Social Insecurity, Part 4

, , | Right | July 27, 2014

(I’m one of the owners of a rental company. I had just finished setting up the unit, going over the rental agreement with the customer, and swiping his credit card on my phone.)

Me: “Okay, sir, would you like us to email you a receipt?”

Customer: “I really don’t like giving out my email address.”

Me: “…I just ran your credit card on my phone.”


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Just Brought Death To Her Career

, , , , | Working | November 11, 2013

(I’m showing a new secretary around the office. We go to get on the elevator, and when it arrives I see our chief operating officer (COO) in it. Our COO is very tall, thin, and has heavy scarring on his face.)

Me: “Good morning, Mr.—”

Secretary: “Ew, I don’t want to ride with him. Let’s take the next one.”

Me: “What?!”

Secretary: “He looks like the Grim Reaper. We’ll just take the next one.”

(The COO looks at her for a moment, then very calmly presses the ‘doors close’ button. I gape at the new secretary.)

Me: “What the h***, [Secretary]?”

Secretary: “What? He was weird-looking.”

Me: “You realize that that was the chief operating officer of the company?!”

Secretary: “Really? Ew.”

(She was fired before the end of the day.)

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Mess With My Family And You Mess With Me

, , , , | Working | June 17, 2013

(I am 19 and have been in and out of the hospital for over three months. I’ve suffered two strokes and a seizure and have had to relearn how to walk. I also can not eat or drink because I’ve developed a problem with my intestines. At the same time, my brother is graduating from the Marines, so I insist to my parents that they leave to attend. My parents still stay with me to make sure I make it out of surgery all right, and then leave. A few days later, a nurse comes in.)

Nurse “I can’t believe with as sick as you are your family just leaves you here. You’re a little girl!”

Me “Ma’am, I’m 19. I am fine. It was my choice.”

Nurse “No, it is not okay. Your family should be staying here with you. I should call protective services. I can’t believe they would just abandon you when you needed it most!”

(Note: this is the last straw for me, because I’ve been in pain all day due to a combination of physical therapy and another rude nurse.)

Me “Look, lady: you don’t know s*** about my family. My mom has slept with me almost every day she could in a cot in this d*** hospital, and my stepdad has been taking me to physical therapy. They have also made sure to give my best friend a place to stay while they’re gone and a way to get here every day to hang out with me so I’m not lonely. I am the one who told them to leave and see my brother graduate because I can’t. I am so proud of them for leaving to see their only son do something great. You don’t know me and you don’t know s*** about my family, so back the f*** off before I report you for b******g about my family when you know nothing about what is going on in my life and not doing your d*** job! GET OUT!”

(After this, she just stares at me and turns to leave, but not before muttering the following…)

Nurse “Still isn’t right… little child alone…”

(I told the nursing supervisor about the incident. The nurse was fired later that week because of that and other behavior issues.)

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Her Rules Of Thumb Suck

, , , , , | Related | May 29, 2013

(I am three years old. I have a really bad cold that is keeping me from sucking on my thumb to sleep. I go downstairs to cry to my mom.)

Me: “Mommy, I can’t suck my thumb!”

Mom: *sarcastic* “Just stick it in your ear.”

(I put my thumb in my ear.)

Me: “It’s not working!”

(My mom had to leave the room so I that I didn’t see her laugh.)

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The Real Bread Winner

, , , , , | Right | May 2, 2013

(I’m shopping at a bakery that’s known for making a unique loaf of bread. It usually sells out quickly. Due to the popularity of the item, customers are only allowed one loaf per visit. I’m in the long line when I see there are still some of the special loaves available. By the time I get to the front of the line, I see there’s two left: one for the older woman in front of me, and one for me. There are two cashiers, so I go to the second cashier as the first one helps the older woman.)

Cashier #2: “Hi! Welcome to [Bakery]. Will this be all for you today?”

Me: “Actually, can I have one of those [Special Loaves]?”

Cashier #2: “Oh, sure!”

Older Woman: “What? She can’t have that! It’s mine!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, you already have one. We can’t allow you to have another one.”

Older Woman: “It’s not for me! It’s for my daughter!”

(She then points to the woman standing behind me, who looks equally annoyed.)

Cashier #2: “We’re sorry, but we can’t hold this for her. This customer asked for it first.”

Older Woman: “But I was here first! And I’m holding one for my daughter!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, we can’t do that. It’s against store policy.”

Older Woman: “Well, in that case, I want to return everything! I don’t want to shop here if that’s how you treat your customers!”

(The older woman has purchased a lot of items, and begins to unload her bag onto the counter. At this point, the people in line behind us are getting agitated, and the cashiers are looking distraught. I roll my eyes.)

Me: “You know what? Just give it to the woman behind me.”

Cashier #2: “Are you sure?”

(I nod. The older woman gets a smug look, as she and her daughter leave the bakery with their items.)

Cashier #2: “We’re so sorry that happened, but thank you!”

Me: “It’s no problem. It wasn’t worth the drama.”

(I pay for my original items, and turn to leave when [Cashier #1] stops me.)

Cashier #1: “Hold on a second. We just pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. Would you like one?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(Not only was the bread I had delicious, but it was even fresher than the two the older woman got!)

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