(I really like Japanese animation and am learning Japanese as a second language so I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what kind of music would you recommend? I want to know what CD I should buy.”

Me: “Oh, I don’t think I listen to the kind of music you’d be interested in.”

Customer: “That’s not very helpful. Just tell me what kind of music you like.”

Me: “Well, I listen to a lot of Japanese songs.”

Customer: “I love that song!”

Me: “It’s not just one song. There are a lot of songs in Japanese.”

Customer: “Really? How many.”

Me: “Oh, far too many to count. There are thousands!”

Customer: “Well, that’s a bit silly, isn’t it? What’s the point in making songs in a language that no one can understand?”

Me: “A lot of people understand Japanese.”

Customer: “Like who?”

Me: “The people who live in Japan?”

Customer: “You mean Japan’s a real place?! Well, you learn something new every day!”

This story is part of our Japan roundup!

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(Our store plays soft, acoustic music over the speakers. An old man approaches me angrily.)

Customer: “Your music is too loud!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Your music is too loud. I can’t read!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Most people like it.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing music in a bookstore! It should be like a library!”

(He storms off, yelling over his shoulder.)

Customer: “I don’t come in here to buy things; I come in here to read! It should be like a library!”

(A customer is placing an order for sheet music over the phone.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need books.”

Me: “What are you looking for?”

(The customer lists off three more items, all of which need to be ordered.)

Me: “I can order those for you. However, the store requires a full deposit on sheet music orders.”

Customer: “Okay. How much is the last book? The Three Sonatas?”

(The Three Sonatas is a collection of various sonatas by a specific composer.)

Me: “$34.95.”

Customer: “I just need one, though.”

Me: “Unfortunately, they’re not printed separately. It’s only available in this collection.”

Customer: “It’s too expensive.”

Me: “Then you don’t want me to order it?”

Customer: “I need it.”

Me: “So I’ll order it.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “I need it. But you give me a discount.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You order the book. I’ll cut out the music I want, and pay a discount.”

This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

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(I’ve worked at this camp on and off for a few years, and a lot of the kids remember me from previous years.)

Kid #1: “Why weren’t you here last year?”

Me: “This camp and band camp were at the same time, so I chose to go to band camp since it was the last time I’d be with my friends.”

Kid #1: “That’s so cool! What do you play?”

Me: “Clarinet in band, but I also play piano.”

Kid #1: “I play piano, too!”

(We continue talking about different instruments we play when another girl joins in.)

Kid #2: “I play an instrument, too.”

Me: “Really? Do you play piano, too, or something?”

Kid #2: “Well, I listen to Taylor Swift. Does that count?”

This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

Read the next Musically Ignorant Customers roundup story!

Read the Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

(A customer about the age of thirty walks into the store.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for some recent Beatles records. Do you have any?”

Me: *assuming she means recent re-releases* “Hold on one second.”

(I find some and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Thank you so much! The Beatles are my favorite band! I would shoot myself if they ever broke up!”

Customer Behind Her: “Well, get your gun ready.”

This story is part of our Beatles roundup!

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