Things With The Neighbours Have Become Heated

, , | Friendly | March 7, 2017

My mom had a black lab as a kid in the 1980s. This being the 1980s, people don’t know what we know now about pet care, so it is perfectly acceptable to leave a dog chained up in the yard unsupervised for long periods of time. My mom’s parents are no exception in spite of the dog being a master escape artist, and they find a moderately sized, sturdy tree to tie the dog to every afternoon that seems to keep the dog from escaping.

My mom’s neighbor is also no exception, with their purebred golden retriever. Since the neighbors like to participate in dog shows, they aren’t allowed to get the dog fixed and so have to contend with heat (which is essentially dog mating periods and very messy, painful, and loud). Not wanting a big mess in the house, they just chain the dog up outside until heat ends.

This catches the attention of pretty much every male dog in the neighborhood, but due to being kept chained up, they aren’t able to act on desire. That is, until my mom’s lab figures out how to use the friction from moving the chain up and down to saw down the tree and escape. He comes back home after a few hours.

And that’s the story of how the purebred show golden retriever gave birth to a litter of black puppies. The neighbors refuse to speak with my mom’s family after that, but apparently take a lesson and keep the dog indoors when she is in heat. So do my grandparents, who chain the dog to an anchor fit for a barge.

That’s not the end of it. A few months after the incident, my grandmother wakes up to find the outside door open and screen door torn to pieces. She initially assumes a robbery occurred and calls my grandfather in a panic. Upon realizing that nothing has been stolen, they figure out that the lab escaped. So, my grandfather goes out to search for the dog.

He eventually found the lab outside the neighbor’s house. It turns out the neighbor’s golden was once again in heat, and gave doggy encouragement throughout as the lab tried to claw through the wall shingle by shingle, in a manner that was slow but effective without injuring him or even damaging the shingles that much. Horrified, my grandfather grabbed him, took him home, and hastily tried to stick the lost shingles back on the house to the best of his ability. In all likelihood, though, the neighbors knew and any hope of reconciliation was lost.

1 Thumbs

Has All The Power And No Charge

| Hopeless | February 13, 2017

(My neighbor knocks on my door kind of late one night. He’s usually quite light-hearted, with an almost exaggerated southern accent, and he smiles a lot. But, this night, he has a dark look to his face. His voice is very low.)

Neighbor: “I need to ask you a favor. A big one.”

(My heart drops as all manner of horrible possibilities come into my head.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Neighbor: “Our electricity got cut off. Can I run a power cord from your garage to my TV until they reconnect us the day after tomorrow?”

(I almost laughed in his face because I’d really gotten worried as to what was going on!)

Me: “Of course; it’s fine!”

(He then gave me $20, which I try to refuse.)

Neighbor: “I insist that I you take it because borrowing your power outlet is a s*** thing to do to a neighbor.”

1 Thumbs

Bad Neighbors Can Just Shove(l) It!

| Hopeless | February 8, 2017

Within a year of my parents moving into their current home, their next door neighbour passed away. His widow continues to live in that home all by herself.

When it snows in the winter, my father, along with other neighbourhood men, take turn shoveling her driveway.

One day, the widow told my father that she shared with her friends that her neighbours take turns shoveling her driveway and none of them believed her.

She cried as she thanked him and said that she was very blessed with such friendly, helpful neighbours.

1 Thumbs

Heavy Drinking, Light Job

| Friendly | January 29, 2017

(I work as a light technician at a music venue, and I have my share of stories about drunk people at those parties. This night in particular was quite mentionable since so many things happened. It’s a concert of a Dutch folk singer and the audience is mostly middle aged woman, some teens, and a couple of elders. After the concert there’s a disco and most people are pretty drunk at this point. I’m getting asked multiple times if I can change the song or get comments that they don’t like the songs that are played. In other words: they think I’m the DJ. Every time I try to explain I’m the light tech they reply with things like “Wait, a GIRL technician? Noooo!” or “I didn’t know the lights needed controlling.”  It’s getting later and most people start to go home. I put on the main lights and shutting of my station. A middle aged woman comes up to me and pouts like a little child.)

Woman: “I’m very sad. The night is over and we have to go home now. It makes me sad.”

Me: “Well, you can’t have everything in life, I guess. And we want to go home, too, you know.”

Woman: “Oh, I really understand that! But I miss the times when parties like this go on until six am, you know? *starts a whole story about the ‘good old days* “…and look at those young folk going home already! I’m double their age and I still drink them under the table! HA!”

(She finally stops talking and by this time I’m done closing up my station and the other staff has already begun sweeping the floor etc.)

Woman: “I can’t believe you put up with me. Here I am, drunk as a trucker, and I keep on babbling to you sober, hardworking people. You must think I’m very annoying right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, despite the fact you are indeed drunk, you’re polite and haven’t assaulted me yet. Believe me; you are not as annoying as you think you are! I’ve seen waaay worse.”

Woman: *holds up her glass* “Cheers!” *she wobbles away*

(Sometimes you do meet fun people in this job.)

1 Thumbs

It’s A Very Old Phone Number

| Romantic | January 29, 2017

(I’m a light tech at a heavy metal night at the music venue where I volunteer from time to time. After the show is over some drunk dude approaches me and puts his arm around me.)

Drunk Dude: “Hey, sweetcakes. You could maybe tell us if the show is over.”

Me: “Yep, it is.”

Drunk Dude: “So we can go home now?”

Me: “Uh-uh.”

Drunk Dude: “You wanna come with me, babe?”

Me: “I don’t think so…”

Drunk Dude: “Awww. Can you at least give me your number?”

Me: *deadpan* “Seven.”

(He looked at me like he saw water burning, while his friends were standing a few feet away yelling “buuuuuurrrrnnnn!”)

1 Thumbs