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Fighting Ignorance With Ignorance, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2011

(I am working in the clothing section of a department store when I overhear this conversation. I work with a very nice woman who moved to America from India about ten years ago.)

Mother: “Did you find everything you needed, hon?”

Child: “Yep! A really nice Indian lady helped me.”

Mother: “No, no! We don’t say Indian. We say ‘Native American.'”

Child: “No, mom, not that kind of Indian. One from India!”

Mother: “Don’t be silly, hon. We took their country from them, not gave them one.”


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Mothers Can Be A Daily Grind

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2010

(We were giving away free packages of instant coffee for promotional reasons. Each package was about the size of a sugar packet.)

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a free package of instant coffee. Would you like one?”

Customer: “How does it work?”

Me: “Just put it in a cup, and mix it with water.”

Customer: “Is the cup and water inside the package?”

Customer’s Mother: “You’re a moron.”


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Not So Smart-Phone

, , , | Right | October 1, 2010

Customer: “I’m looking for a cable to hook my [Brand] cell phone up to the computer. The plug looks like this.” *the customer shows me the broken end of a cable*

Me: “This doesn’t look like the plug for any [Brand] phone I’ve ever seen. May I see the phone?”

(The customer hands me his phone, which is a bulky, inelegant phone/camera/portable TV and very obviously not a [Brand].)

Me: “Sir, who told you this phone was a [Brand]?”

Customer: “Some guy in Boston I bought it from. See, right there is the logo.”

(The customer points to a logo on the phone that looks exactly like the logo for one of [Brand]’s famous product lines, but it is slightly modified so that one of the letters is different.)

Me: “Well, I think I see the problem. This is definitely not a [Brand]; it’s a cheap Chinese knock-off, and that logo has one of the letters changed. See?”

Customer: “Let’s look at the manual. I’ve got it here.”

(The customer begins thumbing through what looks like a photocopied manual full of tiny text written in bad English.)

Customer: “You’d think the guys at [Brand] would be able to write clearer instructions.”

Me: “Sir, I really recommend that you bring that item back if you can.”

Customer: “No way. I bought this because it’s a phone that doesn’t need the web. All they have these days are smartphones that go on the web. But I’m not smart.”

Me: “Did the guy in Boston tell you that?”

They Cry Real Tears Too

, , , | Right | September 20, 2010

(I watch as a customer unfolds every single shirt at a table, holds it up, and then puts it back. She walks to the next table and I begin refolding the shirts.)

Customer: “Oh, wow!”

Me: “Is something wrong, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, nothing. I just didn’t realize they got real people to fold the shirts!”

Bi-Curiouser and Curiouser

, , , , , , , | Right | June 30, 2010

(I am speaking Spanish to a customer at the register. I finish the transaction and see the next customer.)

Customer: *speaking loudly and slowly* “Hello! I want to pay cash!”

Me: “Find everything you need today?”

Customer: “Wow! So, you can speak English and Spanish? I didn’t think you spoke any English.”

Me: “Yes, I’m bilingual.”

Customer: “Wow! So, you speak two languages fluently and you’re gay?”

Me: “No, just bilingual.”

Customer: “I heard you the first time, silly! Lots of gay pride in you, huh?”


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