Nice Knowing You

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

(We have a regular library patron who always asks for help researching his book, which is on a topic we all think is rather silly. He never says ‘thank you,’ and he treats the female librarians like dirt, but he likes our boss because he is a man and recently had a book published.)

Patron: “Is Mr. [Boss] in today?”

Me: “I’m sorry; he’s on vacation for a few weeks. Is there something I can help you with?”

Patron: “No, I need Mr. [Boss]. I’m almost finished with my book, and I need him to introduce me to his publisher.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not a service the library provides.”

Patron: “I know that, but I thought he might do it to be nice.”

Me: “I’m afraid you don’t know Mr. [Boss] very well. He’s really not that nice.”

(When my boss got back from vacation and I told him this story, he thanked me profusely for saving him from the patron.)

Looking For A Salesperson, Not A Rock Star

, , , , , , | Working | September 26, 2017

(We recently started a search for a new salesperson. One candidate earned an interview through sheer persistence, which should have been a sign of what was to come. After being rejected post-interview, he sends this message to the owner of the company, and a similar message to the person who interviewed him:)

Candidate: “I called [Interviewer] back, and after our interview, I had three businesses ready to sign, yet it appears he’s going with someone else. I’m a straight-out-of-the-gate rockstar performer, and [Interviewer]’s actions devalue my degree and verify that [Prestigious University] doesn’t mean s***. I was soooo ready to roll for you guys, and kill it, and you made a bad decision. Remember this message when your new guy produces mediocrity, compared with me coming in with three verified closed contracts. Good call, geniuses; you just explained to me why [Company] will never be known in the stature of Google.”

(Of course, this message is shared throughout the office, and the interviewer immediately calls the guy back.)

Interviewer: “I saw the message you sent [Owner]. How can you think this is acceptable behavior? If this is how you react to rejection from an interview, are you going to do the same thing if a sale doesn’t go through?”

Candidate: “I don’t know. I’ve never had a sale not go through.”

Interviewer: “Then you’re obviously meant for bigger and better things than [Company]. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.”

(The candidate tried to backtrack and play up how great he’d do at our company, only to get hung up on mid-protest. He then proceeded to bombard the interviewer’s phone with calls and messages. We didn’t hire him.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 69

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2017

Me: “Your total is $31.39. You can insert your card when you’re ready.”

(The customer inserts her card, and it’s declined.)

Me: “Sorry, your card was declined. Do you want to try another card?”

(The customer tries the same card and it’s once again declined.)

Customer: “So, am I good?”

Me: “No, sorry. It was declined again.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “Your card was declined. You’ll have to call your bank if you think it’s a mistake. It may have a protection on it.”

(The customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I can’t do anything on my end. You’ll have to call your bank.”

Customer: “But it’s all the way in [Next Town Over].”

Me: “You can just call them, and I’ll hold your things.”

Customer: *pulls out cash, but not enough to cover all of it* “What about if I just buy one? How much is one?”

Me: “You can do that; just let me know which one to take off. If you buy one, it’ll be $15 plus tax.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Which color would you like?”

Customer: “So, now what? What do I do?”

Me: “You need to choose a color.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Blue or black?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I need to void one of these items in order to finish the transaction.”

(The customer stays quiet for a few moments, as she processes this life or death decision.)

Customer: “I want the black one.”

Me: *quickly takes payment and waits for the customer to leave before turning to my coworker, who witnessed it all* “Are my ears bleeding?”

Unfiltered Story #95706

, , | Unfiltered | September 26, 2017

I’m checking out at a discount store of a major department store. While the cashier is ringing me up, the woman at the register next to me is making a scene. She’s berating the cashier ringing her up and the store associate standing on the floor next to her holding a piece of clothing. It takes me a minute or two to understand what was going on.

It turns out the manager had jumped on the registers to help with the long line. While she was checking out this woman, a store associate had come up to ask her a question and for help with an item for another customer. The angry customer was incredulous that this store associate would deign to ask her manager for help while the manager was ringing her up. She was aghast and acting like it was a terrible affront to her and she kept repeating “I can’t believe she did that! What was she thinking!” as if the store associate wasn’t standing right there. She wasn’t yelling but she was speaking loudly and acting like she was the most special person on earth. It was embarrassing and horrifying to watch. I wanted to say something but I worried what this woman would say to me.

However, after she left, I turned to the store associate still standing there and said “I’m sorry she spoke to you that way. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that and she was out of line. I’m sorry that happened to you.” The associate thanked me and after the manager helped her, she went back to the floor. My cashier and the manager looked at me and thanked me for saying something to the store associate.

The kicker? Right before I left the manager said to me “I appreciate you saying that to her. She’s only been on the floor for 20 minutes. This is her very first day.”

They’re Going To Focus On This; Make No Bones About It

, , , , , | Learning | September 25, 2017

(It’s the end of the day in the four-year-old class, and the kids are pretty much playing at whatever they feel like. One asks me to read her a cute science-y book about skeletons, so I oblige her, and she hops into my lap. This happens as I am reading a page which faces a picture of a jolly-looking skeleton with all the major bones labeled.)

Me: *reading* “’…but your shape can never change, because you have a skeleton inside you.’”

Kid: *pointing at the pelvic bone and shouting* “IS THAT YOUR VAGINA?!”

(Two other kids overhear this and think it is a funny word.)

Other Kids: “VAGINA? VAGINA?”

Me: “…can I please read?”

(I wasn’t going NEAR that one!)

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