You’re A Dog, You Like Socks, And Paying Off Your Student Loans

, , , , | | Legal | June 3, 2018

(I am sitting at home, enjoying my day off when an out of state area code phone number calls my home phone. Upon answering, I am greeted with an automated greeting letting me know that this is “Amanda” and that my student loans are in danger of going into default even though they have been cleared for years now. Knowing it’s a scam, I pull up my music library on my cell phone and pick a song to play by the comedy metal band “Psychostick.” I press the number for a “representative” and wait for them to answer.)

Telescammer: *in obvious non-English accent* “Hello, this is [Bogus Student Loan Office]; my name is Mary. May I have your—”

Psychostick: “I’m a dog and I like socks! I like socks! I’m a dog! I’m a dog and I like socks! I like socks! I’m a dog! GIMME THAT SOCK! OM NOM NOM! GIMME THAT—”

Telescammer: *click*

(Haven’t heard from them since.)

Unfiltered Story #113824

, , | | Unfiltered | June 1, 2018

One day when I worked at a luxury lingerie store I had 2 Russian women come in, they tried on all the same things, in the same room. A few minutes later a Russian man came in and asked for the women. I directed him to them. They all spend a while in the room whispering in Russian and giggling every time I went to check on them. Finally the women leave shooting me a strange look and still whispering in Russian, and the man follows behind shortly, carrying 2 of several items to the register.
I ring him up, carefully package the items and hand him the bag. He just stared at me a moment then flipped over his receipt and hands me my pen and says:
‘Write your number down here. I’ll call you’.
Me: ‘Sir thank you, but I don’t think my boyfriend or your girlfriends would appreciate that very much.’
Customer: ‘My girls don’t mind at all and your boyfriend does not need to know. Your number now, please.’
Me: handing him my store business card which only has the company number on it ‘this is the number to the store, I’d be glad to help the 3 of you again with a purchase and only a purchase. Have a wonderful evening.’
Customer: ‘You American women can be so difficult.’
He finally got the hint and left.

Like A Baby Stealing Candy

, , , , | | Right | May 27, 2018

(A mother who is known to not watch her kids is talking on her phone. We have a large candy section out that has gum tape, gum beepers, candy phones, candy necklaces, and many other candy toys. The other cashier is ringing her items up, and I see her youngest one looking at a gum beeper. She tries to open it.)

Me: “Sorry, honey, but if you want that, your mom has to buy it first.”

(Her mom looks down at her daughter and says no, but winks at the same time. She puts it back, and the cashier starts to ring more items, but now the mom starts to argue with her about a sale that was last week. I am ringing up and talking to my customer. I look over to see the lady’s daughter ripping open the package.)

Me: “Ma’am, you have to pay for that now.”

(Now the other cashier looks embarrassed that she missed that. The mom starts yelling at me while I page the manager. The mother does not take the beeper away, and the daughter shoves a stick of gum in her mouth.)

Manager: “Sorry, but your child opened it up and took a piece.”

Customer: “Well, she only had one piece; I will just pay for the one stick. I don’t have the money for all of it.”

Manager: “Sorry, but you have to pay for it all.”

(The mother looks at her child and her child, almost as if trained, starts crying. Now customers are yelling at my manager, saying that he should just give the girl the gum, and they start to yell at the cashiers).

Manager: “Okay, ma’am, this is the only time.”

(The manager paid for the candy and the mother walked off. The customers gave the other cashier and me angry looks while they went through the line. After that, whenever the mother was in line we had a stock boy close by. She tried it four other times.)

The Fabric Of My Vocation

, , , | | Right | May 20, 2018

Me: “Welcome to our fabric store. Is there any way I can help you?”

Customer: “I pick out fabrics, I bring it up to you, you cut it, and then I pay you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s pretty much my job description.”

(She seemed genuinely confused at how buying stuff works.)

Got That Complaint In The Can

, , , | | Right | May 19, 2018

(I work maintenance in a supermarket. One of my responsibilities is taking care of any issues that the bottle return machines cause. The bell rings for me to go to the machines. Once out there:)

Me: “Sorry for the wait.”

Customer: “The plastic machine never printed out the ticket.”

Me: “Please let me see the tickets you have so far.”

(I take a look and see if anything matches up. As usual, his ticket matches perfectly to the last displayed amount, which is $0.70. After explaining this to the customer:)

Customer: “Oh, that’s from the can machine.”

Me: “I highly doubt that you had the same exact of cans that you did for the plastic machine, but let me see what I can do. If anything, you can go to customer service and see what they can do.”

Customer: “Now I’m getting cheated out of money!”

(After a little more searching about at the machines I find the serial number that most likely matched what’s on the ticket.)

Me: “Can I see the ticket one more time, please?”

Customer: “Here!”

(Taking another look, the numbers do match up. Having proof of what I suspected from the start, but not wanting to call him a thief or a liar, I hand him back the ticket.)

Me: “Taking another look I notice that the bar code for the plastic machine matches the ticket. It’s impossible that the ticket came from either of the can machines. Sorry for the confusion.”

(The customer didn’t really apologize, being caught in his lie. Luckily, I got to the people at customer service, the manager, and the other maintenance guy before the customer came in to let them know what happened so he couldn’t try to rip the store off. It was only a small amount of money, but if he tried it this time, he probably tried and succeeded in the past, as well, for other, possibly larger amounts. The best part was that the machine went down five times on him, but didn’t give anyone else any problems. I don’t know why the machine gave him trouble, but I’m guessing he tried something or other to try and cheat the counter of the machine.)

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