I work at a chain pet store that does not sell live feeder mice, but we do sell pet mice. Two men in their early twenties come in and spend plenty of time in the reptile section. They collect a snake hide from the shelf and then find another employee to catch them two mice “as pets.”

Thankfully, I get to her first.

Me: “Don’t they have snake merchandise in their hands?”

Coworker: “Uh, yeah.”

Me: “And no mice merchandise.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “Right.”

I go up to them.

Me: “Aren’t you the guys who called earlier today to ask if we sell live feeder mice?”

One blinks.

Customer: “Uh, yeah, but I was just wondering, so…”

Me: “So, you know for pet mice you need a cage, right?”

They left, sans mice. Some people just really want to fight the system.

There’s a popular burger chain near my house. They make a salad I like with chicken, guacamole, and bacon. However, I hate the spicy ranch dressing it comes with, so I ask for plain, instead. Seems simple, right?

Ha, no.

I’ve been getting this salad once or twice a month for half a year. I order the same thing every time, and never, not once, have I gotten just plain ranch. Sometimes I get both plain and spicy, sometimes neither. Sometimes I get something completely out of left field, like the day I got raspberry vinaigrette and Parmesan crisps. (How?)

I carry on because the chicken is always delicious. It was annoying at first, but now it’s just funny. It’s become such a running joke in my family that the last time we ordered there, my mom leaned over to peek in my bag and said, “Which one did you get this time?”

It was Caesar.

I work night stock at a grocery store. One person is the cashier but does stock a couple aisles by themselves near their registers so they can see when they have a customer wanting to check out. I’m the cashier tonight.

I’m approached by a youngish couple with a full cart, the woman having a distinct silver-dyed hair color.

Customer: “Where are the hotdog buns?”

I point them in the right direction and go about my business. Later, I realize I haven’t seen that couple in a while and after asking my coworkers, I discover that they simply walked out of the store with their full cart.

Great.

I alert management and move on.

A few days later, I spot them in the store again, accompanied by another guy. Something in me snaps and I decide to confront them. I walk over and ask if they’re finding everything okay.

Me: “Hey, weren’t you in here the other night?”

Customer: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Yeah, I recognize your hair. You asked me where the hotdog buns were and then we never saw you again.”

By this point, they’ve started looking at each other uncomfortably.

Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Me: “I think you do.”

Customer: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “I think you do.”

Being a mother, I gave them the look that all mothers give when they know someone’s lying. I then simply walked away to continue stocking. 

One of my coworkers was nearby during this encounter, and after I walked away, continued to stand there with her arms crossed, staring at these people. They left quickly after that.

The best part, the woman had forgotten her billfold in the cart, so she had to come back! The silver-haired thief even had the audacity to call me a vulgar name on the way out.

Related:
Some Customers Deserve To Be Carted Off

I am at the grocery store where I used to work, picking up a few things for the week, including a case of beer. The cashier, who I do not know, asks for my ID. I show her and she moves on with the transaction. I am twenty-one and she had no problem with me purchasing this alcohol.

She is almost done with the rest of my items when one of my mom’s former students sees me and runs up to give me a hug. She is in middle school now, so she is only twelve or thirteen. Remember that this girl has only just shown up and our conversation indicates that we have not seen each other for a while and we are not together.

Cashier: “You’re going to need to wait for my manager to come void the alcohol; I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “But I already showed you my ID; it clearly states I am old enough.”

Cashier: “Yes, but you are with a minor, and store policy states that I cannot allow you to purchase this.” 

This confuses me because I clearly remember from training that there can be some exceptions to selling alcohol to people who are accompanied by minors, mostly parents who are shopping with their kids.

Me: “She is not with me. I just happened to run into her. It’s not like we are going to the same place.”

Cashier: “You could have planned to make it look like you just ran into her. I have no way of knowing and I’m not going to get fired because some kid asked you to buy them beer!”

The student’s dad is aware of the situation and steps in at this point to confirm that we definitely did not come to the store together and I am not purchasing alcohol for his daughter.

Student’s Dad: “Look, I know they can be strict about this, but I can promise you that [My Name] is telling the truth.”

Cashier: “Well, we’ll see about that!”

One of my former managers finally arrives, and after listening to the situation, just rolls his eyes.

Manager: “Yeah, [Cashier], why don’t you just go bag on another lane; I’ll take care of this.” 

The cashier leaves.

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], sorry about that. I’ve had to talk to her a few times about this. Last week, she tried to deny cigarettes to a guy who was with his eight-year-old son! Looks like I might need to ask another manager to try and get through to her. Here’s your receipt!”

I saw that same manager a few weeks later, and he told me they had to fire her for stealing loyalty points from customers!

Our store recently started a promotion where the double cheeseburger meal is discounted by over a dollar. All of the promotional signage calls it the “big meal.”

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you allow substitutions on the big meal?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: “Good. Can I get the big meal, but with a [different sandwich] instead of the double burger, but for the same price?”

Me: “Um. No. We can’t do that. We can get you onion rings instead of fries, though.”

Customer: “Oh. I guess I’ll get the double burger, then.”

I still can’t believe she thought we’d basically make all of our meals available for the same cheaper price. Crazy lady.