Efficient At Recording Your Inefficiencies

, , , , , | Working | November 20, 2019

My mom relays this story to me. Two people at her company are getting laid off, and their direct supervisor asks my mom, another supervisor, to be in the room with him when he tells these men that they are being laid off.

The first man takes the news pretty well and is very professional about it. The second man, however, is very much not. As soon as he sits down, he seems to have an inkling as to what’s going to happen; he glares suspiciously at my mom and asks his supervisor why she’s there. The supervisor explains that she is there to assist with any inquiries he may have.

The man listens to the spiel about how the company is going in a different direction and they need to increase efficiency, yada yada. When the supervisor is done, the man sits back and says, “I’ve heard your pretty speech. Now, tell me the real reason I’m being fired.”

They go back and forth like this, with the man insisting that there has to be another reason he’s being laid off. Finally, my mom says to him, “I think [Supervisor] already told you that.”

The man grows furious and starts ranting about how he’s the most productive person on the team, the company will fail without him, etc. Then, he says that he’s been keeping a folder with all of his coworkers’ mistakes and begins listing their failures.

Finally, once he’s done his rant, the supervisor tells him he should go home for the rest of the day and a security officer comes to escort him out of the building. My mom is so disturbed by how angry he got that she suggests he not be allowed back in the building. Really, though, if you’re getting laid off for inefficiency, is it really the best idea to tell your boss that you’ve spent valuable work hours compiling a list of your coworkers’ mistakes?

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Unfiltered Story #177688

, , | Unfiltered | November 14, 2019

It’s a busy Saturday afternoon at a now out of business bookstore chain. I’m helping out on the registers during a rush. A customer comes up to pick up something on reserve. As I pick the item up from the reserve shelf, a heavier item beside it falls over and lands on my fingers. Mind, the first thing I want to do is drop a couple of F-bombs, as it really bloody hurt.

Me *through teeth clenched in pain*: “Expletive deleted. Expletive deleted. Expletive deleted.”

Everyone at the register got a chuckle out of it, and I got a chance to swear without actually swearing.

Turning Into A Complete Muenster

, , , , , | Right | November 4, 2019

Me: “What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I would like some swiss cheese.”

(When a customer doesn’t know what kind of whatever they want, I tend to narrow down the choices to just the most popular. My deli has 11 different kinds of swiss cheese.)

Me: “We have the imported, the domestic, and the reduced-fat; which would you prefer?”

Customer: “I want swiss cheese.”

Me: “We have the domestic, which is sweeter, the imported, or the reduced-fat….”

Customer: *clearly exasperated* “I don’t want sweet.”

Me: “Okay, so, imported or….”

Customer: “Why are you making this so difficult?!

(He then asked for provolone, of which we have three options, and muenster, of which we thankfully only have one.)

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The Fish Scales Are More Accurate

, , , | Right | October 4, 2019

(I work in the seafood department of a well-known grocery store chain. An elderly female customer comes to the counter to place an order.)

Customer: “I’d like one pound of the cod that’s on sale.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am.” *places the fish on the scale, and the total weight is 0.99 — just a hair under a pound* “Is this okay?”

Customer: “No, it’s too light. Try the piece in front, instead.” *note that it’s a much smaller piece*

Me: “Yes, ma’am.” *weighs it up, and it comes to .85*

Customer: “Perfect. I’ll take it.”

Me: *screams internally* “Will that be all, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.” *wanders off*

Me: *rethinking choices I’ve made in life that lead me to this job*

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Unfiltered Story #167577

, , | Unfiltered | September 20, 2019

I’m running a self service area of about eight brand new registers when this young woman and her dad show up. The woman grabs her items from the cart, and slams them against the machine, causing it to freeze.

customer: Well this machine is broken!

She then repeats this at two more machines, causing the same malfunction. I am going along behind her resetting the machines and voiding out her in progress transactions.

I call my manager over, and another customer has come, and was about to start her own transaction, but is cut off by the first customer.

customer: Dont use them, they’re all broken!

I’m not allowed to say the woman is wrong, so I just say sorry, and go back to fixing the machines.

customer: None of these f***ing machines work.

me: Well you have to be gentle with them, I’m sorry.

After a glare, and five seconds of waiting, she throws her items back in the cart and starts walking off.

customer: I’ll go find a lane to check out. I’m not f***ing waiting for someone who isnt f***ing coming.

Almost immediately after, the manager showed up, and the machines were working.