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We Don’t Know What Drugs She’s On, But We’re Guessing All Of Them

, , , , , | Right | June 16, 2022

It’s cold outside and I’m wearing a jacket and some black pants. I’m in [Store] getting a buttload of snacks for my sister’s upcoming birthday. I see a kid reaching for some Oreos, so I give him some. He thanks me and then walks away. Then, a lady taps me on the shoulder a couple of minutes later.

Customer: “Hello? Are you going to help me or what?”

Me: *Thinking she’s talking to an employee nearby. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just move out of the way.”

Customer:Did you not just hear what I said?!

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Well, it looks like you do. I saw you helping another customer, so help me!”

At this point, I’m quite scared and not speaking.

Customer: “Well, are you going to speak or what? Whatever. Just find me these things.”

She tries to hand over a list.

Me: “Again, I’m sorry but I don’t work here.”

Customer:Listen! I don’t know who you think you are, but you obey me!”

She then digs her nails into my arm. I just fling back, hitting her nose by accident. This makes her even more enraged, and she throws her super heavy purse at me. I just sorta go PLOP on the floor, as she is still screaming at me for “being lazy,” “falling asleep on the floor,” and “being rude.” All the while, passers-by are trying to stop her. A moment or so later, the police are called.

Officer: “Okay, so [My Name], tell us what happened.”

Customer:What?! You’re siding with that lazy employee?!”

Officer: “No, we’re simply interviewing her first.”

Manager: “Also, she doesn’t work here.”

Customer: “Well, she still assaulted me!”

Officer: “Let her speak.”

I explain the story.

Customer:She’s lying!

The customer then explains her side but says that I hit her multiple times in the face and stomach.

Officer: “I’m not sure who to trust… May we view the camera footage?”

The manager agreed to show the police officer the camera footage. After viewing, the police asked me if I wanted to press charges, and of course, I said yes!

Thinking Outside The (Pizza) Box

, , , | Right | June 6, 2022

Our kitchen has about fifteen minutes left of being open, so there are a couple of to-go orders. Our host is busy, so some customers get sent to the bar where I am bartending with one other bartender.

I take a lady’s order, a ten-inch pizza and a salad.

About ten minutes later, another lady comes up and the other bartender takes her order, but I am within earshot. It’s two kid’s meals, one of them being a kid’s pizza.

The first lady’s order is ready, so I go back to grab it since I have taken her order. In order to get to the first lady, who is sitting at the bar, I have to walk past the second. I am behind the bar the whole time. I set the food directly in front of the first lady, and notice the second lady coming up and reaching for the food.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, this is her food.”

Lady #2: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Lady #2: “Is it the two kid’s meals?”

Me: “No.”

Lady #1: “It’s a pizza and a salad.”

Lady #2: “Oh! It just looked like mine!”

Spoiler alert: it didn’t look like her food. The kid’s pizza comes in a typical to-go box and the ten-inch comes in an actual pizza box.

How Many Children Have To Be Hospitalized Before You Refund?

, , , , , , | Right | June 1, 2022

I work in a call center and I answer a call.

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “This is for order [number], the excursion going to [Location].”

Me: *Pulls it up* “Okay… did you have any questions?”

Customer: “[Competitor] sells it for [price].”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, match the price, you idiot! Do I gotta spell everything out for you?”

Me: “We’re not obligated to match prices. We are as transparent as possible on our website about our prices without any hidden costs or obligations. It’s the responsibility of the customer to research which merchant would be a better option.”

Customer: “Then give me my money back!”

Me: “It’s non-refundable. We made that clear on our website before you finalized the purchase.”

Customer: *Click*

Two minutes later, the phone rings again and I answer with my greeting.

Customer: *Click*

My coworker’s phone rings. They answer.

Coworker: “Okay… Well, normally, we are not allowed to refund these types of tickets for any reason, but if you can verify that all three of your children are in the hospital, I can see if I can try to make a special exception.”

When a customer makes a purchase on our site, we in essence buy the ticket for them from a partnering vendor and make the reservation. Any refunds come out of OUR company’s pockets, and we’d better have a darn good reason for authorizing it, especially for amounts well over $1,000, like this person’s purchase was.

I looked over at my coworker’s screen to see the customer ticket pulled up. I wrote on a sticky note, “He’s lying. Do NOT authorize the refund,” and gave it to my coworker.

Coworker: *Reading the note* “Sir, I’m afraid I can’t assist you. You’re going to need to contact the corporate office for a final decision. Their information is— Yeah, hang up on me.”

The phone rings again and I answer.

Customer: “Oh. You again. Look, why can’t you just match the price?”

Me: “We are under no obligation to do that. We state our prices clearly. And the tickets are non-refundable, as is stated clearly.”

Customer: “Look, I at least need the extra money if you can’t do the refund. Our electricity and water are about to be turned off, my two-year-old child barely—”

Me: “Sir, you’re going to need to contact the corporate office. Have a nice day.” *Hangs up*

He finally accepted his purchase and didn’t contact us further.

Some People Are Just Trash

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2022

I’m ushering one night. We’re the ones who clean the theaters after every show and do other cleaning and maintenance work. I decide to go into a theater and wait with my broom and sanitizing spray while the movie finishes up. Like most theaters, we have garbage cans in the back of the auditorium and outside for people to dispose of their garbage.

