I recently got a new Wi-Fi router that I could password lock; my old one locked me out of it somehow. Not long after, the neighbor kids came over to try to get my Wi-Fi password. They weren’t happy when I said no.

Their mother showed up five minutes later.

Mother: “Give us your new password! We want to keep using your service!”

Me: “No! You’ve been costing us significant money in overage fees! You can either pay us the back pay for that, or you can get your own service.”

She stormed off in a huff.

I recently bought a house and have been having some work done before I move in. It was empty on the market for about six to eight months before I bought it.

One morning, I got a call from my contractor, asking me about moving the cars in the driveway. Of course, I had no idea what he was talking about. I hadn’t moved in yet.

I left my job site and drove nearly a half-hour to get there. When I arrived, the people who lived on the east side of the house were walking toward the cars.

Me: “Are those your cars?”

Neighbor: “Yes. We’ve been parking here for a few months with permission from the owners.”

Me: “I’m the new owner. You can’t park there anymore.”

We went back and forth, and with the intention of being a good neighbor and trying to show some goodwill, I agreed to allow them to park there for a few more weeks until I moved in — with the agreement that they would move them by 6:00 am every morning.

The rest of the week went by without incident. The contractor called me about scheduling a walk-through on Saturday, and we set a time for early afternoon.

When I arrived, there were four cars in the driveway, and there was nowhere to park. (The only on-street parking is two blocks away.) I called the neighbors and asked them to move their vehicles, reminding them of our agreement. After twenty minutes, they finally came out and moved them.

I spoke with them, and they claimed to have misunderstood and thought our agreement only referred to weekdays and not weekends. I corrected them and moved on.

On Sunday morning, I grabbed a trailer and loaded some furniture to take over and store in the garage. Once again, there were cars in the driveway. I called the neighbors and got their voicemail. I texted them and said they had until a tow truck could arrive to get them moved. No answer. I called a tow company.

Forty-five minutes later, two tow trucks showed up, backed in, and hooked up to the cars. All of a sudden, the neighbors were home. They ran out to stop their cars from being towed, and it ended up costing them a little over $300 to get them unhooked.

I called my contractor and asked if he knew someone who could put in a driveway gate, and he did. I let the neighbors know that they could no longer use my driveway at all.

On Wednesday, I got a call from the gate installer telling me that there were cars in the driveway. I called the neighbors and said tow trucks were on the way. They moved the cars.

The gate was installed and I went by to pick up the opener that evening. The neighbor husband came out to confront me, and I opted to just call the police department and deal with it legally.

That Saturday, I went by to accept an outdoor furniture delivery and check on things. I noticed a towel beside the pool and a small kids’ flotation device. My initial thought was that I just hadn’t noticed them before, so I wrote it off and threw them both in the trash.

Later that day, the movers arrived with everything and we began moving things in.

About 7:00 pm, my daughter and I left to go grab some dinner, arriving back at the house around 9:30 pm.

The neighbors were in my pool. They were hanging out and using my furniture. When I opened the door and began raising h***, they told the kids to go to their house, and the children ran to a corner of our fence and just walked through.

They had cut out the privacy fence so it could be removed and had been using the pool at their leisure for who knows how long.

Again, I called the police and filed a complaint. The dad was arrested for trespassing and an outstanding warrant, and the oldest boy (age twenty) was arrested for an outstanding warrant, too.

I replaced the fence with a new one because they had destroyed the posts, runners, and pickets by removing and reinstalling the panel. Small claims court awarded me the total cost of eighty-three feet of eight-foot privacy fence, which came out to $3,800.

The following Monday morning around 5:00 am, the neighbors’ cars were parked in the street, where there was no street parking, so I made a phone call. They were gone when I left at 7:00 am.

I haven’t been paid yet, but I did notice a “For Rent” sign in their yard this morning, so that’s just as good. I met the owner of their house, and he told me the house would likely be empty within a week as the family had been evicted for non-payment of rent.

Good riddance.

I installed a security system the next week, along with six cameras around the house, a camera doorbell, and a fence around the pool itself to keep the dogs and my grandson out of it. I’ll be closing and covering the pool in the next few weeks.

About four years ago, I used to live in a nice HOA (Homeowners Association) in a small town in Texas, and I enjoyed having only one neighbor over my backyard fence. The plot was about two acres, and the other side of the backyard butted up to a hay field. The stars were beautiful at night because of virtually no light pollution…

Until the neighbor decided to install an incredibly bright security light over their back porch aimed right at my back patio and bedroom windows. I tried to ignore it at first and put shades in the bedroom, but out on the patio, it was like having a bright LED headlight in your face all night.

