Falling Into Place

, , , , , | Romantic | August 16, 2019

(My grandparents are riding their bicycles and the path goes over a stream. My grandma’s front wheel catches on a rut and she goes over the handlebars. She ends up rolling down the embankment of the stream, and if it wasn’t for the help of an elderly couple nearby, she would have rolled into the water. As soon as they make sure my grandma is safe, the man turns to his wife and says:)

Man: “See, [Wife]? Women are still falling for me.”

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The Greatest Anthem Is The One Sung Together

, , , , , , | Hopeless | July 18, 2019

For the past ten months, I have participated in a volunteer program at an educational non-profit. At the end of our term of service, we have a graduation ceremony with our families, alumni, sponsors, and several high-profile government figures including the mayor and a senator. Two of our members are going to sing the national anthem before the ceremony begins. They sound amazing during rehearsal, but of course, that changes when the theater is full of people.

They start out really strong, but about halfway through, one of the members loses her pitch. The other keeps going and she tries to regain her footing, but it’s obvious that she’s getting flustered.

A few people let out supportive cheers. Then suddenly, someone in the audience begins to sing along. Soon, everyone else in the theater joins in singing the national anthem, and the member finishes the song on a perfect note.

Everyone in the room bursts into applause. Many of my fellow members are crying or holding back tears because we are so moved. 

It had been a lengthy and difficult year of service which tested many of us in ways we’d never imagined, and it can feel incredibly draining to work so hard for the betterment of your community when you can’t necessarily see the results of all your work. But seeing how all these strangers came together to lift up one of our volunteers, even in a small way, reminded us of what an amazing community we belong to.


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Unable To Protest(ant) That Point

, , , , , | Related | July 9, 2019

(My 21-year-old sister and I are talking about religion, and I bring up an annoying coworker of mine. Note that although I am an atheist, we were raised Protestant and my sister still goes to church occasionally.)

Me: “[Coworker] thinks that the only reason I’m not Christian is that I had a bad pastor growing up. Our pastor was great; I just don’t believe in the religion. It’s so annoying.”

Sister: “You know we’re not Christian, right? We’re Protestant.”

(Cue long silence while I try to see if she’s messing with me…)

Me: “[Sister]… Protestant is Christian.”

Sister: “What? No, it’s not. Christian is Catholic.”

Me: “Christianity is a type of religion, and Catholic and Protestant are denominations. There’s also Baptist, Methodist, Orthodox… What did you think they were?”

Sister: “I… I don’t know.”

(The real kicker is that the word “Christian” is IN THE NAME OF OUR CHURCH.)

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Unfiltered Story #157504

, , | Unfiltered | July 8, 2019

(My store gets a lot of foreigners coming through who don’t really speak or read English well so we have to kind of guess what it is they want. One day I was a cashier on an express register (10 items or less) and an Asian woman comes through and puts her 4 items on the belt. I scan them through)

Me: Alright, that’ll be $24.29

Woman: No, too expensive. Take it off.

Me: What would you like me to take off ma’am?

Woman: Pears say $0.99 each!

Me: No ma’am, I assure you that in the 2 years I’ve worked here that they have never been sold individually.

Woman: Fine, whatever. Take it off!

(I take off the pears)

Me: Alright that’ll be $22.28 now.

Woman: Better. (she rummages through her purse and pulls out a wad of cash. She proceeds to hand me a $100 bill. I just stood there staring at it before giving her her change.)

Unfiltered Story #156859

, , | Unfiltered | July 6, 2019

(I work at a grocery store chain that’s pretty big here. Our competitors went on strike so our business is crazier than normal. I am ringing out a customer who has a week’s worth of groceries. I finish ringing her out and I begin to bag her items. The customer behind her has a bottle of Soda.)

Customer Behind: Yo, hurry the f*** up! I’m very busy!

Me: I’m sorry sir, I’ll be right with you once I finish bagging her order.

Customer Behind: *Starts pacing back and forth like a caged animal* Listen I’ve got to get the f*** out of here. Hurry the f*** up!

Me: *turns to customer I’m helping* I apologize for this. He apparently doesn’t know how to wait in line.

(The customer leaves and I cash him out)

Me: That’ll be $1.75

Customer: The f***? That’s too expensive. Nah, you’re playin.

Me: I’m sorry sir that’s the price.

Customer: Man this is some bullsh**. *Storms off and out of the store after snatching the receipt from my hands*