(It has recently snowed outside our restaurant, and the sidewalks have been cleared.)

Manager: *to new cashier* “Could you please go out there and salt the sidewalks?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

(I see the cashier enter the kitchen and take a tin shaker. I don’t give it much thought until the cook starts looking around the fry area rather puzzled. We put two and two together and approach the manager.)

Me: “What did you send him to do?”

Manager: “I sent him to salt the sidewalks to avoid accidents.”

Me: “Really? Then why did he take the salt shaker? [Cook] is looking for it, I think.”

(The manager gives me a strange look, and then goes outside to check on cashier.)

Manager: “What are you doing?!”

Cashier: “Putting salt on the sidewalks?”

Manager: “Not with that salt! You’ll use it all up!”

(The cashier had been trying to salt the entire sidewalk with the little salt shaker we use for the fries. No wonder it was taking him so long!)

(This happened during one of our new hire’s first shifts. We are beginning to see that it isn’t going to work out.)

Coworker: *shouting from the back of the store* “Uh, we have a problem!”

Me: “What happened?!”

Coworker: “I spilled the mop bucket all over the floor.”

Me: “Oh, that’s not a big deal. I thought you hurt yourself or something.”

Coworker: “How do I clean it up?”

Me: “…With the mop?”

Coworker: “Oh, okay!”

(Fifteen minutes later, I go investigate why my coworker hasn’t reappeared and find water still all over the floor.)

Me: “I thought you cleaned this up.”

Coworker: “The mop stopped soaking up the water, so I used a whole roll of paper towels!”

Me: *facepalm*

(I am in my car, ordering at the drive-thru speaker. The employee waiting on me seems to be in training.)

Me: “Number 11 with a Coke, please.”

Employee: “Okay… uh… 11. Coke… Is that for here or to go?”

Me: “I’m… in my car?”

Employee: “Oh. Drive up to the next window, please.”

(I work the concession stand in a movie theater.)

Me: “Good afternoon! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Is Justin Bieber working today?”

Me: *very confused* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Is Justin Bieber working here today?”

Me: “Justin Bieber has a record contract across the pond. Why would he work here?”

Customer: “Guess not then.”

(The customer and two friends leave. A couple of hours later, a lanky teenager with hair very much like Bieber’s comes down to the concessions stand.)

Me: “Sorry, but do your friends call you Justin Bieber?”

New Employee: *exasperated* “Yes, why?”

Me: “They were here not that long ago, but I didn’t realize they were talking about someone that looks like Justin Bieber.”