She Loves To Wine And Moan

, , , , | Right | February 10, 2020

(A woman somehow manages to tip her glass of wine over, and it smashes onto the floor. I go over to make sure she’s okay and clean it up. Thankfully, it is easy to clean as it was mostly empty, so I don’t need to contend with a puddle of wine.)

Customer: “Thanks for that.”

Me: “No worries; it happens. There we go, all cleaned up! Hope you enjoy the rest of your meal.”

Customer: *pretentiously* “What? Aren’t you going to replace my glass? I was drinking sav blanc.”

Me: “That’ll be [price] for the new glass, then, please.”

(I work at a really casual restaurant where you have to pay first at the counter, rather than pay after your meal, although for things like this we can take cash or card and get it for them.)

Customer: “You actually want me to pay? My glass just broke!”

Me: “You want us to replace your mostly empty drink for free after a glass just smashed? I’m not going to do that, sorry.”

Customer: “Seriously? Can I speak to a manager, please?”

Me: “The manager’s not in at the moment, but I’m the supervisor for tonight.”

Customer: “Well, I think you’re being really unreasonable! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Sorry you feel that way, but you’re free to contact our manager or corporate if you want. Is there anything else you need?”

(She left in a s*** mood, but not my problem. Maybe if she had been nice rather than demanding, I would have replaced it.)

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Should Also Sell Them A Copy Of “The Book Thief”

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2020

(An old lady was seen stealing some diaries from our discount bookshop recently, so our manager has warned us to keep an eye on her next time she comes in. She comes in a couple of days later, so I go up to her and hover really obviously to let her know I am watching her. She starts to take one of the diaries out of its wrapper, and this is the conversation that ensues.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Old Lady: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m cleaning the diaries.”

Old Lady:I know your boss! I come here all the time! I buy lots of diaries!” 

Me: “Okay.”

Old Lady: “There’s not many here.”

Me: “Well, that’s because someone keeps stealing them.”

Old Lady: *nervous laughter* 

(I intimidated her so much that she bought four diaries.)

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Has Friendly Twenty-Twenty Vision  

, , , , , | Working | February 6, 2020

(I am on holiday with two of my friends. Two of us are the same age and of similar height and build; the third is three years older than us and a bit taller than we are. We head to the hotel restaurant one morning.)

Older Friend: “Just three for breakfast, please.”

Cashier: *looking at the three of us and clearly taking the older friend to be our mother* “How old are the girls?”

Me: *annoyed because we’re probably older than the cashier* “Twenty!”

Cashier: “…”

(The thing is, I checked their menu options and they didn’t seem to have a children’s menu, so to this day I don’t understand why she even asked. Maybe we looked cute?)

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Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

, , , , , , | Working | January 31, 2020

(When I am twelve, we move to Australia for about a year for my dad’s job. As a twelve-year-old boy, I naturally love to get fast food at a particular burger chain. Unfortunately, I am a bit of a picky eater as a child and only like my burger to have ketchup and pickles on it. But, for some reason, when I am in Australia, I can never get the right toppings on my burger. Maybe it’s my accent?)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a [Kids’ Meal] with a burger but just ketchup and pickles on the burger.”

Worker: *looks at me strangely* “Do you want the bun?”

Me: “Um, yes, I would like it with a bun.”

(I get my burger and unwrap it. There is a bun, there is ketchup, and there are pickles. But there’s no meat, no burger. I take it back to the counter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I asked for a burger with just ketchup and pickles and I seem to have gotten a burger with no burger.”

Worker: “Oh! I’m sorry about that. I’ll replace that for you.”

(This time I got my burger and unwrapped it to find that it did, indeed, have a burger but it also had all the toppings. I really didn’t want to make a fuss at that point, so I just ate the fries and drink. I was still hungry but I was too embarrassed to go back to the chain, so I went across the food court to an independent burger place. I decided not to risk custom ordering this time and just asked for a plain burger, figuring I could add ketchup to it from the dispenser. I got my burger and unwrapped it only to find that it had ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, tomato, lettuce, and beetroot on it. At that point, I gave up and went home to eat. I told my dad about it later and he said that a plain burger probably meant one without egg on it. Aussies are weird. From then on, I was very precise in my orders. “I’d like a burger with just ketchup, pickles, meat, and the bun, please.”)

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Giving Staff Discounts While You Can

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2020

(We are closing down and our “reduced to clear, everything must go” sale has started. All staff in the store are losing their jobs so the mood is not great, on top of having to manage the chaos that is happening all around. The store is a mess and the line of customers is going out the door. The owners of the company want to take all the full-priced stock off the shelves so people don’t try to get it at the sale price. A customer comes in with her two daughters and husband.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “Good, just wondering if you have some shoes for me that are for my daughters? I put them on hold last week and [Coworker] said I could pick them up today.”

(We are not supposed to hold shoes longer than two days, but I check in the office anyway. There are two pairs but they are full-priced stock. I go back to the customer with the shoes.)

Me: “I think I found the ones you are talking about; are these the ones?”

Customer: “Yep! That’s them.”

Me: “Excellent, and they fit well?”

Daughters: “Yeah, we tried them last week.”

Me: “Great. I’ll just let you know now: these will not be on sale like the other stock. Because you put them aside before the sale started and they are the core range, I can’t put them through at the sale price.”

Customer: “Oh, no, that’s fine, just put them through at the staff discount price.”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry, but as store policy, I cannot do that. As I explained—”

Customer: “I don’t want them at the sale price; [Coworker] said I could have them for staff discount.”

(This is very unlikely, so I check with my coworker.)

Coworker: “Oh, yeah, I remember her. I never told her that; she asked me about six times, though. I said if she needed them to be put aside a while until she had the money I could; that’s why they’ve been out here so long. Maybe I should talk to her.”

(She leaves to talk to them while I tend to another customer. When I return to the customer, she is shouting at my coworker. Her husband is looking very embarrassed.)

Customer: *to me* “SHE LIED TO ME! SHE SAID SHE WOULD DO IT AND NOW YOU WON’T DO IT FOR ME! MY KIDS NEED THESE SHOES FOR SCHOOL! THIS IS POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE!”

(She continues to complain about how she’s getting ripped off. I think about it for a minute, weighing up the fact that we’re losing our jobs and I don’t have the patience today to deal with this kind of customer, and make a snap decision.)

Me: “F*** it. You can have them for the staff discount.”

(She goes quiet, shocked at either my outburst or the fact she’s getting her way. The husband takes a chance to speak up.) 

Customer’s Husband: “Really, you don’t have to. Won’t you get in trouble? Isn’t it store policy?”

Me: “What are they going to do? Fire me?”

(At this remark, my coworker bursts out laughing.)

Coworker: “Good point!”

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