It’s A Man’s World

, , , , | Right | September 23, 2017

(I’m on my break and go to use the men’s room. A customer walks in and approaches me as I am washing my hands.)

Customer: “Is this the men’s room?”

Me: *face-palm*

(All of a sudden I hear my male manager laughing from the adjacent stall.)

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About A Foot Away From Total Meltdown

, , , | Working | September 22, 2017

(I am standing in line at a sandwich shop.)

Worker: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, please. Can I get a foot-long Reuben sandwich?”

Worker: “Do you want a six-inch or twelve-inch?”

(The customer and I both look at her; I figure she just wasn’t paying attention.)

Customer: “A foot-long.”

Worker: “Okay, a six-inch or a twelve-inch?”

Customer: “A foot-long means twelve-inch.”

(She just looked blankly at him and got the bread out. The man was very polite and understanding with her. Someone else helped me, and the last time I looked, she only had bread cut and had no idea what she was supposed to do next. I wonder how long it was before he got his lunch?)

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And The Light Bulb Goes On

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2017

(A customer calls complaining of a high electric bill. I look over the account and see that the usage is, indeed, pretty high. I then go through a series of standard questions, trying to determine what could be causing the elevated usage.)

Customer: “Well, I do run two refrigerators and a freezer. One fridge in the kitchen, freezer in the basement, and a second fridge in the garage.”

Me: *knowing it is winter time and far colder out than would require the fridge in the garage to run* “It seems unlikely the fridge in the garage would be running very much with it being so cold.”

Customer: “No, it’s running.”

Me: “Why would be running if it is not warm enough in the garage to require it to turn on?”

Customer: “Well, there is a light bulb in it.”

Me: “There is a light bulb in every fridge, but it only turns on when the door opens.”

Customer: “No, I put a light bulb in it on an extension cord to force the fridge to run. It is a very old fridge, and we are scared that if it shuts off it may not come back on, so we put a light bulb in it to keep it on.”

Me: “…so, you are using a light bulb as a heat source to keep the very old fridge running all the time?”

Customer: *very satisfied with herself* “YES!”

Me: *silent facepalm* “This is the reason for your increased electric consumption.”

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That’s Too Much Sharing

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2017

(My friend is traveling to New York on business. While he usually gets his own room, his boss warns him that due to cutbacks, he may be sharing a room with a coworker this trip. The hotel desk clerk is a very attractive woman.)

Friend: “Reservation for [Name].”

Clerk: “And will you be staying alone, sir?”

Friend: “Yes.” *remembers that the room may have been reserved for two* “Unless you have other plans.”

Clerk: *icily hands him his key card* “Good day, sir.”

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Unfiltered Story #95372

, , | Unfiltered | September 20, 2017

(My name is Clara, and I order a latte from a busy coffee shop. I wait at the pickup station for about five minutes.)

Barista: “I have a latte for Clara.”

(I reach for the cup. Another customer, who had been in line behind me, shoves me out of the way.)

Other Customer: “She said CLARA. It’s a latte for CLARA. Did you hear her? God.”

(She takes the drink and leaves. I stand, baffled, deciding what to do.)

Barista: “I have another latte for the other Clara.”

Me: “How odd, I thought there would only be one!”