Brand Awareness Goes Both Ways

, , , , , , | Right | March 16, 2020

(I get called to our front counter by a fellow supervisor to help her with a refund. We were both employed at the same time and have been in with the company for about three years but for some reason, she’s never familiarised herself with the products we sell.)

Supervisor: “I’m trying to put a return through for this lady but the items won’t scan.” 

(I’ve not yet seen the items.)

Me: “Okay, where’s the receipt?”

Supervisor: “She doesn’t have one.”

Me: “We can’t do a return without a receipt.”

Supervisor: “I know that. I’m just going to give her store credit.”

(We aren’t supposed to but can do it to keep customers happy.)

Me: “Okay, then where are the items?”

Customer: “Here they are; I bought them from here.”

Me: *glancing quickly at the items* “These aren’t our items; you didn’t buy these here.”  

Customer: “Yes, they are. I bought them here.”

Supervisor: “How can you tell? You barely even looked at them.”

Me: “They are both brands we’ve never sold.”

Supervisor: “You can remember all the brands we sell?”

Me: “Not all of them, but this one is [Competitor]’s own brand and this one—” *flips package over to show a distinctive red and white logo* “—is from [Store].”  

Customer: “Oh, I could have sworn I bought them here, but I am certain I got that one here. I never go to [Competitor]. How do you know it’s their own brand?”

Me: “I worked there for five years, and if you read the package it will say that it’s exclusive to [Competitor].”


(I wordlessly flip the package over and point to the fine print, which is too small for me to read.)

Customer: “Oh, it does say [Competitor], but I hardly ever go there.”

(She apologises and leaves.)

Supervisor: “I don’t know how you can remember what stock we sell.”

(I don’t know how she can’t, seeing that we only carry our own brands.)

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They’re Not Special And Neither Are You

, , , , , | Right | March 12, 2020

(This takes place in a well-known Australian supermarket. Our store takes online orders for people at home. My job is to pick items off the shelf and place them in crates on a trolley. Each crate has a name and a corresponding address. Each item is bagged and tied by hand in plastic bags.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Are these items on special?”

Me: “No, these items are for online customers. They are not on special.”

Customer: “Okay, then.”

(The customer then wanders off to a different part of the store. My next item requires me to leave my trolley to find an item that’s out of stock. This takes no longer than five minutes. As I return, I hear the following conversation with my coworker.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, what are you doing?”

Customer: “These were on special! I’m taking them.”

(I walk around the corner only to find that the customer from before has taken EVERY SINGLE ITEM out of its bag and into her own trolley. This is well over 100 hand-picked and bagged items.)

Customer: “He told me they were on special!”

Me: “I did not. I told you they were for online customers.”

Customer: “Liar! You’re just trying to steal them and keep them for yourself! I bet you don’t even work here!”

Me: “I do work here because my shirt has the [Store] logo on it. Also, the trolley clearly advertises who I am shopping for. Online customers! Not specials!”

(Thankfully, the customer turned around and left in a huff. I spent the next hour rescanning and bagging the items.)

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He’s Totally Madmium

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2020

(I work in an arts and craft store that sells spray paint. Around Halloween, an older man comes in, stops to look at our sale items — at the moment face and body paint — and then heads straight to the spray paint aisle. He then purchases quite a few cans of the cadmium spray paint we have, all of which have clear labeling on the sides about the toxicity of them and how you should wear a mask when using them. With each can, we offer a free face mask for convenience. As I’m ringing him up, the conversation goes like this:)

Me: “Would you like a few free face masks with your spray paint today? Or do you already have enough at home?”

Customer: “What? Why would I need a mask?”

Me: “This particular brand of spray paint isn’t very safe. Cadmium colours and spray paint in general are toxic to humans. If you breathe it in, it may make you very ill.”

Customer: “I won’t be breathing it in; it’s going straight onto my face! It’ll be fine!”

Me: “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “I use it as body paint!”

