He Gin-uinely Tried It

, , , , , , | Healthy | August 27, 2019

(I am a student nurse, about a year from graduation. A friend of mine calls.)

Me: “Hello?”

Friend: “So, you’re a nurse, right?”

Me: “I already don’t like where this is going, and I’m a student nurse. Not–”

Friend: “Okay, well, I have some gravel deep in my hand. Can I just pour some gin on it and be fine?”

(Gin also happens to be his favorite alcohol.)

Me: “What?! Hang on; how did you get gravel in your hand and how deep is it?”

Friend: “I was on my bike and some a**hole opened their car door right in front of me and I went down pretty hard. And here, let me just take a picture.”

(He sends me a picture of his hand, showing that the gravel is dug in pretty deep and firmly stuck in so rinsing it with anything won’t get it out.)

Me: “You need to get tweezers and pull out the gravel, rinse it with water, put something like Neosporin on it, and cover it with a bandaid.”

Friend: “Well, I don’t have tweezers or any of that, really.”

Me: “You live in NYC. There’s definitely some kind of drug store or corner store you can get this stuff in.”

Friend: “I don’t want to spend money on things I already have at home, so can I just pour gin on it?”

Me: *sighs* “I cannot condone this at all but rinsing it with water is probably the best option.”

Friend: “So, gin is okay?”

Me: “If you’re intent on using alcohol, use straight vodka, instead, BUT I CANNOT CONDO–”

Friend: “Okay, thanks, bye!” *hangs up*

(He texts me a picture of his hand. He has used a prong of his watch to dig out the gravel, causing himself to bleed more and making the entire area fairly red. He texts me an hour or so later.)

Friend: “The barkeeper wouldn’t just give me some vodka, so I had to buy it and go into the bathroom to rinse it. Thanks again!”

Me: “This still was not your best option and I cannot condone this behavior.”

(He never replied.)

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Unfiltered Story #159990

, , , | Unfiltered | August 6, 2019

Customer: Can I get the, um, employee discount?
Me: No. You’re not an employee here.
Customer: No, it’s ok. I ALWAYS get that discount!
Me: If my manager were here, I’d ask her.. but she isn’t and I don’t want to get into any sort of trouble. I cannot give you an employee discount.
Customer: You won’t get in trouble! It’s a matter of pennies!!
Me: Ma’am, I cannot give you an employee discount.
Customer: Both of my two sons work here!
(There are only 4 of us who work there, none of us are male)
Me: I don’t know what to tell you, I can’t give you that discount. Your total comes to-
Customer: I KNOW THE OWNER! I’m friends with her!
(The owner of the store is not a woman…)
Me: That’s fantastic. I still can’t give you an employee discount. Now, your total is-
Customer: WELL THEN! I guess I’m taking MY business ELSEWHERE!
(As she’s leaving, Customer #2 pipes us with a comment that I’m *sure* the first customer must’ve heard as she walked out the door)
Customer #2: She wasn’t serious, was she? Does she not understand how ***employee*** discounts work?

Unfiltered Story #159861

, , , | Unfiltered | August 2, 2019

(I’m showing a woman an apartment unit. We both step on the elevator along with a present tenant. I’m making small talk, and she tells me she was uncomfortable because there were no benches in the lobby to sit on.)
Tenant: The management doesn’t like people sitting down.
Woman (visibibly distressed): Really?!
Tenant (sarcastically): Oh definitely. They’re facists.
(The tenant gets off the elevator on his floor.)
Woman: Is that true? Does management really not want people to sit down?
(I stare at her a moment before assuring her that we had nothing against people sitting in the lobby, we just haven’t gotten any benches in yet. She seemed relieved!)

Unfiltered Story #159837

, , , | Unfiltered | July 30, 2019

(Passenger 1 has been seated away from one of her two children, her two-year-old is in a middle seat several rows up. She asks Passenger 2 if she would be willing to switch seats, just for take off. When Passenger 2 says no, a woman in the row behind them offers to switch. As Passenger 1 settles her child in, the child asks why she can’t sit with her.)

Passenger 1: Well some people just aren’t very nice.

Passenger 2: Excuse me? Did you just say I wasn’t nice.

Passenger 1: Well, I was trying to help my child feel comfortable during take off.

Passenger 2: So, just because you don’t get your way, I’m rude?

Passenger 1: I have been traveling with two young children for two weeks.

Passenger 2: I don’t see how that’s my problem.

Flight Attendant: Is there something I can help you with?

Passenger 2: Yeah, this woman is calling me rude. I mean, I bought my ticket early, I got on the plane on time. Why should I have to move my seat?

Flight Attendant: (helpless and confused) I’m sorry.

Passenger 2: Yeah, not sorry enough.

Passenger 3: Look, it’s a six-hour flight. You two need to find a way to get along. We’re all going to the same place.

(Passenger 2 spends the rest of the flight staring petulantly out the window. The children are fine. When we land in California, my friend gets a good look at her.)

Friend: That woman doesn’t have bitchy resting face. She’s just a bitch.

Unfiltered Story #157522

, , , | Unfiltered | July 10, 2019

(I’m working in the box office on a busy night at a movie theatre. It is busy enough that my supervisor is also on a register, at the point in the night he and I are the only ones on register. We do not have glass covering our box office, it is an open layout and it should also be noted that this supervisor and I have worked together for 2 years and are usually in the same department so he knows me probably better than most managers)

(Gentleman walks up to counter and also has a bag that he places on the counter)

Customer: Hi I’d like a ticket to movie.
Me: That will be $14.99.
Customer: *Slams $50 on counter*
Me: *Check’s bill, drops bill in large bill box* Okay here’s your ticket and your change, you’ll be in theatre 13 on the 4th floor.
Customer: This is the wrong change!
Me: Your total was $14.99, you paid with a $50, I gave you $35 and a penny back.
Customer: You only gave me $25 dollars! *He’s still holding the $35 in his hand*
Me: Sir, you are holding the $35 right now *points*
Customer: Did you just touch my food!
Me: Sir I did not touch your food I was just pointing at the change in your hand.
Customer: F****** c***! If you are so poor and on food stamps that you need to attempt to steal my food you need to learn a lesson!
Me: Sir I have no need for your food, I never touched your food and I am not on food stamps.
Customer: Get me your manager!
(At this point my manager finishes the transaction he’s working on, he and I are the only ones on register, the manager sends me to the back and gives me the non-verbal code to call security)
Customer: That f****** b**** tried to steal my food and gave me the wrong change. If she’s that poor that she needs to steal from me you need to rethink who you are hiring.
Manager: Sir as you can see I’ve been on register all night. I’ve worked with this employee for two years and I know that she is the most honest and trust worthy employee we have. I’m going to have to ask you to leave because you have no right to speak to her like that.

(We eventually had to call NYPD because he refused to leave once given a refund)

Manager: Why do you get all the insane people?