Doesn’t Have Designs On Career Progression

, , , , , , | Working | January 15, 2018

(The head of my department is blind in one eye and deaf in one ear, both on the same side, as a result of a serious car accident some years ago. Because of this, it’s easy to startle him if you approach him too quietly on that side, especially when he’s focused on his work. Most people learn this quickly, and we always say his name clearly when we approach him. We have just hired a new designer.)

Head Designer: “Just so you know, I can’t see or hear on this side of my body very well, so please make sure that I know you’re coming up to me. I really don’t like to be surprised.”

New Designer: “Okay.”

(Later, I happen to be in the break room with [Head Designer] while he is heating up his lunch. I am browsing the web on my phone, and out of the corner of my eye I see the new designer come in. I don’t think anything of it until I hear:)

New Designer: *on the head designer’s bad side* “BOO!”

(The head designer drops his water bottle in surprise, spilling water all over the floor.)

Me: *to the new designer* “Dude! Not cool!”

New Designer: “Sorry, I just wanted to see if it was true.”

(He then walks out, leaving the head designer and me to clean up the spill.)

Me: “Sorry, I had no idea he was going to do that. Otherwise, I would have said something.”

Head Designer: “Don’t worry about it. It won’t happen again.”

(And it didn’t. I never saw [New Designer] again after that.)

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That Rules Out All Fast Food Ever, Then

, , | Right | January 7, 2018

(I’m a worker at a fast food drive-thru.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, that will be [total].”

Lady: “Wait a minute. It’s the middle of the afternoon. Shouldn’t you be in school? It’s Tuesday.”

Me: “Well actually, ma’am, it’s Wednesday and no. School’s out for the summer, as far as I know.”

Lady: “Well, I don’t accept food from teenagers.”

Me: *sighs* “I graduated from college two years ago.”

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Watching Too Much Pirates Of The Caribbean

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 4, 2018

I am polishing glasses behind the counter at the wine cellar where I work. Sitting in front of the counter, a couple ladies and their men discuss ghosts, which both men seem skeptical about.

At some point, pirates are brought up and both men discuss pirates with great interest.

Suddenly one lady says to her man, “Wait, you’re telling me that you don’t believe in ghosts, but you believe in pirates?”

She laughs, clearly thinking this is ironic somehow. The two men glance at each other and chuckle along with her, and her fellow lady just quietly sips some wine.

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Talk Again And This Toddler Will Invoke Ragnarok

, , , , , | Friendly | December 29, 2017

(It’s the week “Thor: Ragnarok” comes out. It’s a weekday afternoon, so far less crowded than other days, but there are still some people in the IMAX, including a mother with her toddler-aged son sitting in the row in front of us. He may be a little older, but he’s definitely not school-aged yet. A family including a son of about seven or eight comes in just before the movie starts, and they sit right next to us. Not long after the movie starts, the boy starts talking nonstop, and this continues for several minutes with no action from the parents. Finally, at a particularly quiet part of the movie, the toddler turns around.)

Toddler: “You’re not supposed to talk during a movie. You might bother other people.”

(He turns back around in his seat.)

Toddler: “Sorry, Mommy. I talked. I won’t do it again.”

(Never have I seen two parents look so ashamed, as the dad quickly grabbed his son and rushed him out. Though, who can blame them, after having their school-aged child be lectured on manners by a little boy? The dad and son soon returned to the theater, where the kid didn’t talk again the whole movie, other than asking to go to the bathroom. I really hope the little boy’s mother was proud, because that’s some good parenting in action!)

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Tabled That Discussion For A Few Hours

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2017

(My husband, brother-in-law, and I enter a busy restaurant at around 1:00 in the afternoon. There are perhaps a half-dozen people standing in the lobby between us and the hostess station. As we approach, we overhear the exhausted-looking hostess telling a group of customers that their wait will be around two hours. Incredulous, my brother-in-law makes his way up to the desk to ask if the wait will be equally as long for our party of three. He returns to my husband and me, shaking his head and chuckling.)

Brother-in-Law: “We’ll have a table in a minute. Their wait is so long because they just requested tables for forty.”

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