About To CSI This Place

, , , , , | | Right | May 28, 2018

(I work as a liaison between a clothing company and a major retailer. At one particular store, the clothing company I work for is positioned right in the path of the bathroom. It’s been a VERY busy Saturday since the main mall bathroom is closed for renovations.)

Me: *straightening up the area*

Customer: “Excuse me, has anyone turned in a cell phone to you?”

Me: “No one has turned one over to me, but we can check with the store associates to see if maybe they had someone turn in a phone.”

Customer: “Great! I left my iPhone in the bathroom and I really need it!”

(She’s obviously pregnant and in a rush, and I want to help her get out of here, so I grab the closest associate.)

Me: “Has anyone turned in a cell phone recently?”

Associate: “No, not to my area. We should check the center just in case, and I’ll call a manager to check.”

(I walk to the center registers. No one has turned a cell phone in here, and no one has turned a cell phone in to a manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, no one has turned in a cell phone all of today.”

Customer: “I need my cell phone! I left it in your bathroom! I want to talk to a manager!”

Me: “I can call them and they’ll—”

Customer: *cuts me off and starts yelling at me* “YOU HAVE CAMERAS ON THE BATHROOM! YOU CAN SEE WHO COMES IN AND OUT! THE PERSON WHO TOOK MY PHONE MUST BE ON VIDEO! YOU NEED TO CHECK THE CAMERAS AND SEE WHO HAS MY PHONE!”

Me: “Yes. There are cameras pointed at the hallway leading to the bathrooms, but no cameras directly at the bathroom or in them.”

(She then demands to speak to “security,” but the cameras are manned by loss prevention, not security. They actually will not help with such matters unless personal safety is involved, like a lost child.)

Me: “I cannot let you speak to loss prevention. It’s not their job to keep track of people’s misplaced items.”

Customer: “I WANT YOU TO CHECK THE CAMERAS AND FIND OUT WHO STOLE MY PHONE! I SHOULD BE AT THE AIRPORT PICKING UP MY HUSBAND, AND I CAN’T CALL HIM WITHOUT MY CELL PHONE! I’M IN A HURRY! I CAME TO THE MALL TO GET MY HAIR DONE AND MY EYEBROWS THREADED, AND DO SOME BABY CLOTHES SHOPPING! I ONLY HAD TWO HOURS AND I NEED TO GO! HIS FLIGHT HAS ALREADY LANDED! I CALLED MY CELL PHONE A FEW MINUTES AGO AND IT WAS ON, BUT NOW IT’S NOT! SOMEONE HAS IT! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!”

Me: “If you want to take this up with the loss prevention manager or store manager, then I can give you the office number and you can call then be transferred to one of them, when it’s more convenient for you.”

Customer: “Yes, give me that number!”

(I write the number down, and she snatches the paper out of my hand and storms out. She calls later that day and throws a major fit when both the store manager and loss prevention manager refuse to hand over video footage. Yes. She wants ALL of the footage that could show who took her phone. Later I’m talking to a manager who had to deal with her.)

Manager: “I’m not sure what she planned on doing with the footage. Track everyone down with FBI facial recognition and interrogate them?”


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Cosplay Is Here To Stay

, , , , | | Right | May 22, 2018

(Every Saturday, I work as a professional cosplayer at an anime store inside the largest mall in town. I work with five other girls, and our job is to stand in the windows and wave to people while wearing elaborate costumes. One day at the end of my shift, a woman passes by my window and glares at me. A few minutes later, I see her enter the store and ask for my manager.)

Woman: “What are they doing in the windows?”

Manager: “Every Saturday is cosplay day; our models wear their best costumes and pose in the windows.”

Woman: *going red in the face* “They are ruining the view in the mall!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Woman: “These harlots are ruining my view! I will never shop here again. I hope you go out of business and burn in hell!”

Manager: *pause* “Have a great day, miss!”

(Needless to say, the woman had to be escorted out. To this day, I still wonder what “the view in the mall” is.)

A Thousand Reasons To Kick You Out Right Now

, , , , , | Romantic | May 13, 2018

(I work in a casino in Las Vegas, a city famous for its casinos… and prostitutes. A guy walks up with a group of friends and starts talking to me. He says I am beautiful, asks what my sign is, and informs me that he “won big at the casino and is moving to Vegas.” I am unimpressed.)

Me: “Winning big can mean many things. One thousand dollars is winning big.”

Guy: *laughs* “Would a thousand dollars change your life?”

(I ponder my upcoming phone bill, and rent, and union dues, so, yes, a thousand dollars would change my life for about a month.)

Guy: “If I gave you a thousand dollars, could I f*** you?”

Me: “I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE!” *walks away*

(He tried to apologize, and his friends told him to just leave me alone. He claimed I “misunderstood.” No, I understood, and I am not for sale!)

Unfiltered Story #109647

, , | Unfiltered | April 30, 2018

While working security one night I was sent up to a guest’s room who was having an allergic reaction.  I arrive and the man is in a pretty bad way.  He has his shirt off, his chest is covered with hives and his throat is closing so fast he can’t speak and soon may not even be able to breathe.  I call for the paramedics and they arrive fairly quickly.  They give the man a shot and his allergy symptoms begin to quickly get better.  When he can finally speak, one paramedic asks if the man is allergic to any kind of food.  The man admits he’s severely allergic to shellfish.  The paramedic then asks if the man has eaten any shellfish lately.  The man then says, “I just came back from a seafood buffet and ate a lot of it because it doesn’t count when you’re in Vegas.”

So many people see the city slogan “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” and think Las Vegas is some kind of negative zone where anything you do doesn’t effect real life.

Piercing Observation, Part 4

, , , , , | Working | April 16, 2018

(I am a 20-year-old female with facial piercings. I am fortunate enough to find a job as an office assistant for a realty company. One day, two men come in to pay rent, ask questions, etc. My back is turned to them as I am filing some paperwork. My boss has come up front to answer their questions. Mind you, she is a small female, and both of these men are large, tatted, and bearded. I finish filing while they are still there, and I turn around. The younger of the two looks genuinely surprised at my appearance and looks at my boss.)

Man #1: “Hey, do you guys have complaint or commendation papers?”

Boss: “Not here, but we do on our website. Is there something wrong that I can help you with?”

Man #1: “No, I just think it’s freaking awesome that you guys hired someone with alternative style!”

(My boss looks very confused. [Man #2] is now laughing.)

Man #1: *points at me* “Her piercings! I think it’s cool that you hired someone with them; most people don’t!”

Boss: *chuckles* “Who am I to tell her what the f*** to wear and how to dress? She’s fine the way she is!”

(I love my boss.)

Related:
Piercing Observation, Part 3
Piercing Observation, Part 2
Piercing Observation

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