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Turning The Stupid Up To Eleven, Part 2

, , , | Right | April 20, 2021

Customer: “I want a number eleven.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but we don’t have a number eleven; we only have six combos. Could you tell me what meal you’re trying to order?”

Customer: *Scoffs* “It’s a number eleven!”

Me: *Gesturing up at our menu board* “There is no number eleven on our menu, sorry.”

Customer: “Ugh! [Rival Company] understands what I want when I say number eleven. Why don’t you?!”

I pause after that bit of stupid concussed me.

Me: “Ma’am, [Rival Company] is a different restaurant with an entirely different menu.”

Customer: “Ugh! Forget it!” *Storms out*

Turning The Stupid Up To Eleven

The Writing’s On The Wall… Er… Desk

, , , , , | Learning | March 22, 2021

I’m a parent volunteer at my kids’ school library. I’ve done this for years and am trusted by the teachers. One day, the third-grade teacher across the hall asks me to watch her kids so she can use the bathroom. She tells me that they are taking a test and need to be absolutely silent.

Less than a minute later, one kid starts to act up. I sternly say his name and tell him to stop it. His eyes widen.

Student: “How do you know my name?”

Me: “I’m a Mom; I know everything.”

The whole class was looking at me with the most hilarious scared expressions on their faces as the teacher breezed back in. Every kid had their name in their handwriting taped to the top of their desks.

It’s Your Money, But You’re HER Son!

, , , , , | Learning | January 27, 2021

I work every Tuesday at my kid’s middle school store. An eighth-grader that I know comes up and asks for $13 worth of gummy fruit snacks.

Me: “That’s a lot of fruit snacks. Are you going to share with all your friends?”

Eighth-Grader: “No, I’m eating them all for lunch.”

Me: “But you have braces, and I’m going to see your Mom on Friday. Do you think she’ll want to hear this?”

Eighth-Grader: “I don’t care; it’s my money.”

Friday, I see his mom and tell her. 

Mom: “So, that’s why he had a stomach ache and wouldn’t eat dinner!”

No Cream Or Sugar Is Sweetening This Guy’s Attitude

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2021

A man comes through the drive-thru and orders coffee and a sandwich. We’re not a place that makes the coffee how you want; we just put cream and sugar in the bag. He comes to the window to pay.

Me: “Do you need cream or sugar?”

Customer: “No, it’s fine by itself.”

About three minutes later, he comes into the store, angrily asking for a manager.

Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

He shoves his coffee at her.

Customer: “What do you think is wrong with my coffee?!”

It looks like simple, plain black coffee.

Manager: “What do you think is wrong with it, sir?

Customer: “When I order coffee, I expect these idiots to make it exactly how I want it. This is black; I need my coffee with lots of sugar and cream! I want a refund! This is bulls***!”

My manager points over to the coffee stuff.

Manager: “Why don’t you go make it yourself, idiot?”

You’ll Want To Take A Shower After This One

, , , , , , | Working | October 13, 2020

This happened recently at our local grocery store during the health crisis.

This store has been great at protecting staff and customers. You must wear a mask in the store, they sanitize the carts and belts between customers, and the cashiers stand behind plastic barriers.

The other day, I was waiting in line behind another customer. The customer left and I noticed the cashier didn’t wipe down the belt.

Okay, no big deal; we all forget sometimes. I loaded my stuff anyway and moved up to pay.

I noticed the cashier had the sniffles. Umm, okay, maybe it’s allergies. I have them, too.

We got to the last of my stuff. The cashier started pulling on her mask and then kept touching my stuff without using sanitizer. I started getting a little concerned.

She scanned the last of my stuff, and then she pulled her mask down to her chin, coughed into her hand, and then reached over to the belt to move an open bag of grapes that an older man had placed on the belt behind my stuff. Then, with the same hand, she grabbed my receipt and tried to hand it to me.

Yeah, I definitely did not take my receipt that day. I usually don’t sanitize my groceries, but I did that day. I’m sorry about the older guy behind me if the cashier was really sick. I haven’t seen her since.