Mad As A Bull In A China Shop

, , , | Right | July 9, 2012

(At our china shop, we’re having our biggest sale of the year. This requires me to manually lower the prices on items. I’m dealing with an incredibly rude and snappy customer, who is causing quite a line to build up behind her.)

Customer: “That was supposed to be $4.97, NOT $9.99!”

Me: “I know ma’am, that’s why I’m adjusting the price. See?”

(This continues until the grumpy customer has been completely rung up. She then returns a few minutes later, receipt in hand.)

Customer: “You charged me $10.99 for this plate! The sign outside says $6.97!”

Me: “I’m sorry, the owner keeps marking down prices, and as the lower price wasn’t on your item, I didn’t realize it should have been less. Here, give me your receipt and card and I’ll refund you the difference.”

Customer: “Well, you should know all the prices and be more careful! This place always rips me off!”

Me: “Here’s your receipt. I’ve credited your account. Can I have the next customer, please?”

Customer: *suddenly pleasant tone* “Thank you so much!”

(I help the next customer.)

Customer: “I really appreciate it!” *in a more aggravated tone* “Good luck with the sale!” *even more upset* “Keep smiling!” *yelling on her way out the door* “HAVE A SPARKLING DAY!”

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How To Make An Employee’s Day

, , | Right | April 16, 2012

(I work at a call center. As I’m working, I overhear my coworker talking another call.)

Coworker: “Hi, my name is [Coworker]. I’m calling from [Organization]…”

(As usual, I tune her out since it’s just a script, and focus on my own call. However, after a few minutes, she hangs up and excitedly speaks to everyone in the room.)

Coworker: “Guys! She used my name!”

Manager: “What?”

Coworker: “She used my name! When she hung up, she said, ‘Have a nice day, [Coworker]’!”

(To this day, whenever the room’s getting a little down, someone always tells the story of the customer who used her name!)

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One Good Takeout Deserves Another

, , , , , | Right | December 25, 2011

(A few years ago, around noon on Christmas day, several dozen Chinese people walked in to our Kosher deli-style restaurant, apparently in a group. One walked up to the front desk.)

Man: *softly* “Is it okay if we’re here?”

Hostess: “Yes, we serve everyone, but are you sure you’re in the right place?”

Man: “This is [Restaurant], right?”

Hostess: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Man: “Well, we figured since you Jews are all coming to our restaurants tonight, we’d return the favor.”

Hostess: *slightly shocked* “Thanks. Right this way… We’ll seat you!”

(…and they’ve been back every year since!)

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Takes One To Call One

, , , | Right | December 21, 2011

(I am taking calls on Thanksgiving day.)

Customer: “Wow! A real person!”

Me: “Yes, sir! We’re staffed 24/7/365!”

Customer: “They make you guys work holidays. That’s terrible! Why would they do that?”

Me: *smiling to myself* “In case someone calls in for help.”

Customer: “What kind of work-a-holic would call in on a holiday?”

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Not If You’re Tim Burton

, , , | Right | November 8, 2011

(It is three weeks before Halloween. A customer walks into the gym and points at some of the decorations we’ve put up.)

Member: *rudely* “What is all this for?”

Me: “They’re our Halloween decorations.”

Member: “Oh, okay. Because I was going to say, it’s a little early for Christmas decorations.”

(The Christmas decorations he was referring to? Cobwebs and jack-o-lantern lights.)

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