(I am at school at the beginning of the day. I hear this comical announcement over the PA:)
Announcement: “This is a test announcement because of problems with the speakers in some of the rooms. Please contact the main office if you did not hear this announcement.”
(An older woman comes up to buy a book for her granddaughter.)
Me: “Did you find everything okay?”
Customer: “Well, I did have a question. You see…”
(She goes on to tell me a very long story about how she is drowning in credit card debt and can’t make her payments, and how the bank is going to take away her house soon. The entire story takes about ten minutes.)
Customer: “…So, I guess my question is, do you have any books that I could buy so I don’t have to hire a lawyer?”
Me: *stunned* “Um. Well, we have a finance section over there.”
Customer: “Those books are too expensive; I can’t afford to buy them.”
Me: “All right. Well, your total is $29.59.”
Customer: *pays with a credit card*
(I didn’t say anything at the time, but lady, there is no book in the world that will replace a lawyer, and you should probably not use credit cards if you’re drowning in credit card debt.)
(A customer calls me on the phone in a panic.)
Customer: “Why am I still getting a bill for this line of credit? I thought you closed it! It’s ten pages long! I haven’t used it. “
Me: “I did close it, but I know you had some fraud, so let me call card services to see what’s going on.”
(I call card services.)
Me: “My customer is still showing a balance on her line. We paid it. What’s going on?”
Card Services: “We show no activity, but that card did receive a large payoff a month ago.”
Me: “Well, my customer is still getting a bill with a large balance…”
(I continue to argue with card services for 20 minutes before hanging up in frustration. I call my customer back and say they show no money owed so that statement must just not be printing correctly.)
Me: “Can you read exactly what it says at the top?”
Customer: “’Statement of Accounts’.”
Me: “That is your monthly statement.”
Customer: “Yeah, but it says I owe all this money!”
Me: “That’s your monthly account transactions and balance, not a bill! You don’t owe anything.”
Customer: “Well, why is it so long?!”
Me: “I don’t know, but it’s the same as you get every month; it’s nothing new.”
Customer: “Okay, thanks for checking for me!”
(I just spent thirty minutes arguing with people to find out my customer thought her monthly statement was a bill. I ask more questions now.)
(I work at a department store that is infamous for coupons. The coupons can be pretty amazing if used correctly, but they can’t be combined with each other on the same items. This is printed on the backs of all the coupons, and most customers are pretty understanding of this. It should be noted that customers who have the store credit card can earn cardholder-exclusive coupons, that take $20 off a purchase of $50 or more, which have the same rules about combining. One weekend, we have a special coupon that takes $50 off a purchase of $100 or more. It’s always popular, so we get a rush of people. One of the customers in my line gets around $100 worth of clothes, and uses the coupon, and then hands me a cardholder-exclusive coupon.)
Me: “Oh, sorry, these coupons can’t be combined, but you are saving over $50 as it is.”
Customer: “No, I spoke to [Newer Manager] over the phone, and he said I could use them. That’s the only reason I came here; I don’t want any of this otherwise.”
Me: “I’ll go ahead and give him a call just to double-check, then.”
(I call the manager, who has been known to make policy-bending decisions in the past.)
Me: “Hi, I have a customer here who says you told her she could use the $50 coupon and the $20 coupon all at once?”
Newer Manager: “Yep! I remember talking to her!”
Me: “Okay.”
(Because of the way the computer was set up, I had to manually take off the $20 first before I could apply the $50 coupon, since it would only allow one coupon per item. The customer went on her way, happy that she got more than $100 worth of items for around $30. I spent the rest of my shift hoping that no other customers overheard the conversation, and that the newer manager didn’t tell anyone else they could do that. Thankfully, it didn’t happen again the rest of the time I worked there.)
Customer: *brings item up to the front counter* “Hi, I noticed this is broken. Can I get it for half off?”
Me: “Oh, bummer. Were there any others back there on the shelf like it?”
Customer: “No, not of this color. Can I just get this half off?”
Me: “Well, I know for a fact that I have more of those in that color in the back that aren’t broken. I’ll go get one for you.”
Customer: “No, I want this one. Just put it in the computer for half off. It’s broken.”
Me: “I can see that it is. But I can’t take 50% off just because that corner is chipped off, especially since I know I have plenty that aren’t broken. Would you like me to go get one?”
Customer: “If you can’t give me a discount, I don’t want it. Can’t you just type it in?”
Me: “Only managers can do that, and even if I was a manager, the computer only goes to 20% off. But unless it’s the only one left and severely damaged, I can’t do that for you.”
Customer: *tosses (somewhat fragile) item onto counter* “Whatever.”
(When I went back to where the items are displayed, there were three more on the shelf just like the one she had brought up, same color and all. She must have looked through to find the specific broken one, or maybe even broke it herself in hopes of getting a discount!)
