “Shut up! Is she f****** mental?!”
Cashier: “Sir, is there a problem?”
Customer: “This d*** girl sounds like a f****** five-year-old! My God, shut the f*** up! No one cares about your f****** toy! It’s for children, not slow people! Are your kids slow like you?”
I realize a total stranger has no way of knowing, but my girlfriend had cancer as a teenager that made her infertile. She didn’t know as a teen if she wanted kids or not, but it’s taken years of therapy for her to not feel she’s “broken” because she couldn’t have them if she wanted.
Honestly, I want to knock this customer’s teeth out for all of his comments.
Me: “Mind your business! She’s my girlfriend. I like to see her happy, and she can buy whatever she wants. It’s her money.”
This guy kept arguing and insulting my girlfriend, me, and eventually the line of people, who I guess he was mad at for not being on his side. One of the cashiers called for a manager, who asked the nasty customer to leave.
He tried to spin it that we instigated the scene, but some of the other people in line backed us up. The guy argued with the manager for a bit before finally leaving, and the manager apologized to us for the experience.
My girlfriend was quiet for the rest of the time in line, but she smiled when the cashier who checked us out gave her a lollipop.
I am a hostess at a popular restaurant. We are going on an hour-long wait, and a gentleman with his five other guests is getting irritated because we are seating parties of two before him. He comes running up to the host stand.
Customer: “Listen, I called ahead twenty minutes ago and I have been here for almost an hour!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as you can see, we are on an hour-long wait. By calling ahead, you got your name toward the top of the list, but we physically do not have any tables that seat your large party. I can get a manager for you, if you’d like.”
Customer: “I have been waiting for an hour. I made reservations; I should have a table.”
Me: “Sir, you called ahead.”
He started yelling and I got my manager to calm him down.
I’m selling tickets at the box office one night. A family film has just opened, so naturally, we have multiple showtimes for the movie in different theater rooms throughout the day, including a 12:30 and a 1:30 showtime. A group arrives at noon: two grandparents and their two grandchildren.
Grandfather: “Four tickets for [Movie].”
Me: “Sure thing. Were you looking for the next showtime in a half-hour at 12:30?”
Grandfather: “Um… okay.”
Me: “All righty.”
I sell them their tickets and proceed to the next customer. About ninety minutes later, I’m wandering toward the back door to run outside and take a quick smoke break, and I see the family sitting at a bench outside of their auditorium. Confused, as their movie started over an hour ago, I approach them.
Me: “Hey, is everything okay?”
Grandfather: “No, it certainly is not! I wanted the 1:30 movie, but there’s still a movie playing in the theater, and it’s almost 1:30! This is the theater on the tickets you gave me! So why is the previous movie still playing?!”
Me: “Um, sir. The 1:30 movie isn’t playing in that theater. That’s the theater that the 12:30 movie is playing in. That’s the one I sold you tickets for.”
Grandmother: “What? That doesn’t make any sense!”
Grandfather: “Yeah! What does that even mean?”
Me: “We have the same movie playing in multiple theaters. You bought tickets to the 12:30 showtime, which is in that theater. The 1:30 theater is playing down the hall in a different room.”
Grandmother: “Ugh! Why would we have bought tickets to the wrong theater?! That doesn’t make any sense!”
Grandfather: “I said I wanted the 1:30 showtime! Not some non-existent 12:30 showtime!”
Me: “I asked if you wanted the showtime for 12:30.”
Grandfather: “Yeah! But I wanted the 1:30!”
Me: “But you said you would take tickets to the 12:30 when I asked you.”
Grandfather: “But how can you sell me tickets to the 12:30 when I wanted the 1:30?!”
Me: *Pause* “Because I asked if you wanted tickets to the 12:30 showtime and you said ‘okay’?”
Grandfather: “But I didn’t even know you had some ‘supposed’ 12:30 show! I wanted the 1:30!”
Grandmother: “The sheer f****** incompetence of you people! We wanted the 1:30!”
Grandfather: “This is ridiculous! How can you have a 12:30 and a 1:30?!”
Me: *Another pause* “Because, as I said, we have the same movie playing in multiple theaters.”
Grandmother: “But that doesn’t make any sense!”
Grandfather: “What does that mean?! WHAT DOES THAT F****** MEAN?!”
I am becoming increasingly confused.
Me: “It means the movie is popular and we have it playing in multiple theaters?”
Grandfather: “So why did you sell me tickets to the wrong time? I didn’t want a fake 12:30 time!”
Me: “Sir, we have both a 12:30 and a 1:30 showtime in different rooms. I asked if you wanted the 12:30, and you said okay.”
Grandfather: *Bellowing* “BUT I WANTED THE 1:30! NOT A FAKE 12:30!”
Me: “But, sir… I asked if you wanted the 12:30, which I can guarantee is not a fake showtime, and you said yes.”
Grandfather: “BUT THIS IS NOT THE 1:30 I WANTED!”
Me: “Sir, if you want to follow me to the box office, I can change the tickets for you.”
Grandfather: “BUT MY TICKETS SAY IT’S IN THIS THEATER!”
Me: “Right… and that’s the theater that the 12:30 showtime was in.”
Grandfather: “BUT THE 12:30 SHOWTIME IS A FAKE!”
This continued on and on for several minutes, with the grandparents continuing to say that the 12:30 showtime that they themselves bought tickets for was “fake,” that they wanted the 1:30, and that we purposely sold them the wrong showtime, etc. And they ended up refusing to simply switch their tickets to the 1:30 for a good, long while. Eventually, they relented and finally switched their tickets, but they made sure to vocally complain about us selling “fake” showtimes the entire time.
