A major storm has swept through the northeast. I am in a dine-in movie theatre with my girlfriend. The movie is almost over and our server has just collected our credit cards. A few minutes later, the server comes back and makes an announcement.

Server:
“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. Our card readers are currently offline. We’re trying to get them up as soon as possible. In the meantime, if you would rather pay with cash, please come with me to the front.”

We’re not in a rush so we decide to wait; however, the woman in front of us shows a little less patience.

Woman:
*Shouting* “This is ridiculous! Our power is out, and our dogs are worried sick. I have to get home right now! I demand to speak to your manager!”

The woman and her husband are escorted to the front by our server. No more than five minutes later, our server comes back with our checks. As we’re walking out, I see the couple from our theater talking to the manager. I tell my girlfriend to go on ahead while I speak to the manager.

Me:
“Excuse me, ma’am? I was sitting behind you in the theater. I thought I’d let you know that everyone else is on their way home now, while you’re still here complaining. And if your dogs are so important to you, then maybe you should think twice before leaving them in the dark while you go out to see a two-hour-long movie. I hope you realize how petty your complaints are and that you’ve gained nothing from them.”

The manager smirked, the woman was left speechless, and her husband hung his head in embarrassment. I left without hearing another word from them.

(I have a tendency to get a bit fidgety or distracted, which often makes shopping when I am in a bit of a rush a difficult task. When Apple comes out with those little wireless earbuds, I realize that I can just keep them in while I go through the store, since music has always helped me. As I use the self-checkout lines whenever possible, I usually leave the earbuds in even as I’m heading up to pay, which is what I do on this particular day at [Major Retail Store], where the lines are very long due to the holiday, even at the self-check. The cashier supervising the self-check is actually checking customers out as well as watching the machines, and when I’m next to go over she beckons me over to her station.)

Me: *pulling one of my earbuds out and shoving it into my pocket* “Sorry about that. I usually take them out if I go to a regular cashier line.”

Cashier: “No problem.” *laughs* “At least you were paying attention to the line movements.”

(We’re very close to the line still waiting, and while we’ve been talking she’s been scanning the few items I have. The next person in line, a man who’s barely thirty, suddenly speaks up.)

Customer: “She shouldn’t have been served at all. Anybody who walks around with those things in their ears all day deserves to wait until they learn some respect.”

(The cashier and I exchange a confused look.)

Cashier: “Um… sir, she was next in line, and she responded immediately when I called for her.”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter! If she’s going to be rude, she should shop online like everyone else her age.”

(I suddenly realize that the earbud I’ve left in is in the ear turned towards him.)

Me: “Sir, you realize that I took my left earbud out, right? That stopped my music automatically. I only left this one in because I was hurrying, so I didn’t waste anyone’s time… or be rude.”

Customer: “If you didn’t want to be rude, you would interact with the world like a normal human being!”

(I’m really not sure how to respond at this point, and the cashier looks just as baffled as she mutters how much my total is. I turn away from the other customer to use my credit card, which somehow makes him madder.)

Customer: “Oh! Now you’re just going to ignore me? Typical teenagers!”

(He stomps off to one of the self-checks, which he has left sitting open for at least a full minute while he rants at me. I look at the cashier, still a bit bewildered.)

(I work in a state where my employer, due to stricter liquor laws, does not sell alcoholic products in their stores in my state. I am ringing at the tills, and we have a slow period. During this time, a customer approaches my till.)

Customer: “Whhereh is your alchkoholll?!”

Me: “Alcohol?”

Customer: “Yeshhh… Beeeerr?!”

(Noticing that he is from Florida, where they sell liquor in this chain of stores, I answer:)

Me: “I’m sorry. But we don’t sell alcohol here, in this state.”

Customer: “Oh…” *sad, crestfallen puppy face*

(He wandered away, weaving a bit through lines of tills, and I decided to keep an eye on him, since I was the only male cashier up front. Finally, he spotted a bag of plain old potato crisps. Eyes darting from his head, he rushed over to the display. Picking up the bag lovingly, he held it gently to his nose and inhaled. Putting the bag down, he now wore an enraptured look of sheer joy and ecstasy as he walked the whole way out of the store.)

(A woman with two children comes into the children’s room.)

Customer: “My daughter needs to read a picture book for summer reading. Where are the picture books?”

Me: “They’re on the left side, all along the walls.” *sees that her daughter is already reading one of the picture books that we had on display* “Actually, your daughter already has one, so you don’t need to look for another.”

Customer: “No, that’s not a picture book. It has words!”

Me: “Picture books have words.”

Customer: “Then why do they call them picture books?”

Me: “Because they usually have large pictures.”

Customer: “Well, what do you call books without words?”

Me: “Wordless books.”

Customer: “But picture books don’t have words, so they’re the same thing.” *to her daughter* “Stop reading that; you need to read a picture book!”

Me: “Your daughter is reading a picture book, and picture books do have words.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t make any sense!”

Me: “Wordless books are books without words. Picture books have large pictures and are meant to be read to younger kids. That’s why they’re good for your third-grade child’s summer reading project.”

Customer: “Fine, but I still think that’s misleading. How does the school expect me to find all these things for her?”

(I am a deli employee and we are not required to wear a uniform. I have a tank top on under my shirt and some leggings.)

Customer: *in a hushed voice* “Miss… miss… I think you had an accident.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “There is a stain on the back of your dress.”

(I am wearing a long tank-top clearly visible from the bottom of my shirt.)

Me: *pulls shirt around to look* “That’s just dirt. This is a deli. I am cleaning. There are also stains on my pants.”

(There are some dirt stains also on the front of my leggings.)

Customer: “It’s okay; don’t be embarrassed. Maybe the apron will cover it. You should go into the bathroom, though.”

(I’m getting a little irritated as I found it mildly rude for her to comment.)

Me: “Sorry, I am going back to work now.”

(The customer sat at the table for another twenty minutes obnoxiously staring at me. I ended up hiding in the back until she left.)