Nintendos Before Hoes

, , , , | Romantic | September 29, 2018

(My friend is over for a night of video games and “bro time” when his girlfriend tries to video chat with him. Because he is playing the game, he doesn’t answer. This does not go over well with her; she calls repeatedly until he picks up. He puts the phone in his lap so he can keep playing.)

Girlfriend: “What the f*** are you doing that you can’t answer your phone?”

Friend: “I’m playing a video game.”

Girlfriend: “Where? Where are you right now? I got home and the apartment was empty!”

Friend: “I’m at [My Name]’s house.”

Girlfriend: “I don’t recall you telling me you were going there. Are there girls there?”

Friend: “Well… I did. And no. Look. I’ll be home later.”

Girlfriend: “No, you need to come home now.”

Friend: “Why?”

Girlfriend: “There’s dishes and laundry to be done, and I haven’t seen you all day. You can’t just run off and play video games whenever you want. You have responsibilities! Are your friends more important than me?”

Friend: “No, I’m just hanging out with some guys. I’ll help clean when I get home tonight.”

Girlfriend: “You know what? Don’t bother coming home!”

(He hangs up and keeps playing the game like nothing happened.)

Me: “Uh, don’t you want to… fix that?”

Friend: “She’s always saying crazy s*** like that. She doesn’t mean it. If I didn’t come home, she’d probably b**** about that, too.”

(They broke up shortly thereafter because she made the same threat and he didn’t come home “on time.” She locked him out of the apartment and threw all his things out the window. He’s crashing on my couch right now. She still calls every now and then, and yes, she’s still crazy.)

Unfiltered Story #122216

, , | Unfiltered | September 29, 2018

Just came across this website so this story is kinda late. Anyhow over the summer I worked at a local amusement park. It’s very small, barely a mile wide or long but it has a nice family feel to it. I was working at a single person stand that sold only snack foods and popsicles but there are other stands very close to where I am as well.

Customer: “Hello can I have an ice cream cone please?”

(I get this quite often because people don’t read the menu they just see the freezer and the images of the popsicles)

Me: “I’m sorry sir this stand doesn’t sell ice cream. However the stand right next to me (I literally could do a cart wheel and land next to it) sells soft ice cream. If you look to your left there is a stand with a giant ice cream cone indicating they have regular ice cream there.”

Customer: (insert hints of sarcasm and disdain) “How convenient.” *shakes his head and walks to the other stand)

Me: *Stands there and tries to think of any excuse for why this might be inconvenient but can’t come up with one except that we don’t provide customers with a throne and four burly men to carry them around. Complimentary of course.

Going Down In History As A Bad Customer

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2018

(I am working a cashier shift. A customer with a rather large order enters my line. He seems a bit disgruntled; however, we are encouraged to talk with our customers, and he has a fairly long order, so I try to initiate conversation.)

Me: “Hello! How are you—”

Customer: *sighs* “I’m sorry. No offense to you, but your generation is so uneducated.”

(Normally I would just nod along and finish the order, but the order is quite substantial and he will be there for a few minutes, so for some reason I decide to humor him.)

Me: “Oh? How so? If you don’t mind me asking…”

Customer: “Well, you guys don’t know anything important! You guys don’t know anything about history!”

(Little does he know, I study history in my free time, for fun, so I think this could be amusing.)

Me: “You think so?”

Customer: “Yeah! I mean, look. Do you know anything about December 7th, 1941?”

Me: “Pearl Harbor.”

Customer: “Oh, well, yeah, but how about June 12th, 1944?”

Me: “Um… are you talking about D-Day?”

(He got the date wrong.)

Customer: “Yeah, well, you know anything about the Black Panthers?!”

Me: “Yeah, the civil rights group.”

Customer: “Yeah! You know! Kill all the whities?!”

Me: “Um… Not exactly.”

(This went on for another minute before I finished the order. I answered all of his questions, minus one about the Korean War, as politely as possible. By the time the order finished he wouldn’t say a word; he just paid me and walked off. The employee on the register next to me started laughing. We later told our manager what happened, who then proceeded to high-five me.)

Not A Speck Of Irony

, , , | Right | September 26, 2018

(I am working as a pastry line cook at a relatively high-end restaurant. I get a lot of strange tickets for the lunch crowd, usually from entitled, rich people. One day, I receive a ticket for our apple tart, with no cinnamon. As the tart comes with cinnamon ice cream, I assume there is supposed to be a sub note. I call the server.)

Me: “Hey, [Server], I can replace the cinnamon ice cream, but I need to know what they want instead.”

Server: “Sure thing. Give me a sec.”

(The server promptly rings in another ticket for cinnamon ice cream sub chocolate ice cream. I send the subbed dessert out. Thirty seconds later, it comes back into the kitchen.)

Me: “Hey, what happened? I just sent that out!”

Server: “Apparently, she meant no cinnamon at all. She wants you to remove the specks of cinnamon.”

Me: “And you came back here honestly expecting me to break out tweezers to comply?”

Server: “Well…”

Me: “Go find a manager. I’m not being paid enough to deal with this level of petty.”

Server: “Wait, so you’re not going to fix this? What am I supposed to tell her?”

Me: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

Unfiltered Story #122133

, , | Unfiltered | September 26, 2018

I’m the idiot customer in this story. To my defense, I’m home sick when answering a phone call to reset a lost password for international online banking at <my bank>:
Me: *enters <mutual funds URL>* “Nope, the password is denied even when I turn off all my browser add-ons! Do you think it’s my overseas IP address?”
[I am escalated to a level 2 support tech. A laptop reboot later:]
Tech: “Ma’am, I am watching the login, and I don’t see any denial or wrong password message. Let’s go over the account again.”
[Several fruitless attempts with <mutual funds URL> later:]
Me: “Ah… say… am I logging in at the right place? Is <mutual funds URL> even right?”
Tech: *pause*  “Ah… it should be <my bank URL>.”
*sound of hand hitting my forehead*
Me: “Argh! I’m an idiot! I’m trying to log into <mutual funds URL> all the time! My issue there is a totally different one!”
Tech: *polite chuckle* “Let’s try again. Be sure to reset your temp password right away.”
[She walks me through the entire process of login, password change, getting tax documents etc.]
Me: “Have you ever heard of notalwaysright.com? I think I belong there now.”
[Tech erupts into brief giggling.]
Tech: “It happens to the best, Ma’am! I’m glad it works now!”
[We wrap things up, I thank her, and start printing my urgently needed documents, slightly ashamed of my stupidity.]

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