How Can I Frame This Differently?

, , , , , | Right | March 19, 2020

Customer: “Can I take a frame out of the box to see what size it is?”

Me: “No, but I can find out the size for you.”

(I do a quick examination of the box.)

Me: “The size is 8×11.”

Customer: “There’s no way that’s 8×11.”

(She then opens the box! My coworker’s jaw and mine both hit the floor.)

Customer: “I know you said I couldn’t open it but I have to verify the size.” 

(Once she had “verified the size,” she then began trying to stuff the frame back into the box. It wouldn’t fit. She began to get frustrated and grabbed another box and asked to purchase it. I started off the ringing process, and while she wasn’t looking, I wrapped the opened box and frame and slipped it into her bag without her noticing. It was my small revenge for the lady who couldn’t care less about what I had to say.)

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Drink Responsibly, Work Less So

, , , , | Working | February 19, 2020

Years ago, I worked in the liquor department of a national chain and the assistant manager called me on my day off to see if I could work.

“Nope,” I said gleefully. “I’m on my third beer; you know the law.” He grumbled, but he understood.

The next day, I was talking to one of the non-liquor clerks and told her about it. Her face lit up and she said, “That’s great! I’m using that the next time they call me!”

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Speeding Through The Signs

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2020

(A fellow airman and I are currently working at a gate visitor control center where we issue passes to get on base. We see a lady come in with a look of superiority.)

Me: “Good morning. How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi. I just have a quick question.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “How long has that sign been there.” *points to a speed sign and a caution sign on the way out of the base*

Me: “The speed sign?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, at least since March of 2007 when I arrived here.”

Customer: “No, it hasn’t! That sign is recent! I want to know when you put it up!”

Coworker: “Did you get a speeding ticket?”

Customer: “Yes, I did, and I know you guys just put it up so you could trap people!”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, I can tell you that it has been there for years, but if you want to fight your ticket you can follow the instructions on the back of your citation. There is nothing we can do here.”

Customer: “Fine! But I’m telling everyone that you guys are trapping innocent motorists!” *starts to walk out*

Coworker & Me: “Okay, Have a good day.”

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They Will Never Be A Bean Counter

, , , | Right | February 7, 2020

Customer: “How much are your beans?”

Me: “Twenty cents a pound.”

Customer: “Well, which ones are on sale, five pounds for a dollar?”

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Crying At The Checkout Is Understandable

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2020

(This happens during a cold winter. I’m working the speedy checkout. The store is not too busy so it’s mostly just one customer at a time. My current customer is a mom with two very young children: one still a baby and the other no older than three. My job before this was at a community center watching over kids where, just like teachers, we can get in HUGE trouble for touching kids even if they initiate it and just want a hug, so I’m always extra careful around kids at any job just out of habit.)

Me: “All right, that’ll be [total] today.”

Customer: *frantically checking in her purse* “Oh, shoot! I left my wallet in the car.”

(She looks desperately at children and then towards exit, and I can see she’s thinking about how much of a hassle it will be to bundle up both the kids to go outside just to get her wallet to come back here and pay.)

Customer: “Can I leave them here with you for just one second?”

Me: *understanding but taken aback* “Uh, yeah, I guess—”

Customer: *runs off to quickly grab her wallet*

Me: “—if you trust a complete stranger to do that.”

Baby: *starts crying IMMEDIATELY after the mom is out of sight as her brother sits in the back staring at her*

Me: *hovers around the baby trying to get her to calm down* “Don’t worry, your mom will be right back. It’s going to be okay. I know, it’s really scary that she left, but she won’t be long.”

(My coworker at the other speedy check is looking back on me due to the loud wailing.)

Coworker: “Where’s their mother?!”

Me: *seeing security eyeing me, shouting to be heard* “She went to get her wallet! She should be back soon!”

Coworker: “I hope she does come back!”

Me: *suddenly panicked at not even having considered this*

(Fortunately, the mom did come back a minute later and her poor baby immediately calmed down, and I did not get any customers in my line during the time. Probably turned away due to the crying baby!)

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