I Fold You So!

, , , , | Right | December 31, 2018

(It’s Saturday. My store has hundreds of people coming through. I can’t fold every piece of clothing, especially if there’s a line of customers at every register.)

Me: “How are you today? Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring up their items, sort of fold them, and place them in a bag.)

Customer: *scoffs* “That’s the one thing they don’t teach at [Store]: how to fold things.”

(She proceeded to fold each article of clothing while I stood there staring at her, receipt in hand. The next customer had already put their items on the counter.)

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Unfiltered Story #134099

, , | Unfiltered | December 21, 2018

(my shift for the day is close to ending, and I’ve had a particularly rough day.)
customer: (somewhat rudely) excuse me! Can you get this printer for me?
Me: suuuure  (not understanding why she couldn’t pick up the 15lbs box herself. I bring it to the register as she follows).
Customer: i need the ink for it too.
me: yea I’ll get that too (now more irritated for thinking this lady is just being lazy).
As i bring her the ink, the customer thanks me for my help and holds out her hand to shake mine, something most customers never do.
customer: go get yourself a beer after this. Retail sucks.
i open my hand to find a $5 bill.
Me: ma’am,  i can’t accept ti-
Customer: no! You get yourself a drink! Have a great day!
She totally made my day.

Breaking Bad At Math

, , , , , | Learning | December 15, 2018

(I work as an assistant in a high school, helping in classes with kids who need extra assistance. On this day I am in a math class, assisting a freshman boy who isn’t one of the students I am assigned to; because of his immaturity, he tends to spend class time joking and goofing off and then needs help catching up. I am walking him through a problem when he suddenly interrupts with one of his jokes.)

Student: “I don’t need to learn math; I’m going to be a drug dealer and make mad bank!”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Oh! Well, then, you definitely need math; how else will you know who owes you money?”

(The look on his face was priceless, and he and I got along just fine for the rest of my time working in that class. He was failing at the start of the year but later went on to get a passing grade!)

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It’s Not Big Easy Staying Alive

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2018

(In 2012, I’m getting ready to move to Louisiana with my boyfriend, and as the moving date gets closer, I’m excited enough that I’ve started yapping about it to customers every so often. Most of them have fairly generic, “Good for you,” “Have fun,” and, “Aw, romance,” type responses. Some of them suggest specific restaurants and attractions I should visit if I’m in the right area. However, one guy’s advice sticks out to me in particular.)

Customer: “Stay away from New Orleans. That’s a murder city.”

(My now-husband’s father lives in New Orleans, and we visit him regularly. I’m pretty sure I haven’t been murdered yet.)

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Looks Lick The Wrong Job

, , , , , , | Working | November 27, 2018

(I’ve been applying for jobs and have gotten an interview at a gas station, specifically for the night shift. The woman interviewing me is very casual and laid-back, which makes me feel very comfortable about the position.)

Interviewer: “And you do get a few strange folk during the night, but nothing too creepy. One guy asked to lick me because he wanted to know if I taste as sweet as I look.”

(She seemed completely unconcerned about the incident, and even laughed. I left the interview with no intention of ever working a gas station, anywhere.)

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