Perhaps It’s Because You Drive A Hummmvee

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2010

(I have a sticker on my car that reads “Caution: Driver Singing.” I pull up into work and as I’m heading in, a customer taps me on the shoulder.)

Customer: “Hey.”

Me: “Um, hi?”

Customer: “I thought so! You’re that girl with the singing bumper sticker, aren’t you?”

Me: “Oh! Yes, I am.”

Customer: “I passed you in the parking lot yesterday. You weren’t singing.”

Me: “Oh, well, I’ve had a sore throat.”

Customer: *completely serious* “You should always be singing, you know.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “In a car like that, you should always be singing so your sticker doesn’t lie!”

Me: “Well, the other day when you passed me? I was humming.”

Customer: *perfectly happy again* “Oh, really? Well, that’s all right, then!”


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The Dolly Llama’s New Groove

, , , , | Right | March 15, 2010

(As I am organizing books on a display, I overhear this exchange.)

Customer #1: *pointing at a copy of “The Path to Tranquility”* “Ooh, look! That’s the Dalai Lama! I saw him once!”

Customer #2: “You saw him?”

Customer #1: “Yeah! He was in Florida doing a thing! I saw him out walking with all his little llamas.”

Customer #2: “Um, little LLAMAS?”

Customer #1: “Or dollies, whatever!”


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Sadly Just Small-Fry

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2010

Customer: “Hi, I’d like some of your free Wi-fries.”

Me: “Um, excuse me?”

Customer: “I heard on your commercial that you were offering free Wi-fries.”

Me: “Oh, you must have misunderstood. It means we offer free wireless Internet here, not free fries.”

Customer: “Oh, man, I was looking forward to trying a new kind of fry.”

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Microbrain

, , , , | Right | March 2, 2010

Caller: “This f****** computer won’t work!”

Me: “Can you describe the problem?”

Caller: “Whenever I click on something, this stupid little hourglass won’t go away!”

Me: “Are you sure it’s not frozen?”

Caller: “You think this is some kind of joke?! I don’t leave my computer in the snow!”

(I try to explain several times what the term ‘frozen’ means.)

Caller: “So, how do I heat it up? Never mind! Why do I even call you people? I’ll just stick it in the microwave to heat it up. Thanks for nothing!” *hangs up*

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The Cup Is Definitely Half Empty

, , , | Right | March 2, 2010

(A woman and her twelve-year-old son are buying hockey equipment.)

Me: “Okay, you’ll also need a cup and supporter for him.”

Customer: “How do I know what size he needs?”

Me: “The supporter is based on his waist size. Do you know his waist size?”

Customer: “Yes, but how do I know what size the cup should be for him?”

Me: “Well, you’d know better than me! I’d recommend the teen size.”

Customer: “No. If he’s anything like his father, he’ll need an extra-small.”


This story is part of the Embarrassing Parents roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Reasons Why Your Mother Is Awesome – And Why You Should Call Her!

 

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