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Not So Pretty In Pink

, , , , , , | Right | July 10, 2010

(A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well-known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

Customer: “No, thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

(The customer’s five-year-old daughter solemnly nodded with approval.)


This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!

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That Helpful Attitude Needs To Be Shelved

, , , | Right | July 6, 2010

(I am shelving a couple of books. I have two books in my hands, each going in different sections.)

Customer: *pointing* “Oh, that book goes over here and that book goes over there.”

Me: “But–”

Customer: “The book goes right here.”

Me: “Yes, I–”

Customer: *takes book from me* “The book goes in this spot here.”

Me: “I know.”

Customer: “I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job. I’m just trying to be helpful!”

Me: “Thank you?”


This story is part of our Libraries Roundup!

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Wrong Said Fred

, , , , | Right | July 5, 2010

Me: “May I help you?”

Caller: “Please put me through to [Owner].”

Me: “Sure, who’s calling, please?”

Caller: “His cousin Fred.”

Me: “I didn’t know he had a cousin Fred.”

Caller: “Why would you? You just answer phones! This is a family affair and none of your business! Who do you think you are, anyway?”

Me: “[Owner]’s daughter.” *click*


This story is part of our Customers Caught Lying roundup!

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Paperwork Doesn’t Take A Huge Leap (Year)

, , , | Right | June 8, 2010

Me: “Okay, I’m just going to give you some paperwork to fill out.”

Patient: “Paperwork? Again? I fill it out every single time I come here!”

Me: “Well, it looks to me as if the last time you were seen here was over four years ago.”

Patient: “So what? Nothing has changed since then!”

Me: “All right. So, do you still have [type of medical insurance]?”

Patient: “Oh, no. I uh, switched insurances. Oh, and I moved, too.”

Me: “So there have been some changes in the last four years? Then you’ll need to update your paperwork.”

Patient: *snatches papers from my hand* “Well obviously things have changed. It’s been four whole years since I’ve been here, you know!”

The Price of Verity

, , , | Right | June 6, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, I purchased this juicer from you yesterday and it doesn’t seem to be working. You have to take it back.”

Me: “Really? Well, I took that right out of the shipping crate it was delivered to us in, so no one here could have possibly have messed with it.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Just let me check something, please.”

(I take the juicer out of the box and carry it over to the kitchen. I plug it into an outlet and turn it on and watch as it revs up as normal.)

Me: “It seems to be in working order. Are you sure you hit the power switch on the side here to turn it on when you tried using it?”

Customer: “Hey, you’re supposed to just give me my money back, not check if I’m telling the truth!”


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