Projecting Her Problems Into The Movie Theater

, , , | Right | November 19, 2018

(A projector has broken down. Everyone is being very cool about it, as we are offering free passes to anyone who is inconvenienced by the matter, but the uncommonly understanding nature of the people worries me since I know it’ll come back to bite me later on. At about 9:00 pm, we have to cancel a screening of a family film at 10:45 pm, as a result, to make room for another film that’s just opened and proving to be an unexpectedly huge hit, but as it’s a school night we don’t worry, since no tickets are sold. As soon as 10:45 hits, a sudden massive group enters, with a very frazzled-looking woman and about a dozen children who range between five and ten years old.)

Customer: “I need tickets for [Family Film].”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but there was an issue with the projector, and it requires a replacement part, so we actually had to cancel that show time. If you’d like, our managers are offering passes for people whose shows had to be canceled, so you could come to another show time for free.”

Customer: *instantly bursting into a fit* “Are you f****** kidding me? I just drove two hours to get here! I have all my friends’ kids, you p***k! I can’t believe this! This happens every time I come! Every f****** week! You are just doing this to f*** with me!”

(Please note, it’s been well over a year since something like this has happened. Definitely not “every bleeping week.”)

Me: “I’m really sorry. If you’d like, you could go to the manager’s desk to get free passes.”

Customer: “You’re such an incompetent f****** jerk! What? Are you too stupid to do your job?! How f****** hard can it be to fix a projector?”

(The part of the massive, near car-sized, cinema-quality projector that has broken down costs well over $5,000 to replace and requires either a specialist or at very least someone who is overly familiar with the projectors to fix. It’s not just replacing a bulb or something relatively simple like that.)

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. Please go to the manager’s desk, as I unfortunately really can’t do much.”

Customer: “I want your f****** name! I hope you like the streets, boy! Because that’s where you’ll be sleeping! I’ll have your f****** job! Here you are, embarrassing me not only in front of my kids, but everyone’s kids! F****** worthless piece of s***!”

Me: “Please go to the manager’s desk.”

(She did not. She stood there berating me for nearly five minutes and repeatedly bringing up our website on her phone to show that we had a scheduled show time as some form of “proof,” even though I’d repeatedly told her we’d had to cancel the show time. She then went to get a manager and tried for nearly twenty minutes to get me fired, and eventually made her way out with not only the passes, but popcorn and drink vouchers that our managers gave her just to shut her up. Everyone for the rest of the night pointed out the irony of her saying we “embarrassed” her when she allegedly drove a group of schoolchildren two hours, ensuring they wouldn’t be home till at least 2:30 am on a SCHOOL NIGHT, and began to swear and threaten to have an employee fired over something he had absolutely no control over.)

Unfiltered Story #127505

, , , | Unfiltered | November 18, 2018

I was with my friend at a little cafe. A man, in his sixties, is sitting close to us, his back facing us. He keeps turning his head to look at us, with a weird look on his face. As I get up to go to the bathroom, I see something I wasn’t prepared to: the same old man… Masturbating. Me and my friend quickly ran outside and called the police.

Your Dignity Is Not Worth Her Dollar

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2018

(We’ve just gotten special limited edition promotional tubs which cost $1 more than our standard large popcorn. I’m helping a man and his girlfriend who are buying a large popcorn.)

Customer: “How much more would it be to get one of the tubs?”

Me: “They’re one dollar more than the standard large popcorn.”

Customer: “How much more do you get?”

Me: “They’re basically the same size as our regular large popcorn; they’re just a limited edition promotional item supplied to us by [Film Studio].”

Customer: “Bah, no thanks. Not worth it.”

(He wanders away. A few minutes later, his girlfriend walks back.)

Customer’s Girlfriend: *trying to hand me a dollar* “Gimme one of the tubs.”

Me: “Sure thing, that’ll be [total that’s significantly more than $1].”

(She doesn’t say a word and just walks away. About ten minutes later, she comes back.)

Customer’s Girlfriend: *trying again to hand me a dollar; fuming* “I’m giving you a dollar. Give me one of the tubs. I don’t know how you idiots go from $1 for the tub to that ridiculous price you told me before, but I’m only giving you a dollar. Give me the d*** tub.”

Me: “I’m sorry if there’s been any confusion, ma’am. The tubs were never $1.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: *turning bright red* “My boyfriend said the tubs were $1.”

Me: “Oh, I understand. They’re not $1. They’re $1 more than the large popcorn he bought.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “So here’s your $1. Give me a tub of popcorn.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but he already bought a large popcorn. I can’t give you a tub for $1.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “So?”

Me: “So I’d have to charge you the full price if you wanted a tub of popcorn.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: *scoffs, sarcastic sigh* “What stupid logic did you have to follow to get that idea?”

Me: “Because he already purchased a large popcorn?”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “So?!”

Me: “I can’t sell a full-priced tub for only $1.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “But you said it was only $1!”

Me: “Ma’am, I said it was $1 more than the large popcorn he was buying when he asked me how much more it cost.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “I don’t care!”

(This goes on for some time. She doesn’t understand that I can’t just give her a promotional item — from a studio that’s know to be very controlling and micro-manages how their products are handled in theaters, no less — that costs nearly $10 for $1, and she seems to think that the fact they bought a large popcorn means they can get a second full-priced popcorn for only $1. She eventually storms off, only for her boyfriend to return a few minutes later.)

Customer: *seeming sad and defeated* “Uh, sorry about that. If I buy a tub, and she says anything, can you just say you gave in and only charged me a dollar? She’s not gonna shut up until she thinks she’s ‘won.’”

Me: “Sure.”

(He paid the full price, but thankfully I was on break when their theater let out. From what I gather, she actually laughed at the concession staff on duty, being sure to make eye contact with each one while she did it. Thank god I haven’t seen them again. Poor guy.)

They’re Harping On About Your Guitar String

, , , , , | Working | November 16, 2018

My cousin is 17 and has been home alone for an entire month while her parents are on a trip. Though family often visit, she’s by herself every night.

There have been several reports by a neighbour about someone playing guitar too loud at night. My cousin has heard it, too, but a security guard often comes up the next day to tell her to stop, even though she says it wasn’t her.

One night, when the playing starts, she goes downstairs to the guard so they can see it isn’t her. He, however, refuses to go up and investigate ASAP. The next day, a different guard comes up to my cousin to tell her to stop again!

This time my cousin proudly sticks all ten of her one-and-a-half-inch, brightly-colored, real fingernails in the guard’s face and asks if the guard really thinks she is the one playing.

That finally gets an investigation, and the guard check every apartment nearby and find other neighbours that heard it but never reported it. Apparently, the issue was also with the first neighbour, who reported the sound coming from the wrong direction.

Puppies Prove So Adorable That Even Those Allergic Cannot Stay Away

, , , , | Related | November 15, 2018

(I am working in the jewelry section. A mother and her four-year-old daughter come looking for earrings for the daughter. I show them where the children’s earrings are.)

Mom: “So, which earrings do you like?”

Daughter: “I like those.” *points to a silver pair of puppy earrings*

Mom: “I’m sorry, hunny, but you can’t have those. You’re allergic to silver.”

Daughter: “But Mom, I’m not allergic to puppies!”

(The mom and I laughed. The daughter ended up buying a gold pair of star earrings.)

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