Me: “Our face paints are just there if you’d like to check those out, instead. I really wouldn’t recommend using these on your skin. Spray paint can cause irritation on your skin and cadmium, the colour, is similar to lead. It can really damage your body if you accidentally ingest it.”

Customer: “I’m not eating it, and I’ve done this since I was a child! It’s much easier than using those little pots of paint to cover a whole body! I’ll be fine.”

Me: “…”

(I still think about this man to this day. How he hasn’t gotten lead poisoning still baffles me.)

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Unfiltered Story #187673

, , | Unfiltered | February 29, 2020

*I work in an I.T department for a large company that is under-staffed and very busy. I’m currently working offsite at our data centre when this happens*

Coworker: Hey I know you’re busy but user has rang up about a ticket.

Me: She will have to wait. I’ll talk to her tomorrow.

*Next day*

Coworker: She’s on the phone again..

Me: *taking the call* Hi, IT dept this is *my name*.

User: I’m ringing up about ticket to install this software we urgently need.

Me: Sorry, we are flat out at the moment and I was in the city yesterday so couldn’t do it. *asks for more details as I have never seen this software before*

User: I don’t know why this is so f’ing hard. I try to do the right thing and log a ticket but no-one is fixing this.

Me: *getting cranky as she has done similar things before* I’ll come down soon and have a look.

*After quickly finding out what to do with the software, I rush down to her and install it on the computers she needs*

Me: Ok, it’s all installed. I don’t have an account for this software so can’t test it. Can you login to it to make sure it all works.

User: Oh, I don’t have a login yet. I just wanted to make sure it was installed so that when I do get the logins it is ready to go.

Me: *Facepalm*

It’s A Dragon! It’s A Kangaroo! No, It’s A Whole Mess Of Rabbits!

, , , , , , , , | Learning | February 28, 2020

I’m in my final year of high school. My Science Extension class is quite small and has a very casual atmosphere. We’re also fairly close with our teacher.  

I quite enjoy origami, and one day, I make a little dragon to de-stress. On a whim, I decide to drop it off on my teacher’s desk for her to find. She really likes it and asks me if it’s a crane. This happens as well with a kangaroo that I’d made for another teacher, a parrot — also for another teacher — and a rabbit.  

Later on, we’re discussing something unrelated and the topic turns to her inability to distinguish origami animals. I jokingly say that I should cover her desk with rabbits due to how they multiply explosively, and I think no more of it. The next day, however, I find another method for an origami rabbit, remember what I said to her, and put together a plan.  

I’d given her the first “parent” rabbit — the same rabbit that she mistook for a crane — on a Monday, so I spent Tuesday gathering materials and folding the second “parent” rabbit. As the first rabbit was folded with yellow paper, the second rabbit was folded with blue paper to contrast the first one, using the different method that I’d found. This rabbit was delivered on Wednesday, just before our class started.  

On Thursday, I took three sheets of green paper, divided them into quarters, and started making tiny rabbits, using both methods. I also made a little exploding envelope, complete with directions on how to operate it. On the inside, I drew a cartoony explosion — complete with a “BOOM” in the middle — and wrote, “I did say that rabbits multiply explosively!” underneath.

On Friday, I waited until she’d left the staffroom to put the last stage of my plan into action. As soon as she’d left the building, I snuck up to the staffroom, scattered the “baby rabbits” all over her laptop, and left the envelope with the directions facing upward. I then ran back to where I usually sat and waited until I saw her head back to the staffroom.  

This next part is a combination of what I’d heard after I ran up to the staffroom and what was relayed to me after she’d found the rabbits.

She didn’t see anything amiss at first… until she walked closer and saw her laptop covered in tiny little origami rabbits. She went, “Oh, my God, that’s a lot of rabbits!” in a fairly excited tone. After she’d said that, she saw the envelope, picked it up, and followed the directions. The envelope “exploded” as it was supposed to, and after she read the message, she started laughing.  

All in all, I think it was a pretty successful prank.

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