The movie ends, the lights go up, and the hundred-and-fifty or so people begin to file out, throwing out their trash as they walk by. I’m giving them friendly nods and saying, “Have a nice night!” as they walk by.

Suddenly, one guy looks at me, looks down at the popcorn and drink he’s carrying… and simply tosses them on the floor next to me, spilling popcorn and soda everywhere. I’m dumbfounded. He walks by without saying a word, chuckling to himself.

The person behind him who saw what he did looks at me and then down at the spilled popcorn and drink, and then he shrugs and tosses his garbage on top of them.

Me: “Um, please do not do that! There are garbage cans right behind me.”

The second person walks by without making eye contact. The next person behind them who witnessed this then does the exact same thing.

I address the crowd and try to remain friendly.

Me: “All right, everyone! Please do not throw your trash on a pile next to me! There are garbage cans right behind me!”

It doesn’t work. Person after person begins to throw their trash into the pile next to me, with me telling each of them to not do it… and them just sort of doing it. Within seconds, popcorn is piled high and soda is saturating the entire carpet next to me.

Becoming increasingly angry, I address the crowd again.

Me: “Everyone! Please stop throwing your trash in this pile! DO NOT DO IT! There are garbage cans literally right behind me!”

It continues. I’ve had enough, so I physically walk in front of the pile in an attempt to stop it. And people respond by starting a second pile next to me.


People didn’t listen and continued. I was practically begging each person to stop, and they just wouldn’t listen. By the time everyone was out, there were popcorn buckets and spilled popcorn piled up to my knees, several dozen soda and slushy cups spilled all over the carpet, crunched up nachos and pretzels, and basically every other snack we sell. I had never been so angry in my life.

It ended up taking an extra twenty minutes to clean it all up since I had to sanitize and soak up all the spilled drinks and methodically sweep up all the popcorn, on top of the fifteen minutes it took to clean the rest of the theater. People weren’t able to go into the next screening until less than five minutes before the showtime… by which point, of course, there was a huge crowd of people who were very angry they couldn’t go in.

The Lack Of A Ticket Is Un-Beer-lievable!

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2022

I’m tearing tickets at a movie theater one slow night when a suspicious-looking man in his forties with a large, ominous duffel bag wanders right past me, despite me asking repeatedly if he has a ticket to show me, and into the first theater in front of him. The movie in that theater doesn’t start for another twenty minutes, so the lights are still on inside.

I follow behind with my walkie-talkie, ready to radio my manager to call the police. I peek in and see him plop down in the back row, open his duffel bag… and pull out two six-packs of beer and about a half-dozen takeout boxes. He produces a fork — I’m not sure where from — and begins to wolf down noodles and chug his beer.

Normally, I don’t mind if someone sneaks in a candy bar or a bag of chips or a water bottle — small things. But a huge meal and twelve cans of beer is absolutely ridiculous. I can smell it from where I’m standing, and I’d be furious if I had paid for a ticket and had to deal with the stink of his smuggled food and drink and his slurping. I approach him.

Me: “Sir, two things. First of all, you absolutely can’t have alcohol on these premises. This is a strictly alcohol-free business. You can either take the beer back to your car or dispose of it, or you’ll have to leave. I’m also going to need you to do the same with the food. Second, I didn’t get your ticket. I’m gonna need to see it.”

Customer: *Confused* “Ticket?”

Me: “Yes, I’ll need to see your ticket.”

Customer: “Ticket?”

Me: “Yes… ticket.”

Customer: “I need a ticket to see a movie?”

Me: “Yes. That’s traditionally how movie theaters work.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one.”

Me: “Then you’re going to have to go back to the box office and buy one. You can’t just enter the theater without one.”

Customer: “D***!”

I radio my manager to watch the greeter’s stand. I stand there and watch him slooooowly get up and put away his stuff. And when I say “slowly,” I mean it. It literally takes him five minutes to do this.

No exaggeration.

He keeps sitting down and sighing, checking his phone, rubbing his forehead like he has a headache, etc. I’m certain he is stalling and hoping I’ll leave so he can just say. I cross my arms, move even closer to him, and watch him intently. He finally leaves, naturally leaving his half-empty beer and half-empty food box for me to clean up. I follow him outside. He then turns to me.

Customer: “Which one of these theaters has [Movie] playing?”

Me: *Knowing he’s just going to try and sneak in* “If you go to the box office and buy a ticket, it’ll have the theater number on it.”

Customer: “Okay.”

He wanders away. I go back to the ticket booth and tell my manager what happened. About a half-hour later, the guy wanders by me again, doing the same thing as before; he —just walks right past without showing me a ticket. This time, I jog after him and stand in front of him.

Me: “I’m going to need to see your ticket.”

Customer: “Which theater is [Movie] playing in?”

Me: “It’ll say on your ticket. Do you have a ticket?”

He rolled his eyes and wandered back out into the lobby. He then tried and failed to stealthily crack open a beer right in front of the men’s room — and my manager, who was standing nearby.

My manager told him to leave or she would call the cops. He left the building… and then tried to come in about a half-hour later. This time my boss screamed at him to leave, and she picked up the phone to call the cops. He left very quickly after that.

But that wasn’t the last we saw of him! When we all left at the end of the night, we saw him passed out on a bench in front of the shop next door, surrounded by beer cans. My manager called the cops and reported a drunk passed out. Not sure what came of that.