Incorrect Al-leg-gations

, , , | Working | October 5, 2012

(One day while my friend is shopping, he parks in a spot specifically reserved for handicapped drivers. A parking inspector sees this and confronts him.)

Inspector: “Excuse me, sir, you can’t park here.”

My Friend: “Yes, I can. I’ve got a disability sticker.”

(My friend points to sticker that is clearly visible on the windshield of his car.)

Inspector: “Yeah, right! I bet that’s not even your sticker!”

My Friend: “Here’s my Driver’s Licence. It’s got the same name as the name on the sticker.”

Inspector: “Bull***t! Clearly, you’re just faking a disability to get a good parking spot.”

My Friend: *removes his left prosthetic leg and hands it to the inspector*

Inspector: *gasps and runs away*

1 Thumbs
2,398

Fresh Until Proven Spoiled

, , , , , , | Right | September 1, 2011

(A customer comes to the return desk the day after Christmas.)

Customer: “This ham smells off. Smell it. I want a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry that it was off, sir. I’ll refund you now.”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to smell it?”

Me: “Um… it’s okay. I believe you.”

Customer: “It smells terrible!”

Me: “I’m sure it does, sir, but it’s not necessary for me to smell it. I’ll just give you a refund.”

Customer: “How do you know I’m not lying if you won’t smell it?”

Me: “Sir, I am not going to smell your ham.”

Customer: “SMELL MY HAM!”

1 Thumbs
2,229

Reason For Refund Holds Water

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2011

Customer: “I’d like to return this hat; it didn’t meet my expectations.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t return this for you. The hat is wet.”

Customer: “I wouldn’t call it wet. That’s a bit presumptuous of you, isn’t it?”

Me: “I don’t think it is. It’s wet.”

Customer: “And where does it say in your returns policy that all items must be dry?”

1 Thumbs
2,270

Taxing Faxing, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2010

Me: “Hi, [Cake Shop]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, do you have cake boxes?”

Me: “Like the ones we put the sold cakes into?”

Caller: “Yeah, but do you have just plain coloured ones?”

Me: “No, sorry. We only have ones with the company’s logo on it.”

Caller: “Well, can you order one? I told my friend that I got a special cake shop to make the cake, but I made it, and all I need is a plain box.”

Me: “Sorry, we can’t do that.”

Caller: “Okay, then, I’ll just get the one with a logo. Can you mail it?”

Me: “No, that’s not store policy. Customers have to collect it themselves.”

Caller: “Well, then just fax it to me.” *tells me his number – and before I can respond* “Thank you!” *hangs up*

1 Thumbs
1,502

H2-Woah

, , , , , | Right | December 3, 2010

(At the cinema the water is really expensive. The bottle we sell costs $5.10 but anywhere else it would be $2.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll just grab a water, thanks.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be $5.10.”

Customer: *shocked* “$5.10!?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, just our prices.”

Customer: “But it’s water. You know, that s*** comes from the sky, right?”

1 Thumbs
3,030