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Now We Know Why Bob Retired

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2010

Me: “Your total comes to $15.49.”

Customer: “Don’t I get a discount?”

Me: “Are you in the military or a member of our frequent shopper club?”

Customer: “I’m in the club. I shop here all the time.”

Me: “Great! I should be able to find you in our database and apply your discount. What is your last name?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not in your computer but I know I get a discount. I shop here all the time and I’m a senior citizen.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t have a senior discount, but I’d be happy to help you join our frequent shopper club.”

Customer: “You don’t have a senior discount?!” *she turns to an older couple in line behind her* “Did you hear that? These people don’t respect the seniors in this community! This is outrageous! I shop here all the time. I’m a senior. I should get a discount. Let me talk to Bob!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Bob retired four years ago.”

Customer: “Okay, then, I need to speak with Claudia. She and I are very close.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with a Claudia.”

Customer: “Well, you need to ask someone who’s not new.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been here three years, but let me check.”

(I call my manager, who’s been here forever.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I just spoke with my manager, and she said that Claudia passed away in 2005.”

Customer: “She’s dead?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, do I get a discount? I shop here all the time!”


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The Problem Was Licked

, , , | Right | March 10, 2010

(I am troubleshooting with a customer. I notice the liquid damage indicator is red, which means it has been exposed to liquid.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but your warranty is void since the phone has been exposed to liquid.”

Customer: “No, it hasn’t! I’ve never dropped it in water.”

Me: “That sticker only turns red when it has been exposed to moisture.”

Customer: “Well then, of course it’s red. I licked it!”

Me: “Unfortunately, that would count as liquid damage.”

Customer: “That’s stupid! I just wanted to see if it really works!”


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