Our neighbor is in our driveway one Sunday afternoon. This is a guy who never really has anything to do with anyone around the neighborhood. 

Me: “What’s up?”

Neighbor: “I’m looking for my cat. He’s really old and both blind and deaf. Somehow, he got out.”

Me: “What’s the cat’s name? I can help look and call for him.”

He looks at me with a completely blank stare for a good ten seconds.

Me: *Going red.* “Oh… right.”

Neighbor: “Look, your heart is in the right place. This is a picture of him. If you see him, approach with cheese. He’s lost two of the senses, but he’s got a nose for trouble.”

We find the cat within half an hour. He has somehow made his way into another neighbor’s yard. Why? They are having a BBQ, and it smells delicious.

Some friends and I are talking at a backyard party, mingling with some neighbors of the host.

Neighbor: “Yeah, so my wife and I have two kids in the household, one seven and an infant. One from a previous marriage.”

My Friend: “No way, your kid isn’t seven!”

Neighbor: “You’re right, because otherwise I’d be raising my wife’s infant from another man?”

My Friend: “Ooooh, yeah. I’m dumb, sorry. I’m bad with the whole kid thing.”

Other Friend #1: “And numbers!”

Other Friend #2: “And sequence!”

I’m talking to my neighbor about our dogs and how well they play together.

Neighbor: “They’re both different breeds, but they get along like brothers.”

Me: “Well, they all come from wolves at the end of the day.”

Neighbor: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, all dogs evolved from wolves.”

Neighbor: “Then why are there still wolves?”

Me: “Not every wolf evolved.”

Neighbor: “That’s so stupid. This is why evolution is just a scam.”

Me: “Your family is from Europe originally, right?”

Neighbor: “Yeah?”

Me: “Since Americans came from Europe, why are there still Europeans?”

Neighbor: “I…” *Suddenly calls his dog inside and doesn’t come out for the rest of the day.*

This story reminded me of one of my own.

It was about a week before Christmas. I’m used to snowfall, and am usually prepared for doing some shoveling and scraping to get my car free in the mornings. Except this morning, I had parked by the curb the night before because I was visiting my mom, who lived nearby.

This wouldn’t normally be a problem, even with the foot-and-a-half fall we’d had that night, except apparently the snowplow decided to come along the not-so-busy road rather early that day, and basically buried my poor car in at least three feet of very hard plow-packed snow.

I grabbed my shovel and went to work, but I knew it wasn’t going to be a fast or easy job, so I texted my manager that I would be a little late that morning, complete with a picture of the snow burial.

The combination of freezing temperatures and the plow pushing and packing the snow meant my tires were trapped in essentially ice blocks, and there were small icebergs on either end blocking me in.

I’d been struggling for about twenty minutes and had barely made a dent in the mess when another plow came by. This was not an official plow, but a personal pickup truck that someone had rigged a full-size plow onto for ease of winter driving. He pulled up close and shooed me away from the vehicle and then did some very careful maneuvering of his giant plow, getting as close to my car as possible on all sides.

Luckily, there was nobody in front of or behind me, so he had the room. He did several short little passes, each time coming closer to my car to try and get as much snow as possible. Then he got out and used the shovel to break up the chunks of ice left near my tires and push them aside as well.

Once he was sure I was free, he hopped back on his plow and continued on his merry way. Probably took him maybe ten minutes where it would have taken me at least about forty-five minutes or more to get out. My manager was pleasantly surprised I made it and just as pleased by the helpful stranger as I was.

Related:
Mister Plow Is Canadian?!

I’m on my porch when I witness a neighbor run out in front of a courier delivery truck.

Neighbor: “Hey! I was expecting two packages, and you only dropped off one!”

Driver: *Leaning out of his door window.* “I only had the one. It could be with another driver.”

Neighbor: “Nuh uh! I ordered both at the same time on Amazon! They should be coming together!”

Driver: “I would recommend you check the tracking details of each item, even if they’re on the same order.”

Neighbor: “Nuh uh!”

My neighbor said ‘Nuh uh!’ a lot.

Neighbor: “Go back to your truck and check again! I need both packages!”

Driver: “Sir, I only have the one. Please step aside.”

Neighbor: *Stepping closer to the truck.* “No! I’m not moving until I have my package!”

Driver: “Sir, I have other deliveries to make.”

Neighbor: “Mine… first!”

Driver: “Sir, I have over thirty more stops to make before I can go home to my wife and kids. Either you step aside to let me finish my deliveries, or you get personal same-day shipping to Hell.”

The neighbor stood his ground for another second, but then stepped aside, and the truck went on its way. My neighbor looked my way and saw me watching. 

Neighbor: “You saw all that s***, right?”

Me: “I did, and it was glorious!”

Another truck from the same company came by that afternoon with his second package.