(I’ve just spent about ten minutes answering fairly standard questions from a customer about an iPod. Then, they asked this one…)
Customer: “Oh, before you leave I have one more question!”
Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”
Customer: “Will the iPod get heavier if I put more songs on it?”
Me: “No…?”
(I was so dumbfounded I didn’t realize how stupid the question actually was until ten minutes later.)
(I greeted a customer in the ‘C’ section of the CD department.)
Me: “Can I help you find something?”
Customer: “Yeah, I’m trying to find a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD.”
Me: “Well, that would be under ‘R’. I’ll show you.”
Customer: “Oh. I was going to check under ‘H’ next.”
Me: “…”
Old Woman: “Excuse me, sir, I need some batteries.”
Me: “Of course. What kind do you need?”
Old Woman: “I… I’m not sure.”
Me: “Not a problem. What do you need the batteries for? I might be able to match them up to the product.”
Old Woman: “…I need them for my ghetto blaster.”
(I’m selling tickets to a show of the High School Musical Tour.)
Customer: “I already have tickets; I just need meet and greet passes for my two girls.”
Me: “I’m sorry, you have to get those from the PR people in the show.”
Customer: “I only need two, though.”
Me: “I understand, but we do not physically have any meet and greet passes here. You can only get them from the show.”
Customer: *snooty* “I’m from Summerlin, though.”
(Summerlin is an upscale, high-class part of Las Vegas.)
Me: “Let me talk to my manager.”
(I walk to the back, count to ten and come back out.)
Me: “My manager said if you go into the show and talk to the PR people, they should have some for you.”
Customer: “Thank you!”
This story is part of the Theater roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
22 Fun Stories About Musical Theater That Will Have You Dancing In The Aisles!
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(I work at a karaoke bar operating the machine and helping drunk guests choose songs. A lady was supposed to sing an ABBA song next, but some guy got a hold of the microphone.)
Me: “Sir, excuse me, that lady is singing now, could you give me the mic?”
Customer: *looking drunk and confused* “Nooo…I’m singing now!”
Me: “Really? Dancing Queen?”
Customer: “Whaaaat? I ordered Eye Of The Tiger!”
Me: “But how? You didn’t tell me anything…and Eye Of The Tiger is not in our list…”
Customer: “I told that guy…”
(The customer points to the corner of the bar, where some man in a Superman costume was sleeping.)
Me: “Umm…he doesn’t work here you know…”
Customer: “Whaaaaat?! Can I still do the song then?”
Me: “I’ve just told you we don’t have it…”
Customer: *pointing to Superman again* “He told me you do!”
Me: “Yeah, we don’t…do you want to try some other song?”
Customer: “I WANT THE EYE OF THE TIGER!”
Me: *scared and desperate* “…How about a free shot instead of a song?”
Customer: *suddenly happy* “Alrighty!”
This story is part of the Superman roundup.
