Unfiltered Story #153766

, , | | Unfiltered | June 8, 2019

(I work at a small bagel shop that also serves sandwiches and coffee. We also put the traditional toppings such as cream cheese and butter at request. This happened at what I thought was a normal transaction.)

Me: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Hello, can I have two whole wheat bagels?
Me: Sure, anything else?
Customer: Yes, I’d like two iced coffees with milk and sugar.
(After this, I proceed to make the customer’s order. Usually when people ask for just bagels, it goes without saying they do not want anything on it.)
Me (having finished order): Alrighty then ma’am. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Customer: No, I believe that is all.
Me: Ok, your total is [Total amount].
(She pays the total and is about to leave when she looks inside her bag and comes back up to the counter.)
Customer: Excuse me, miss? You didn’t butter these bagels.
Me (slightly confused): I’m sorry, you didn’t ask me to butter them?
Customer: Yeah, don’t you guys just always slice and slap butter right on the bagels?
Me: No ma’am, you have to ask for that…
Customer (incredulous): I do? That isn’t how you fix all the bagels?
Me: No, if you want something on the bagels you have to ask for it. ( I go to butter her bagels.) Also, ma’am, having butter on these is an extra charge,  I’ll have to adjust your price.
Customer: So it’s extra? Alright then…
Me (hands her the now buttered bagels): Ok, you just owe me [some amount] more.
(She pays for her bagels and leaves, all the while shaking her head as if this was an entirely new concept.)
Me (to coworker after she leaves): I want to know what bagel store she goes to that butters bagels without having to be told!

Her Paranoia Is Cut From The Whole Cloth

, , , , , , | | Friendly | June 6, 2019

(I am fourteen years old but look like I’m nine. My computer teacher at school puts a cloth over everyone’s hands to practice touch typing. I do this while typing up an assignment in the public library. A stranger pulls the cloth away.)

Stranger: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Homework.”

(She looks over at my screen, and I block it because it is not her business.)

Stranger: “That’s not homework. You’re covering up because you are doing something bad. Why else would you cover the screen and your hands?

(She chucks my cloth elsewhere.)

Me: “It is my homework, not yours, and the cloth is just how we were taught to touch type.”

Librarian: “Ma’am, please keep your voice down. Sweetie, is she bothering you? Where are your parents?”

(You have to be twelve to be here alone. I now see that the stranger is looking at my screen again.)

Me: “Hey!”

(The librarian turns off the monitor.)

Librarian: “Ma’am, please just go mind your business.”

Stranger: “She’s hiding something bad! A child doesn’t mean innocent.”

(A second librarian has arrived and is escorting her away. I turn back to the first librarian.)

Me: “I am fourteen, here alone, and I’m only doing homework. That stranger thought I was up to no good because I had that cloth over my hands, and it got worse when I covered my screen when she stared at it.”

Librarian: “I see. Let’s pick up that cloth she threw over there. Ignore that woman. We’ll keep an eye out.”

(I found out later that she has harassed others for various reasons.)

His Pizza Fee Is Not Grandfathered In

, , , , | | Right | June 4, 2019

(My dad owns a takeout pizzeria that was started by his father – my grandfather. The pizzeria is named in honor of my grandfather, who, at the time of this story, has been dead for 35 years. I order pizza on a Friday evening, which is a really busy time, and when I get to the store the line is about seven people long. Although I know the employees would let me cut to the front, I don’t like to do it because it makes other customers upset, so I just take my place in line behind a guy wearing a suit and start playing on my phone to pass the time.)

Suit Guy: “I can’t believe it’s taking so long.” *to the person in front of him* “How long have you been waiting? I’ve been waiting for about ten minutes now; this is crazy.”

Customer: “Oh. I don’t know. I haven’t been keeping track.”

Suit Guy: *aggressive* “You should keep track!” *spins to face me* “You! You just got in line; you should remember the exact time you got in line so you know how long it takes.”

Me: *looking up from the phone, kind of confused* Uh, why?”

Suit Guy: *straightens importantly* “I’m going to report my wait time to the owner! You should, too. This is crazy; this place used to run better.”

Me: *makes eye contact with [Cashier #1], who knows who I am and is trying not to laugh* “I don’t think I’ll report my wait time to the owner. But thanks for the advice.”

Suit Guy: “Hmpf! I’m a close personal friend of the owner, so I’m going to tell him about this the next time I see him!”

(I look closely at the guy’s face, just in case I should recognize him; I don’t, and am amused now.)

Me: “You’re close friends with [Grandfather]?”

Suit Guy: *nods, pleased that someone seems to be impressed by him* “Oh, yes. For a long time. He won’t be happy when he hears how long I had to wait for a f****** pizza! I’m telling him the next time I see him.”

Me: *trades looks with [Cashier #1] again, both of us are barely keeping in our laughter* “Hopefully, he’ll see that the wait time goes down in the future, then.”

Suit Guy: *nods a bit, pleased with this response*

(We eventually get up to the front of the line, and one teller starts checking out [Suit Guy] while I go up to the other teller. Note that the tellers are about five feet apart on the same counter. I don’t pay for the pizza, since my dad gives me free food. I just pick it up and start to walk away after a brief, friendly conversation with [Cashier #1].)

Suit Guy: “Hey, hey, wait! She didn’t pay for her pizza!”

(I stop, getting a little annoyed now. [Cashier #2] speaks up before I figure out what I want to say.)

Cashier #2: “Oh, yeah, she’s the owner’s daughter. She doesn’t pay for food.”

Suit Guy: *goes red, staring at me*

Me: “Yeah, and hey, if you’re really going to talk to [Grandfather] soon, can you ask him what heaven’s like? After you complain about the wait time, of course.”

Unfiltered Story #153724

, , | | Unfiltered | June 4, 2019

Customer:  “Large coffee filled with ice.  I can’t drink it hot.”

Me:  “So, you want it filled with ice so it’s cold.”

Customer:  “Yeah.”

(Cue the customer stomping back up to the counter two minutes later…)

Customer:  “Hey!  I can’t believe you sold me this!  This coffee is cold!”

Social Insecurity, Part 8

, , , , , | | Legal | June 1, 2019

(Like most people, I do not pick up my phone when an unfamiliar number rings unless I am expecting a call from a specific person or company. A number unknown to me rings and I ignore it. They leave a voicemail, which is unusual, so I listen to it thinking it may be important. The message goes as follows:)

Message: “You are receiving this call from our department because we have noticed suspicious activity on your social security number and we have suspended it until further notice. Press two to learn more.”

(No information on what “department,” I laughed and deleted it, knowing social security numbers don’t work that way. By far, the silliest scam call I’ve ever gotten.)

Social Insecurity, Part 7
Social Insecurity, Part 6
Social Insecurity, Part 5

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