Unfiltered Story #122345

, , | Unfiltered | October 5, 2018

When picking up a call in the phone queue, calls can last between 15-20 minutes.  I picked the phone up at 4:30 believing I would be safe…I introduce myself and we move to payroll.
Me: Okay, let’s begin with [employee name]
Client: Ummmmmmm…(click clack click clack)…ummmmm….15 — no 20.77 hours
Me: 20.77 hours for [employee name]?
Client: NO!!  20.77 HOURS!
Me: Yes…that’s what I have here, ma’am.
Moving on, she needed to add a few employees.  I tell her to let me know when she is ready to just begin with their hire date.  I hear her typing on the other side…some small sighs and ten minutes later she slowly gives me the employee information.
This whole interaction took us one and a half hours to complete an 18-person payroll and the whole building has emptied because it is now 6 and we close at 5.
At the end, she needed me to void and reissue the payroll and when I asked if she would hold a few minutes while I do so she said “Do I have to hold?  I am in a hurry for an appointment.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 37

, , , , , | Right | October 4, 2018

(I am a service leader at my local grocery store. Service leaders are in charge of getting breaks done on time, handling alcohol and tobacco sales, and answering whatever questions our cashiers have. We have to ID anyone who we believe is under the age of 30 for tobacco and 45 for alcohol, and if there are multiple people in a group I need all IDs, unless it is clearly a parent/child relationship. A cashier has to call us over whenever there is alcohol. A cashier calls me over to a group of eight twenty-something kids, with nine types of beer.)

Me: “Hi, how are you all doing today?”

Customer #1: “Good!” *hands his ID to me*

Me: “Thank you! But I need everyone’s ID.”

Customer #2: “But he has his!”

Me: “I know, but in a group I need everyone’s ID.”

Customer #1: “Guys, go get your IDs.”

(The other seven customers leave, and my cashier and I cash out the rest of the order and chit-chat with the first customer. A few minutes later, four of the group comes back.)

Customer #3: “[Other Customer] had something to do, but here’s our IDs!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to decline the sale. There are three of you missing. And I needed everyone’s.”

([Customer #3] starts freaking out on my cashier and me, calling us b****es and w****s.)

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I will not have that language around this store.”

(He turns in a huff and tries to take a twelve-pack of beer.)

Me: “Sir, you need to put that down before I call security!”

(He pouts, but puts the beer down. The first customer pays for the rest of his groceries.)

Customer #1: “So, can I buy this six-pack?”

(I’m looking this man straight in the eye, and he is dead serious.)

Me: “No, I cannot sell that to you. Have a good day.”

(He looked so confused as he was leaving my store.)

No ID, No Idea, Part 36
No ID, No Idea, Part 35
Has ID, Still No Idea

Having A Good Day

, , , , | Hopeless | October 2, 2018

(I am a generally shy person, but do sometimes shock with jokes. I’m at an old historical estate in New York. I am in my car driving towards the ticket collector. In the car is my twin brother and my younger brother.)

Gatekeeper: *sadly* “Hello, welcome to [Estate]. Tickets, please.”

Me: “Three tickets, right here!”

Gatekeeper: “Head to the left to park and then head left to go to the mansion, or right for a tour.”

(This guy looks generally upset and tired, so I want to make his day better.)

Gatekeeper: “Anyway, have a good day.”

Me: *pretending anger* “DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!”

Gatekeeper #2: “What the—”

(I speed off, but not before “dropping” a nice bonus for the sad gatekeeper.)

Twin: “What the heck! What just happened?”

(I ran into the gatekeeper on the way out. It turned out that he got the extra money I gave him, and he said it was the first thing that made him laugh. He was sad because of a family member’s funeral. The money was enough for him to have a free dinner at a local restaurant. He thanked me profusely!)

Unfiltered Story #122268

, , , | Unfiltered | October 2, 2018

Client: I will have to let you go.
Me: You mean you’re firing me?
Client: I’m sorry.
Me: Was is something I did or didn’t do for your web site?
Client: Oh no, not at all. You did a great job. You redesigned my whole site, and did it so well that
my business increased 16% in a month.
Me: Then why are you firing me?
Client: Well my business expanded so quickly, I had to hire two more people and buy some new equipment to keep up with my customer demand. But after I did that,
I realized I was coming home every week without a paycheck. I can’t afford you anymore.
Me: I will suspend work for a month to let you reorg, ok?
Client: No that won’t work. I can’t afford to pay you for your web service. Besides, I have a friend whose son just graduated from High School, and he does web sites. He uses Google and the web sites are free. He knows what he’s doing.
Me: Alright, I understand. But could I ask you a favor?
Client: Sure!
Me: Will you leave the design I created for you, on-line and intact for 30 days? As a web designer, the sites I do are my *business card*. If I want more clients, I want to send them to your web site to see my work. Is that ok with you?
Client: “I guess so. Ok.”
….2 weeks later I checked the web site and it was totally destroyed and re-done with an amateurish Google free site. When I emailed my former client and asked why my design was deleted, she said, very indignantly:
Client: I paid you for your work and that is my web site. I can do whatever I choose to do with it. I’m sorry that you have to act so childish about it.
Me: Thank you very much.
End of story.
Moral: There are mean people in business that don’t know how to run a business or deal with people …whether those people are customers  or suppliers/vendors/contractors. They don’t belong being in business for themselves. They are incompetent and downright mean. <sarcasm> Don’t you just LOVE amateur capitalists, small business style?!! </sarcasm>

Unfiltered Story #122233

, , | Unfiltered | September 30, 2018

Me:  Thank you for calling [my company].  My name is [my name], how can I help you?
Client: My payroll hasn’t arrived.
Me: Okay, let me look it up…okay, it looks like there was a delay with [large payroll carrier] because there was an ice storm in TN
Client: That’s no excuse!  I was guaranteed 24 hour delivery!
Me: I’m sorry, we have no control once the package leaves our facility and [large delivery carrier] says that it was due to weather
Client: It is YOUR responsibility and it did not arrive yesterday like promised
Me: I am afraid neither we nor [large delivery carrier] have any control over the weather
Client begins to rant about how his delivery should have arrived regardless of dangerous weather, that we should have contacted him if there was a delay (no payroll service does this), that he needs to have his delivery firs thing today and the 3 hour schedule delay at [large carrier delivery] was no excuse.  I just kept repeating that it was due to weather, not anyone’s fault and that he would receive his package as soon as it was deliverable.
Client; Just so you know, your service is completely unsatisfactory and unacceptable. *click*
I could only thank God that he was not my client, and in my entire history (15 years) of customer service, I have never spoken to a more disagreeable customer/client.  If I could change the weather, it would be a balmy 75-80 degrees sunny all the time here in NY!

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