My family is driving through Yellowstone National Park, known for its geysers and wildlife. As usual, it’s a bit of a traffic jam, but moving okay. We notice that everyone is pulling over to the side, which is commonly done to see the wildlife and take pictures. Sure enough, there is an elk in velvet – that means they have antlers but it’s not rutting season, so the antlers are covered in fuzz. Male elk are pretty chill until rutting season, so it’s just browsing on the side of the road.

We all go out and take pictures and suddenly my big brother, about sixteen, runs forward and yells at one of the other tourists.

They are about to try to put their toddler on the back of a wild elk!

They backed off so all’s well that ends well, but really… wild animal people!

I am on vacation visiting a national park in Hawaii. Among other natural and historical wonders is a beach where sea turtles regularly haul out to rest and sun themselves. You are allowed to get pretty close to the turtles, but there are numerous large signs posted stating that it’s a federal crime to touch, feed, or otherwise harass them since they are an endangered species.

While I am taking photos of the adorable reptiles, a woman and her daughter come over to look at them. While the woman doesn’t immediately do anything to raise alarm, she is talking loudly and being generally obnoxious, so I decide to look at something else for a few minutes and then circle back to the turtles.

When I come back, the woman is being confronted by a rather angry-looking park ranger. Apparently, the lady plopped her daughter on the back of one of the turtles for a photo just as the ranger rounded the corner to the beach.

I didn’t stick around to find out what happened, but I assume the woman was given a fine of an amount in the four- to six-figures variety, if not a court date. The last thing I heard as I walked away was her wailing, “But I thought it was dead!”

I work as a tourism counselor in a small town in Canada situated near a national park. We share a building with Parks Canada so that they can provide information about the park, and we can give information about the town.

National Parks have an admission fee, and if you don’t pay the admission fee, you receive a reminder that you need to pay. If you do not pay, then the reminder turns into a ticket and gets sent off to a collection agency, and you have to pay a larger fine.

I am able to deal with these tickets at my desk, in case of it getting too busy at the Parks desk. This does not mean I have anything to do with these tickets.

It is five minutes before closing and I’m getting ready to shut down when a clearly distraught man comes storming up to the door holding a ticket in his hand. He gets to the door and realizes he does not have a mask (still required in Canada at the time). He goes back to his truck to get a mask and doesn’t even put it on when he enters.

My desk and the Parks Canada desk are situated across the room from each other, and Parks Canada’s desk is closest to the door, so typically, people will go to the Parks desk first, but of course, this gentleman comes storming right up to my desk yelling about his ticket.

When he gets to my desk, he throws his ticket at my face which ends up being a critical hit and leaves me at low Health Points.

Man: “I was going to throw this ticket out, but my girlfriend convinced me to pay the fee.”

This fee is only $10. I ask him the required questions so I can charge him the correct amount and he starts yelling.

Man: “I’ve been coming to this park for fifteen years and I’ve never had to pay an admission fee! This is bulls***! How long have you been charging people to enter national parks?!”

I lean over so I can see the person at the Parks desk, who should be dealing with this lunatic, and ask her how long.

Parks Desk Employee: “Since 1984.”

This nice gentleman decided that the woman working at the Parks desk and I were lying about this and got fed up. After yelling at me a little while longer about how stupid I was and how I shouldn’t be working this job, he threw a $10 bill at my face, draining the last bit of Health Points I had, and stormed off.

The woman working at the Parks desk proceeded to thank me profusely for dealing with him as she should have been the one dealing with him.

My family has a private campground up near the Allegheny National Forest. There are a few trails in the woods to walk on near the campground. Bears are a common occurrence in the area and I am utterly terrified of bears.

One day, I am walking one of the trails with my dog and my dad when we hear something in the woods.

Me: “Oh, s***! What if it’s a bear?!”

Dad: “Or… it could be a bigfoot.”

Before I can say anything else, my dad proceeds to try and do a “bigfoot call”.

Me: “Are you crazy?”

Dad: “What’s the issue?”

Me: “What if there really was a bear and you’re attracting it to us?! Do I need to remind you that there’s no cell phone service up here, so if something happened we’d be goners?”

Dad: “I forgot about that part.”

This week has been one of the hardest since I started working in the business. A local monument is closing for the season, so a LOT of people are visiting on their National Park Passport — like a stamp book where you collect stamps of certain Parks, Monuments, and cities.

These aren’t our normal customer base, as we usually work with snowmobilers, skiers, and dogsledders. I’ve been screamed at for things constantly, called slurs daily, and even had a guest throw a towel soaked in urine at me.

A guest called and screamed at us for closing for the season. After twenty minutes, my boss grabbed the phone.

Boss: “I’m sure my employees who are being laid off for four weeks are very sympathetic about your inconvenienced vacation plans. Get over it!”

A guest stood at the front desk telling us that in [State], they don’t close the hot tubs for cleaning, they just treat the water… and on, and on, and on. My manager had enough with her too.

Boss: “We do apologize for your inconvenience; the people from [State] keep bathing in the hot tubs so we have to drain them.”

It’s been brutal, but it is nice that my boss has my back.