I consulted the HOA about adding a privacy addition to my fence to increase its height, and they said no because it was already at the eight-foot maximum allowed height. They said there was nothing in the bylaws or whatever about bright lights, so there was nothing they could do.

I hated for this to be the thing where the neighbors and I finally had a formal greeting after three years of back porch waves, but I walked over and rang the doorbell with $20. I politely explained that the light was causing the aforementioned nuisance and asked if there was any way I could convince him to point the light down or in a different direction. I even offered to buy him a case of beer (with the $20) out of goodwill and even a new motion-sensing light. The neighbor seemed nice and agreed to point it down.

But after waiting a month, nothing changed. I went back to have another polite conversation, and he said he had changed his mind and was going to leave it on every night and leave it pointed as-is.

Needless to say, I was a bit upset that diplomacy had failed, and I started figuring out how to win. If the military taught me anything, it’s that there are always ways to adapt and overcome. So, I started researching fast-growing plants to create big privacy walls and reading through the HOA bylaws and city and state ordinances about what I could or couldn’t plant and whether there were any repercussions for encroachment across the property line.

I quickly discovered that running bamboo, despite being very invasive, would grow super fast to make the neighbor’s house and light disappear from view, and there was nothing on the HOA, state, or city books to prevent me from planting it or cause legal recourse if it spread and grew on his side on the fence. The only thing he could do was cut anything that grew on his side of the line.

So, I pulled the trigger and planted a bunch of Golden Bamboo which grows and spreads crazy fast in Texas and grows up to twenty feet tall. I didn’t care if it took over the fence line because his house was fifteen feet from the fence while mine was fifty yards away, so I planted a bunch right against the fence and only put a root barrier on my side to prevent it from spreading into my yard.

Within six months, my neighbor’s house and light were gone from view, replaced by a pretty bamboo jungle row at the edge of my yard. Within a year, he complained that it was growing into his yard via mailed letters. They went right into the trash with no response. He rang my doorbell once, and I looked at him through the window but just didn’t answer the door.

I unexpectedly sold the house and moved two years after planting for a career opportunity. It’s been two years since I sold, and I just checked the property on Google Earth. The neighbor’s entire backyard is bamboo.

My neighbors wouldn’t stop smoking on their balcony. It swept into my apartment at all hours of the night. There was a designated smoking area, but that was inconvenient for them.

I bought a massive water gun and waited one night until it was good and dark outside. When the smoke began, I stepped silently out into the night and sprayed all of the ice-cold water as hard as I could in their direction.

I heard them yelp in shock as I quickly retreated back into my apartment. My heart was racing and I had a huge thrill. I felt scared but satisfied. They had no way of knowing it was me, but they did know I often complained about them.

The next day, I acted like nothing had happened and said hi to them cheerfully. They began to accuse me. I acted shocked and appalled until they admitted that they didn’t know for sure what had happened. I said things like, “Are you sure it wasn’t raining?”, and, “Maybe another neighbor smelled smoke and thought there was a fire?”

Then, I went back home and laughed my a** off in glee.

We have just had a big snowstorm. I actually plow for a living, but it’s mainly for roads, so I start shoveling my driveway the old-fashioned way. My snow plow is safe inside my garage, and usually, I would probably be called out to work it, but I am on leave (legally mandated after working so much overtime), so I know I am safe from being called in for the day.

My neighbor sees me.

Neighbor: “I’ll give you $30 to do my driveway!”

Me: “Deal!”

I start work on his driveway, and the next neighbor along sees me, too.

Next Neighbor: “How much did you charge him for that?”

Me: “He offered $30, and I accepted.”

Next Neighbor: “Awesome! Mine is a little bigger. Can you do it for $40?”

Me: “Sure thing!”

A lady who lives across the street has seen all this and hurries over.

Lady: “I’ll give you $50 for shoveling my driveway and sidewalk.”

It’s the largest driveway on the street, but I’ll take the fifty! After I finish, I go up to the door and knock, but she won’t open it. I go to the back door and knock, but she still doesn’t open. Then, I see her looking at me through the window, but she quickly turns away and pretends like nothing happened.

At this point, I realize that I just got tricked into doing a ton of work and I’m not getting paid. I start to walk home all annoyed, but then I think about it, and her driveway is pretty large… large enough for a snow plow.

I run back, turn it on, and blast that snow that I shoveled and some more all over her yard. She rushes outside and starts yelling at me.

Me: “Oh, so you are home!”

Lady: “What the f*** do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “Giving you a refund!”

And with that, I drove it back home and enjoyed the rest of my leave.

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