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This Story Starts With A Tornado And Gets Worse

, , , , , , | Right | May 28, 2021

Caller: “Why are you advertising tours that aren’t available?

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Caller: “I booked an excursion on a boat with my wife for our anniversary, and when I arrived, they said they weren’t doing any more tours! We both took two days off work for this cruise, got up at two in the morning, and drove seven hours for nothing!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry about that—”

Caller: “This is your fault! You advertised something that wasn’t even available! I want a refund and two vouchers for a free tour of our choice!”

Me: “Let me call the tour operator and find out what happened—”

Caller: “They even told me that they called you and specifically told you that they weren’t offering the tour anymore and asked you to remove the advertisement!”

That’s a lie. Tour vendors are responsible for the accuracy of the information posted on our portal, and THEY are responsible for removing any service that has been discontinued. Our company simply makes the booking and sends the vendor the proceeds, minus the commission.

Me: “Let me call them—”

Caller: “How about you just give me two free tours and I’ll let you keep your job?”

Me: *Flipping off the phone* “Please hold.”

I call the vendor. They called the customer to inform them that the boat trip had been cancelled because of a TORNADO WARNING, and the customer threw a screaming fit, despite being sent two tickets by the vendor on their dime.

Me: “Okay, thank you for holding. We do apologize, but these circumstances were out of our control.”

I explain the obvious safety reasons.

Me: “I’ve gone ahead and put your refund through.”

Caller: “And you have nothing to offer to make up for the seven hours I drove, and the time I took off for work just for this cruise?”

Me: “Aside from the fact that you were already given two free vouchers by the vendor for their services, I’m seriously curious as to why on earth you and your wife would take time off of work, get up at two in the morning, and drive seven hours for — according to the ticket information — a forty-minute long boat trip for $10?”

Caller: *Click*

Rental Mental

, , , , , | Right | February 6, 2021

During college, I work for a once-popular video rental store. There are coupons going around online for a free video rental. Usually, there is no problem with this, but one day, an older couple comes into our store to rent a movie.

Me: “Hello! I see you’ve found a movie. Do you have an account with us?”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t. We have a coupon for a free movie! We want to use it.”

He hands me the printed-out coupon.

Me: “Sure thing! We just need an account so you can rent that—”

Female Customer: “What? We aren’t renting it! We have a coupon for a free movie!

Me: *Confused* “But you are still renting it. You are taking a DVD that belongs to this store home. We need to make you an account if you don’t have one so that I can rent the movie to you.”

Male Customer:No! You don’t understand! We aren’t renting anything! We are taking this movie home, and no! I will not create an account with your stupid store!”

Me: “You have to return it, though. We need your phone number and name so we know who has the DVD.”

Male Customer: *Getting angry*No! This is a free movie coupon. Free! We will take it home and return it if we want to!”

Me: “No. That’s not how this works. You are still renting the DVD. We, the company, own that DVD. You are basically borrowing it for a period of time that the company sets, coupon or no. Now. I would gladly make you an account, but if you don’t want to make one, then I cannot let you take the movie with you. I’m sorry.”

Female Customer: “Well, I never!

They stormed out, giving me the stink eye the entire time.

Don’t You Just Love The Smell Of Entitlement In The Morning?

, , , | Right | November 6, 2020

My grandma works part-time as a cashier at a small farm where people can pick their own fruit and the like. In the store area where my grandma works, there is a station where my grandma occasionally puts out free coffee for customers. Mornings can be chilly in New Hampshire, even in summer, but now that we’re well into July it is so hot by the time the store opens that my grandma no longer bothers making coffee.

An older woman comes into the store and heads right for the coffee station, and on seeing that it is empty, walks right up to the register where my grandma is helping a line three people deep.

Customer: “Excuse me, there’s no coffee.”

Grandma: “Yes, we’ve stopped putting out coffee because it’s so hot that nobody drank it and we had to keep throwing it away.”

Customer: “You should have coffee.”

Grandma: “Well, as I said, no one was drinking it because it’s hot out, so…”

Customer: “You should make iced coffee.”

Grandma: “I’m not sure we’d be able to. It would probably melt.”

Customer: “Then you should get a Keurig.”

The woman continued badgering on about the coffee while my grandma attempted to finish serving the actual paying customers in line. Finally, the woman left without buying anything. Some people…

And That’s How The Digital Cookie Crumbles

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2020

We handle technical support for the guest Wi-Fi at a number of large hotel chains.

Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, your Internet is very slow. You guys need to clean it out.” 

Me: “Okay, well, if you can help me gather a little information, I’d be happy to troubleshoot that for you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time for that; I’m very busy. Can’t you just fix it up?”

Me: “I can certainly see what I can do, but I’m going to need a little more information.”

Customer: “Ugh! I’m not a computer geek. You’re supposed to do that stuff. I don’t have time for this.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but feel free to give us a call when you do have a few moments to spare so we can see about the speed issue.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, you guys should just clean out your cookies or whatever!” *Click*

And That’s How The Scam-Cookie Crumbles
And That’s How The Not-Free Cookie Crumbles
And That’s How The Entitlement Cookie Crumbles
And That’s How The Calorie-Counting Crumbles
And That’s How The Cookie Epically Crumbles

Deaf To Reason, Part 12

, , , , , | Right | September 29, 2020

I’m a cashier at my local grocery store. I’m partially deaf in both ears so I wear hearing aids. I live in a small town so most people know each other and they know about my hearing aids. This man wasn’t familiar to anybody, so I know he isn’t from around the town.

I’m checking out a customer when the man comes up in line not really paying attention. The customer I’m helping leaves and the man is next up. I’m extremely pale; I could pass for albino at this point.

Me: “Welcome to [Grocery Store]. Did you find everything you needed?”

The customer looks up at me and starts getting visibly angry.

Customer: “Take those out of your ears, you disrespectful n*****!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry? Take what out of my ears?”

Customer: “Those d*** earphones! All you kids are so disrespectful to your elders! D*** n*****s, don’t you know it ain’t polite to keep them in?! Where is your manager?! Does he know you’re being rude to customers?”

I realize he is talking about my hearing aids.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but these aren’t earphones. I’m partially deaf so I wear hearing aids.”

This guy wasn’t having it. Before anyone could do anything, he leapt over the counter and ripped them out of my ears, breaking both of them. He was immediately escorted out by some patrons in the store, all the while screaming about disrespectful kids.

I stood at my counter teary-eyed, looking at my broken hearing aids, which are not cheap. Then, the next customer in line looked at the ground and saw he had dropped his wallet. We ended up calling the police and he forcibly paid for my new hearing aids. Safe to say, I am no longer a cashier, but I still go to that grocery store and I’m always greeted with a joking, “Take your earphones out!” by the employees.

Deaf To Reason, Part 11
Deaf To Reason, Part 10
Deaf To Reason, Part 9
Deaf To Reason, Part 8
Deaf To Reason, Part 7