(I am in my zoology honors class. We are talking about the anatomy of the lamprey.)

Teacher: “…the lamprey gets rid of liquid waste through the [scientific term]. It also releases sperm or eggs through the [scientific term].”

Male Student: “Where does the solid waste come out, then?”

Teacher: “Solid waste exits through the [other scientific term].”

Male Student: “So, they don’t have a butthole?”

Female Student: “Like boys!”

Male Student: “Excuse you! I do, too, have a butthole!”

(The whole class is cracking up. Even the teacher is trying to keep a smile off her face. Suddenly, the principal walks in.)

Principal: “What’s going on in here?”

Female Student: “Boys don’t have buttholes!”

(The principal just stared at [Female Student] for a long moment, and then backed slowly out of the room. The class erupts into laughter again.)

(I’m working near the front table of my bath and body store. As I turn around, I see two women shopping at the front table. I approach them with a smile.)

Me: “Hi ladies! What brings you two in to shop?”

(The one closest to me turns her head to me slowly, like something out of a horror movie, with a scowl on her bright red face, and replies in a scathing tone.)

Customer: “Seriously? This is a bath store.”

Me: *taken aback* “It was just a question.”

Customer: *gets even redder and huffs* “Whatever. I don’t have to take this.”

(She proceeded to storm out, the younger woman confusedly following after. I was left staring at the table while my coworker cracked up behind me.)

(I work in a women’s boutique. I’m standing inside the shop by myself since the manager is on break. I have a customer in the fitting room. I see a woman and her daughter pointing and looking through the display window. They eventually come in.)

Woman: “Do you work here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I do. Was there something you’d like to see from the display window?”

Woman: “Oh, no. I just had a question about restaurants.”

Me: “…”

Woman: “My daughter and I want to have brunch, but we only eat gluten-free and organic, and we’re not in the mood for Italian or Chinese. Could you tell me where we could go have brunch?”

(I’m thinking, “Are you serious?”)

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t think of any place, but I can give you this.”

(I give her a little booklet with most of the shows and restaurants close by.)

Woman: “But you work here; you should know.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m not familiar with the property’s restaurants. There’s a concierge down the hallway; I’m sure he could tell you where to go.”

Woman: “You work here. Can’t you call around and find out for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that; I have to tend to customers in here.”

(Good thing the customer in the fitting room was ready to be rung up, so “ButYouWorkHere” finally left the shop.)

(One of our admins sent the following email:)

Email: “A black t-shirt has been found outside our building. If it is yours, I hate it.”

(She meant to type, “I have it.”)

Today I went to buy groceries at a health food store. Life has been difficult lately. There was fraud on my bank account and because of that, I was $200 overdrawn. I had been looking for work for a few months now; I had to leave my last job because management stole my tips and did not pay overtime.

So, here I was, with a $20 bill that was borrowed from a kind friend, trying to buy enough groceries for the week. As I explained to the cashier that I might not have enough for [item], I noticed a man in line at another register staring at me with a smile on his face. I am certain that I did not know him.

I was thankfully able to afford [item], but I did have to skip some purchases due to my limited budget. The strange man kept smiling at me and staring. I made the sign of the cross and say a quick prayer.

After paying, I sat down at one of the tables to drink a tea I had bought. The strange man approached me and I was a bit scared. He then handed me a ten dollar bill and said, “I hope this can help you.” I managed to thank him before he walked away. I also said, “I misunderstood your intentions towards me.”

And yes, I went back through the store to pick up a few additional items!

God bless you, Staring Stranger. I hope to one day pay for someone’s groceries as you have done for me.