(A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well-known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

Customer: “No, thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

(The customer’s five-year-old daughter solemnly nodded with approval.)

This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!

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(As I am organizing books on a display, I overhear this exchange.)

Customer #1: *pointing at a copy of “The Path to Tranquility”* “Ooh, look! That’s the Dalai Lama! I saw him once!”

Customer #2: “You saw him?”

Customer #1: “Yeah! He was in Florida doing a thing! I saw him out walking with all his little llamas.”

Customer #2: “Um, little LLAMAS?”

Customer #1: “Or dollies, whatever!”

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(I’m putting a sale sign above a cooler containing shrimp when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Jumbo shrimp? That’s funny.”

Me: “Yeah it’s kind of an oxymoron, huh?”

Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?”

Me: “An oxymoron is an English term, sir.”

Customer: “I don’t care if it’s a French term! Nobody insults me and gets away with it!”

(The customer suddenly grabbed me and put me into a tackle. He held me in it for a good few seconds before coworkers arrived to help!)

This story is part of the Bad With English roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

Some other roundups to check out if you liked this one:

23 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Struggle With Reading And Comprehension

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