Hello Happy!

, , , , , , | Related | November 13, 2017

(My mom is a children’s librarian and is in charge of creating read-along programs for the kids. As she has partial hearing loss, she is not a big music fan, save for her kids’ songs she learns for her programs. I am visiting her at work one day when I see a picture book by Pharrell Williams with the words to his song “Happy.”)

Me: “Hey, Mom, did you see this? I know you’ve heard the song somewhere along the way. That’d be kind of cool for one of your programs!”

(I flip through the book, kind of humming the tune, while my mom tries to place it. She also flips through the book, mulling the idea over.)

Mom: “I don’t know who Pharrell Williams is. Is he popular in today’s music? Would the kids recognize the song?”

Me: *laughing* “I definitely think the kids would recognize the song. And yes, he is pretty popular, or at least some of his songs are. About as well-known as Adele.”

Mom: *blank stare* “Adele? Who’s he?”

Are You Friend Or Old Enemy?

, , , , | Friendly | November 13, 2017

(I am talking with my friends about bands when the conversation shifts to Nirvana.)

Friend #1: “I actively avoid listening to Nirvana.”

Friend #2: “WHAT?!”

Me: “The ghost of Kurt Cobain will haunt you tonight.”

Friend #1: “Let him! See if I care!”

Me: “So, you’re just going to be like, ‘Spirit of Kurt, come as you are.’”

Maybe Had Too Much Water Wine

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 11, 2017

(I am at my school’s choir practice. Our instructor is going over the alto part for a section of a song and no one is getting it right.)

Teacher: “Come on, guys. Make it sexy!” *noticing our looks* “What? Gospel can be sexy.”

(Pause…)

Teacher: “JESUS CAN BE SEXY, TOO!”

(Cue an uproar from everyone else.)

The Phantom Of The Opera Is There

, , , , | Friendly | November 7, 2017

(I have a friend who is OBSESSED with the “Phantom of the Opera” musical, so much so that she constantly sings different songs from the film version of the show while we sew in Home Economics class. Our classmates don’t mind because she has a beautiful voice, and the teacher lets her, as long as she is doing her assignment, too. On this day, she is singing “Masquerade,” which happens to be my favorite song, so I start singing with her.)

Friend: *clapping as we finish the song* “Wow, [My Name], you’ve got a great voice! I’ve never heard you sing before.”

Me: *blushing and shrugging* “Er, I guess so. At the very least, I don’t sound like a dying cat.”

(She suddenly sighs and looks sad.)

Me: “What’s wrong, [Friend]? You were so perky just a minute ago.”

Friend: “I just was thinking how I’d like to sing ‘Phantom of the Opera,’ but I don’t know think any of the guys in this class would know the words, or sing it with me if they did know the words.”

Me: *grinning* “Well, I know the words. I’ll sing it with you. I mean, I have a deeper vocal range, anyway, so I kind of sound like a guy when I sing sometimes.”

Friend: *excitedly* “You’d do that for me?!”

Me: “Sure.”

(We sang together as we worked, much to the amusement of our classmates.)

Bowling for Come-Ups

, , , , , , , , | Related | November 5, 2017

(My daughter’s father and I have separated, and she is crying a lot in school because of it. We have a meeting with her teacher, and she suggests maybe making a CD that our daughter can listen to in school to help calm her down. On the drive home, we are discussing what songs we can put on there.)

Daughter’s Father: “There’s this one song I put on when she’s with me that she likes dancing to.”

Me: “Is it school-appropriate?”

Daughter’s Father: “Yeah, it’s by Michael Moore.”

Me: “…”

Daughter’s Father: “…”

Me: “Who?”

Daughter’s Father: “Michael Moore. You know, the thrift store song guy!”

Me: “You mean Macklemore?!”

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